As I Look at the Stars
by DarkUchiha18
Summary: This story takes place over 300 years after the war with the Reapers. Most species are united under the council. Still, there are conflicts that dig up past hurts from the war and create more as a result. The new krogan rebellion has begun, and it's up to some old friends-along with a new protagonist/friends-to end it peacefully. The galaxy, as we know it, is once again at risk.
1. Chapter 0

Warning:  
What I have written is incomplete and riddled with time-skips.  
This was a project I started back in December 2015. Because of the fact that it's taken so long to figure out how to fill in the blanks, the story will feel rushed and the characters might seem weak.  
I've been struggling recently with how I want to proceed with this story and I've decided to just upload what I have and leave it to the world of fan fiction imagination to take it wherever.  
This story as a whole is probably poorly written as well and riddled with grammar issues as well as repeated "he said/she said" phrasings after quotes. I tried to go back and correct at least some grammar mistakes, but I've come to the conclusion that I just don't have the energy to repair this old story as well as my other stories I'm currently working on.  
I hope someone enjoys this story anyway and if anyone should wish to build upon this on their own or use this as inspiration for your own story, feel free to do so.  
Thank you to all that read my stories

-Eddy

Update 1/17: Fixed issue from this chapter not reading correctly. I think this sites "copy and paste" uploading is buggy. So, sorry to anyone this annoyed. -Eddy


	2. Chapter 1: The Goliath

**A/N: This chapter is the 'Introduction' to the story. Just like with each game in the Mass Effect Trilogy, I wanted this story to start off on a darker tone. Although short, this is still a very important chapter that will carry on to future chapters.**

 **Thank you for taking the time to read my fan fiction. I hope you will enjoy reading this story. ^_^**

 **-Eddy**

 **Chapter 1: The Goliath**

It's been over 300 years since the end of the war with the Reapers. The one who lead the mission, Commander Shepard, is still a highly respected war hero for giving her life to saving the galaxy by destroying the Reapers. Many have honored her by creating memorials in her name in the forms of statues, holidays, and a warship named after her. Some still remember her as a friend. However, all of her colleagues, comrades, and friends have either moved on or passed on by now. Her efforts at stopping the war will forever be the inspiration many people will need for working to solidify peace among the many species in the galaxy.

Since learning about her some odd years back, she's been a true inspiration for me. After hearing about the many things she accomplished in her life, I wanted to learn more about her. So, I searched the galaxy for answers. Regardless of how I was able to gather the information about her, I now know more about her than any history textbook ever could. She's one of many reasons I joined the Alliance.

Why did I join the Alliance, you ask? Well, that answer is complicated.

As the galaxy progresses, so does its oppositions. Some still believe that we could've somehow harnessed the power of the Reapers for our own development. So, these people let their opinions be known through the only way they know how—protesting with violence.

The krogan believe in what is now the rebellion—especially after the genophage had been cured centuries ago by a salarian scientist named Mordin Solus—will strengthen the krogan. The rebellion will "teach the galaxy a lesson of trust and perseverance," as the krogan pursuing the rebellion would claim. Because of this, and once they had let their opinions be known, they gained the allies of mercenary bands and rogue Alliance officers of many different ranks.

Even though many people truly believe that Commander Shepard brought peace to the galaxy, many other species still don't believe that she brought "true" peace. "Destroying the Reapers was a mistake," they would say, "The galaxy could have been stronger with them fighting at our side."

And that is why the Rebellion started.

With Urdnot Wrex still ruling over Tuchanka and regarded as a counselor to represent all krogan in the galaxy, he was faced with many oppositions within the krogan population and forced to choose a successor to take over as chief of clan Urdnot. Though he had many children, he knew that the position of clan chief had to be handed onto Urdnot Grunt. Grunt would keep the peace between the clans, as Wrex had taught him, and the krogan armies would be stronger.

Still, Wrex was left to decide the fate of the krogan in the rebellion. As time passed by, Wrex had to make the hardest decision he was ever faced with. He would have to pick a side. He had to decide if he would support the rebellion or the galaxy. Either way, he would have to divide his people. So, he had to carefully consider all of his options.

On one hand, Wrex could see the reasons behind the necessity of the rebellion, but he remembered his good friend, Commander Shepard, helped him to bring peace to the krogan by curing the genophage and uniting the krogan under his rule. More importantly, she gave her life to bring the galaxy peace. Even if that meant destroying the Reapers. He supported her then, _why not now_?

Wrex couldn't dishonor his friend by standing against her in her afterlife. After thinking it over, Wrex made his opinions known to the council that he would support the galaxy in the war _against_ the krogan rebellion. As a result, the krogan became divided and new clans were made to represent their beliefs. Even the large clan Urdnot was divided.

The batarians, who managed to live through the war, made their own place in the galaxy. Either that be by becoming mercenaries, space rats, or free-lancers. Or more than that.

Just like with the krogan, the batarians sought their way into diplomacy. Even with the galaxy's opinion of the batarian species being too eccentric, harsh, and rude, the batarians had their own reasons for being represented in the galaxy. Like the turians, the batarians make good military leaders and they could put aside their differences if it meant they could live in peace among the other species of the galaxy. Something they've wanted for many centuries. They would also make an exceptional ally during the rebellion.

The volus, even though an ally to the council races before the war, eventually gained their own seat within the council to represent the volus' place in the galaxy. While diplomatic at heart, the volus took a more passive role in the galaxy. Their primary focus being the negotiator. With their expertise in negotiating, and relaying information to each representative in the council, they make a valuable ally. They are able to settle disputes among the smaller factions of the galaxy. And, in doing so, keeping the peace. Or, trying to at least.

Even after this progress in the galactic community, the rebellion split up many of these species. Half fighting in favor of the war, and the other fighting against it.

The galaxy, after many years, was once again divided.

To me, other people's opinions of the war don't matter. I believe that Commander Shepard did what she could for the galaxy with every ounce of her being. The Reapers needed to be destroyed to stop the war for good. Commander Shepard made her decision with the determination and heroism I wish I had. That is a reason why I'm here today as an Alliance navy soldier.

It's not just the Alliance as a whole that have fought against the rebellion, I've had personal experience with fighting against the rebellion. Even though I've been through a lot already—with the infighting among the different races, Alliance Navy training, and my own inner-personal conflicts. According to many people I encounter, I happen to be what is known as a "space rat". I grew up homeless, but roamed the galaxy with my own comrades for most of my adolescence—illegally.

While finding trouble around every corner, getting into dangerous situations, and doing what I could in order to survive, I discovered my own reason to become a better person. Commander Shepard helped me, perhaps only as just my imagination, to discover that what I was doing at the time was not for the greater good of the galaxy—or anyone for that matter. Soon after learning about the commander, I would see the lives I was ruining and become saddened by, well, everything I did. It eventually took its toll on me and I started looking for a purpose—my purpose. So, I went to school, ditched my comrades, and became an Alliance Navy soldier.

When I ended my training as an Alliance soldier, it had been four years since I started, and two years before I would be a part of an Alliance crew.

For five years, I was stationed on an Alliance ship nicknamed the "Goliath". It was a massive ship with enough space inside for two complete crews. It was deemed to be the largest space frigate since the Normandy SR-2, which measures to only about a quarter less than the size of the Goliath.

My job has been, and always will be, strategy. As a tactician and soldier, I guide other soldiers during combat—while simultaneously being there with them. However, I'm not a commander. I just make suggestions on what to do next, and I like it that way. It makes me feel like I can make a difference in a positive way. And sometimes, I don't even have to lift a finger.

With all of my responsibilities as the tactician for the Goliath, I also have the privilege of getting to know the crew. Over half of Goliath's crew are asari or turian. The rest are human, like me. However, it seems that no one actually respects me as a person. They respect me because I can guide them through tough missions safely, but they dislike me because of who I was to them before—a criminal, a thief, and a liar. Not everyone trusts me to be with them in close quarters. So, I usually spend my time alone looking out of the ship's windows at the stars—isolated from everyone until I'm needed. For a long time, this has been enough for me. It isn't comfortable, but it gives me a sense of peace.

 _However, that little bit of peace I had would soon be shattered._

 _On a tragic and unsettling day, the Goliath was targeted by a rogue krogan frigate._

 _Once a proud nation of strong allies, is now a divided nation of supporters of the war and ones that are against the war—the rebellion's origins. The krogan who pilot these ships are the ones who are against the outcome of the war. They saw the death of the Reapers as a lost chance of strength gain, and a loss for the greater good of the galaxy. They want justice for that loss of power._

 _While the Goliath was being targeted by the krogan frigate, as the tactician, it was my responsibility to make sure the crew was able to evacuate safely. Through any means necessary. However, at the sight of the krogan, the crew was in a panic—and so was I._

 _The Goliath's soldiers fought back sporadically, disorganized, and fell quickly. My words could not reach them. No matter what I said, what course I set, or what actions I took to gain their support, the krogan infiltrated the ship and eventually killed every crew member on board—except me._

 _It wasn't obvious why they spared me. Out of every other living soul on board, I was the only one to survive. They shot me, and I was critically wounded, but they left me—still alive. Maybe I looked dead to them? Or, maybe, they showed me some twisted sense of mercy? Or, maybe they wanted me to experience a slow painful death? Their reasons for sparing me over anyone else on board the Goliath is still a mystery to me._

While I notice that I'm critically wounded, I hear an alarm ringing through the cold silence. The sound is loud and makes my ears ring. _I need to turn it off._ There is no longer a need for a distress call or alarm. _I don't want the Alliance to know that I failed._ So, if I die, at least I died amongst other people. _But, to do that, I need to turn off the alarm._

As I slowly stand up, I hold onto the wall. The pain of the gunshot wounds ring throughout my body and, as I see my own clothes drenched in blood, I start shaking. I'm going to die. Standing like this reminds me how fragile life is—how fragile all life is.

As I stand up straight, the pain of my wounds hits me, sending shockwaves of pain throughout my body. Still, I have to keep moving through the pain. _This will all be over soon._

While I continue to walk towards the alarm, I see bodies lying at my feet—it's shocking to me, but I can't allow myself to feel sorrow. _It won't be long until I join them._

The sound of the emergency alarm shifts into an emergency call alert to the pilot. As I guide myself to the pilot's chair, I see the people I've worked with for the past ten years of my service. My comrades, colleagues, and other soldiers are all dead. We were never friends, but it is still heartbreaking to see so many people dead. "Goliath! This is Admiral Coen! Come in!" A voice shouts into the com channel, but I can only hear it faintly. It's a man. "I heard oppositions! Is anyone there?" The voice calls as I slowly enter the room. "Hello?" They continue and I hesitate to place my hand over the answer button.

"This is…tactician Jordan Knight." I say as I'm out of breath. _It's hard to breathe._

"Tactician? Where are your superiors?" The Admiral asks as I feel myself tear up.

"The Goliath…we were…just taken by a krogan infiltration team, Admiral." I say and bow my head in shame. "I'm the only one left, sir."

"A rescue team is on the way, Miss Knight." The Admiral says, trying to reassure me. "We'll get you out of there soon." He says as I start contemplating on the fight. There were so many Krogan, slaughtering the crew—while I hid in a vent. "Are you wounded?" He asks and I look at my body. Three bullet holes surrounded by blood.

"Yes." I hear myself say as I try holding back my tears.

"The rescue team has a doctor on board that will patch you up." The Admiral says, reassuring me. "You're going to be all right."

"Thank you, Admiral, but…" I say and lean against the wall behind me. I feel like my body is getting lighter. "I don't think I have much time left." I say as feel cold from the wetness of my blood covering my clothes.

"They will get to you in time. I promise." He says, calmly and confidently.

After several minutes pass, with the Admiral talking me through the wait for the rescue team, I slide down the wall to sit. I'm getting tired. "Miss Knight?" He asks but I don't respond. His breath quickens with panic. "Stay with me!" The Admiral shouts. Even though I want to tell him "don't worry about me," but I can't get the words out. "The rescue team is just outside."

"I'm…sorry, sir." I hear myself whisper as I hear the loading door open. Three soldiers walk in. When they see me, they quickly rush up to me. I feel them walking to me, which comforts me, but my eyes close on their own. This is a bitter-sweet moment.

"There she is!" A soldier, a man, shouts as I feel someone quickly bend down to me.

"Admiral! She's lost a lot of blood!" One of the soldiers, a woman, shouts. She sounds scared and anxious. "I can't believe she survived…look at all of those bodies!"

"Focus, Kiera!" A man, older than the first, shouts. "What should we do, Admiral?"

"Get her onto the Normandy! Quickly!" The Admiral shouts and I feel one of them pick me up, cradling me like a child. "No need to look for survivors. Just get her to safety! Coen out."

"You heard the man!" The older man shouts and I hear the sound of feet shuffling. "Now, go!"

"She's so…light…" The one holding me, a man, says. "Thankfully, our doctor is prepared for something like this…" I hear him say, faintly. Then, I can't hear anything at all. Just the silence in the darkness.

What did the Admiral say?

He told them to get me "onto the Normandy"? That name sounds so familiar…

Where have I heard that name before?


	3. Chapter 2: Welcome to the Normandy

*****Content warning: Mention of suicide*****

 **Chapter 2: Welcome to the Normandy**

A cold, dark silence surrounds me. No light in sight. It's eerie, but still seems peaceful. _Have I died?_ With a thump, a steady heartbeat breaks the silence. _No, I'm alive._ The sound echoes as the blackness surrounding me changes. _Is this a dream, or a nightmare? I wonder._

Suddenly, the blackness surrounding me bursts into a fiery red. With the flames of a fire and the loudness of an explosion, I'm confronted by a new scene.

Everything is on fire around me.

Through the flames, I can only see more darkness. Shadowy figures, blacker than the darkness, stand as they stare at me. _Who are they?_

In a menacing way, these figures point at me. "The only one." They say in a dark, ominous tone. Their eyes glow a bright red as the drumming of the heartbeat— _my heartbeat_ —becomes the bass behind the sudden sound of an alarm. Then, a downpour of rain begins dowsing the fire.

While the flames dissipate within the darkness, the smoke rises from the ground up to surround the darkened figures. As if they were being swallowed by the smoke, the darkened figures fade away, leaving the eerie darkened room.

Once the smoke clears, I'm able to see polished tables and computers on either side of me. I'm standing in the middle of a science lab of sorts.

Lining the walls were containers. Standing upright, these containers, although darkened and barely noticeable, have doors with windows showing what contains them. _People._ Each coffin-like container has a different symbol etched on its outside. A series of numbers. Brandings. Each starting with a single letter. A's, K's, H's, T's, followed with hyphenated three-digit numbers.

 _What is this?_ I ask the darkness. My gaze moves down each container as the numbers increase in value.

I continue down this path until I reach a lone container.

Instead of looking into a darkened window, the inside to this container is lit. However, there is no body inside. Only the branding number etched on the outside: H-990. A word, also etched on the container, is visible—but illegible. _I can't read it._ My vision is blurred, but only to this one word.

 _Why can't I read it?_ I ask myself, frustrated.

Then, with a slow pull, the scene blackens completely. Now, only the darkness surrounds me. Again.

It must have been hours before I finally regained consciousness from this dream.

Before I can open my eyes, I can hear people talking. Patiently waiting, I keep my eyes closed. _Who is talking?_ "A tactician was all who survived a krogan attack?" A man asks.

 _Great, they must have been the ones who rescued me. They must think I'm a coward for not perishing with the crew of the Goliath._

"Miss Knight is a soldier as well as a tactician, Danial." A woman says, as if also reading the information.

 _So, they've already had access to my personal records. Great. Now, I just have to explain how I managed to be the only one to survive a full-on krogan infiltration team. Compared to the crew of the Goliath combined, I should have died—easily._

"But, she's not as strong as all of the other soldiers on the Goliath combined." The man, Danial, says in frustration.

 _See? Even this man knows I should have died._

"I mean, just look at her, Doctor. She's only one woman! There's no way she could have fought back an army of krogan by herself!"

"Don't judge her too quickly. All we know about her is the information Admiral Coen has given us." The woman says and Danial sighs. "We have to wait until she wakes up. Then we can ask her what happened."

 _You know, at first I thought this woman was nice. But, now, I'm not so sure. She wants to try to understand how, out of all of the other crew members aboard the Goliath, I was the only one who managed to survive._

 _Don't we all?_

"I know. Sorry, Dr. T'Soni." Danial says and I feel someone touch my arm.

 _T'Soni? Where have I heard that name?_ Suddenly, the flash of a vision—of me seeing a picture of the crew of the Normandy—fills my mind. They're all standing in front of the Normandy SR-2. But, I've never personally seen this photo. My research of Commander Shepard never included pictures of any kind. _This is weird._

Then, just as suddenly as the vision ends, I hear Dr. T'Soni gasp. "Doctor? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing." I hear Dr. T'Soni say with a calm sigh and I open my eyes. "Miss Knight?"

Silently, I study the room. The room is bright. So bright that it nearly hurts my eyes. Dr. T'Soni, an asari dressed in white armor, stands next to me, while Danial sits on the bed next to me in an Alliance standard compression shirt and camo pants.

"For a tactician, you're very quiet." Danial says and I sit up. Then, I cringe as I feel the pain of the bullet wounds. "We almost lost you back there."

"If you don't mind…may I ask you a few questions?" Dr. T'Soni asks and I look at her as I sit up all the way to face her. Then, I nod. "I know this is still new for you, but we need to know how the attack on the Goliath happened."

 _Here we go..._

"All I remember is…" Stoically, I say as the scene begins playing out in my mind. The bright lights that usually light the Goliath becomes dulled. "…the emergency lights switching on as the Goliath attempts FTL…" The scene continues. The Goliath rocks slightly, making me lose my footing. I catch myself before falling as I look all around me. The lights flicker as I hear loud knocking on the outside of the ship. "Then, the ship lost its shields…" I continue. The crew begins running in panic. While some are trying to concentrate on navigating the ship, soldiers prepare to greet our guests. "…and, then the krogan…" Continuing, I feel my heart racing. The sense of fear starts to overwhelm me as I watch a row of asari soldiers frantically trying to fight off the krogan. The turian and human soldiers back them, but the krogan charged. There are more of them, nearly outnumbering the Goliath's soldiers. As I witness this, I hide inside a vent overlooking the specialist's terminal. _I abandoned them_. Moments later, it was silent. I drop down from the vent to see the krogan almost leave. "Then…I was shot."

"You were attempting FTL?" Danial asks and I nod. "Why?"

"We were supposed to be en-route for the next mission…" I say and bow my head. "It was to be coordinated by me…"

"Have you had run-ins with krogan before?" Danial asks and I nod.

"I was trained for this. I should have fought back…I should have-" I say and feel a hand on my shoulder. Dr. T'Soni is trying to comfort me. "Even my training in the Alliance prepared me for fighting the krogan, but...I hid away in a vent while the krogan attacked. The ship was quiet when I got out, but..."

"It's not your fault." Dr. T'Soni says and I look up at her. Suddenly, as I look at her, I see memories of me looking at her from afar—admiring her. The memories stop as she takes her hand off my shoulder.

"I was…talking to Admiral Coen before…" I say and look away. _This ship seems oddly familiar. As if I've been here before._ "Is this…" I ask as I notice a symbol of the Aliance navy. "…the Normandy?"

"Yes. This is the Normandy." Dr. T'Soni says.

"This is…?" I ask as a memory of me looking at a ship through glass fills my mind. The name "Normandy" is written across the body of the ship in bold. My heart starts beating faster, with nervousness. I've kept my studies a secret from the Alliance for the ten years that I've been a soldier. The history of this ship isn't public knowledge these days. "The Normandy…I…read about this ship in school." I lie as I continue to see the memory of the Normandy. In truth, I remembered my search for information about the commander. All I found were notes, but the Normandy was heavily mentioned in nearly every report.

"Really? I thought they stopped teaching schools about the Normandy decades ago. Not even the Alliance training schools teach the history of the Normandy anymore." Danial says as I feel their distrust in me. Although expected, this snaps me back into the reality that I'm finally inside the ship I've been reading about for several years now—researching about Commander Shepard.

"The ship…this was…" I start saying and see the vision of Commander Shepard and her crew in front of the Normandy become clearer. "…Commander Shepard's."

"Yes. Commander Shepard used this ship during the war with the Reapers." Dr. T'Soni says as she steps into my field of view. "How did you know that?"

"Yeah, you've only been awake for a few minutes. We never told you the name of the ship, or its history." Danial says with his arms crossed. _He's suspicious of me._ For good reason, but it's still disheartening.

"I remember the Admiral calling this ship the Normandy just before I lost consciousness." I say as I remember the scene. I was covered in blood, tired, and my eyes were closed. "I learned that Commander Shepard was stationed on this ship before the war…" I say as I feel my head throb and raise a hand up to my face with an exhausted sigh. "…I'm sorry."

"Maybe it was too soon to try and talk." Danial says and stands up. "She's probably just delirious from the blood loss."

Although he has a point, and it could logically explain the visions as well, it seems they haven't noticed that I was lying about learning about the Normandy in school. _Lucky for me, I guess._

As I think about how naïve those two are, I notice that they both have already started walking out of the room.

"We'll let you get some rest, Miss Knight." Dr. T'Soni says, just before she walks out of the med bay with Danial.

 _But, that dream I had. Containers? They were like coffins! People were kept in them! What was te point of that? What about the numbers? What is the significance of the letters? What's so special about the H-990 from the end of the dream?_

 _Wait. Don't tell me._

Frantically, I peek down my shirt and my arm sleeves. On one of my arms is a haunting black tattoo. It's been years since I've even thought about it. When I was younger, my space rat friends would joke that I drank too much alcohol and got a tattoo as a result of being drunk. "Typical human," they would add as they laughed at my irresponsibility. But, I've had this tattoo for what seems like forever.

When I lift up my sleeve, I look into a metal piece across from me. It reflects my body nearly perfectly. Even with the tattoo displayed backwards, I can read what it says. And it haunts me. A grim "H-990" is written boldly on my bicep.

 _Shit! Now is not the time for any of this!_

As I try to keep my composure, I quickly roll my sleeve back down to cover the tattoo. _This has something to do with that dream, I just know it._

Hopefully, the dream was just that: a dream. A product of built up paranoia from seeing so many dead bodies on the Goliath, paired with the exhaustion from losing so much blood.

 _As Danial said, I must be delirious_. Overacting to a dream, as if it were real.

After nodding to myself, telling myself that the dream was just a dream, I lay back down.

For a while, I'll just lay here in the med-bay. _I hope this ship has a place where I can look at the stars._

 _-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX_

Later, I was released to the crew quarters. Apparently, while Dr. T'Soni and Danial were speaking with him, the Admiral decided it would be best if I joined their crew—for now, anyway. However, I was relieved of my title as tactician since they already have a tactician with twice my experience.

 _For now, I'm just a soldier._

After sitting alone for several minutes, contemplating about the past few days, I hear someone walk in the room from behind me. "Hey. Knight, right?" A woman asks and I look at her. A tall woman with short spiked blue-colored hair. "I'm Kiera. It's nice to meet you." She says as she holds out a hand to shake. Then, after seeing that I won't grab her hand, she pulls it away from me. "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened to the Goliath. It seems the whole thing's hit you pretty hard."

"Yeah…" I say and she sits across from me. "…you could say that."

"Look, we're going to be on this ship together for a while. We should get to know each other." She says and smiles warmly.

"I'm not that interesting." I say, trying to refuse to talk, and she lightly giggles.

"That just makes me more curious." She says and I look down. "You're not a bad person, Knight."

"Have you read my files?" I ask, bluntly. Fully anticipating her to start judging me based on the data written in the files about my past.

"Sure, you were a space rat. So what? At least you decided to do something other than just steal from other people." She says with a sarcastic tone. "Becoming a tactician for an Alliance frigate as big as the Goliath couldn't have been easy."

"I was trained to be a soldier until I started giving advice to other soldiers for what to do next in intense firefights." I say as I remember my last time out in the field. "When someone finally listened…" I say as I try thinking about something interesting to say. Then, I remembered one of my first missions with the Alliance. "We were trying to locate and capture a criminal. A Yahg by the name of Tack Brawl." I say and look up at her, seeing that she's smiling—fully anticipating a story. "We weren't supposed to do anything other than capture him, so…we brought a cage." I say and she laughs. I remember the whole ordeal. The yahg growling at my half of the team as it's about to charge at us. "While the team of biotics and I held Tack off, the other soldiers pushed the cage behind him." I continue as the event continues to play in my mind. Just before the yahg could reach my team, a gate door separated him from everyone. _You could say the yahg was less than pleased to be caged like an animal at a zoo._ "Everyone left completely unharmed…and we managed to complete the mission."

"What happened to Tack?" Kiera asks, curiously, with a smile.

"We left him there, in the cage, on the Admiral's orders." I say and she laughs.

Suddenly, I hear a knock from across the room. Quickly, Kiera and I look over to see Danial standing with his arms crossed. "So, the little space rat that could managed to survive a krogan invasion? Why don't you go back to training, then maybe you could have spared much more blood."

"Leave her alone, Danial." Kiera says angrily as she stands up.

"You don't know her like I do, Kiera." Danial says and I recognize his face. He went to Alliance training at the same time I did. "She's a criminal and a killer. She probably enjoyed seeing those people dying on the Goliath."

"You really think she's a killer, Danial?" Kiera asks in anger and I stand up.

"No, he's right…I've killed people." I say, honestly. Then, Danial gives me a sly smile as he crosses his arms.

"Knight?" Kiera asks as she turns to face me.

"I didn't have a family growing up…and I did whatever was necessary to stay alive. Sometimes, that meant sacrificing others' lives for my own." I explain as they both look shocked to hear me say that out loud. It's the truth. As a space rat, I had no parents or military background. So, I was left to travel the galaxy with other space rats. That's what makes me a space rat—traveling the galaxy with no real purpose but to survive. It's the reason why I've become so fond of the stars.

Along these early travels of mine, I met a batarian named Katar. He was a brute and very harsh. He shamelessly led the group of space rats that I traveled with for a few years. Leading us meant resorting to violence if it meant we would survive. It worked, but with very brutal consequences. He was unfair in every sense of the word. Even pinning all of the blame on me, the only human space rat in the group, if something bad happened. Even though Katar was aggressive to everyone, it taught me a few things. Lessons I've come to understand years after they were taught. It's made me stronger. And, if need be, ruthless.

"I was struck daily by a Batarian who called himself Katar…I was young, and it was too early for me to learn how to control my biotics. He quickly shut it down, forcing me to hide my abilities." I continue as the memories play out in my mind. The living conditions were horrible, as you might imagine. We hopped onto rogue space crafts to get to where we needed to. For survival, maybe, but Katar understood our needs. We needed food, shelter, and a way to survive without the council's aid. We only had the bare minimum, and we made due with what we had. "Katar eventually led us to a planet, he didn't say which, and ordered me and the other space rats with us to ambush a group of refugees to steal their resources…" I say and pause to see the two look saddened.

 _Can they tell that I'm silently reliving these memories?_

I never wanted to put anyone in danger, but we had to survive. Katar wouldn't have it any other way. These refugees had to be sacrificed for the safety of the small group of space rat adults and children. "As if that wasn't enough…Katar ordered me and the other space rats to dress in krogan body armor to disguise ourselves…but, the refugees…they thought they were seeing real, hostile krogan…and, out of fear that we might slaughter them, they committed suicide…in front of us." I say and look down as I clench my fists. I remember the scene as if it happened yesterday. It was the first time I saw someone give their own life in front of me. Sadly, it wouldn't be the last. Many space rats resort to suicide because of mental instabilities. Depression, anxiety, drug abuse. PTSD, even. From all of the struggles we go through in our own individual self-proclaimed worlds, it's not surprising that so many of us are mentally unstable.

"That was…never in the reports I read…" Kiera says and I feel her walk further away from me.

"It's not so surprising." Danial says as he uncrosses his arms. He seems unmoved from the history of my life. Not surprising, but still disheartening. "Those refugees were people too. Still, you sat there and watched them take their own lives." He says and I nod.

 _He's right. I did just that: watch the innocent refugees kill themselves._

"Yes." I say as I continue to feel guilty. Sadness overcomes me, but I don't cry. I can't cry over something that happened so long ago. "They died…everyone died because of me." I say, remembering the refugees and the aftermath of the krogan attack on the Goliath. The blood-stained floor as I walk through dead bodies plays through my mind like a vid stuck in repeat. The grim silence as I feel my body becoming weaker from blood loss haunts me. The feeling of being helpless.

"See, Kiera? Even Knight knows she's a murderer. Just like a space rat." Danial says and I hear him walk out of the room. Then, I start walking out of the crew quarters.

"Knight…I'm so sorry." Kiera says and I look at her. She looks depressed, shaken even. But, there's no way for me to revert her back to her cheery side that she tried so hard to show me. "I should have stopped him…"

"No. It's okay…I just need to be alone." I say and continue walking to the star-board observation deck just a walkway away.

 _Was a place like this always here?_

 _Finally, a place where I can look at the stars._ It's nostalgic and sad. But, even as the stars seem so familiar, it's different from when I used to watch the stars on the Goliath. I was always alone, but the stars always stayed there. They've always been comforting to me.

Minutes pass as I stare out into the stars, thinking about the days passed—again. The sight of the krogan slaughtering the whole crew of the Goliath continues to play out over and over again in my mind.

While continuing to stare at the stars, I lay down on a couch facing the window.

Soon, I fall asleep.

I dreamt of the scene on the Goliath. The krogan got on board just after the emergency lights came on. Just before that, though, computers were shutting off as the pilot was trying to conserve power. The crew steadily started becoming disorganized and anxious as the countdown for the jump to FTL started—and stopped moments later. The krogan-piloted frigate had taken down all of our shields.

There wasn't much time to think about strategy, but this seemed like an easy win—for the krogan. There were over a dozen krogan warriors that came aboard. All of them slaughtering everyone in their path with little trouble. The pilot was the first to go. Even with all of our asari commandos aboard, they were taken down quickly—even the turians never stood a chance. Everyone was panicked, but I hid in a vent. When I eventually came out, everyone was on the floor—lying in cold blood. Just before the last krogan left, I was shot.

As the dream ends with me getting shot down, I start to wake up. I feel someone stroking my hair as if to comfort me. Quickly, I open my eyes. _It's Dr. T'Soni._ "It seemed like you were having a bad dream. Are you all right?" She asks as she stops stroking my hair. Suddenly, I see another memory of her smiling down at me. Then, I sit up quickly as I realize I'm lying down on her lap.

"I'm sorry…I didn't mean to…" I say and turn away from her.

"It's all right. I just got here." Dr. T'Soni says as I sit up with my back to the back of the couch. "Why aren't you in the crew quarters? Kiera told me you hadn't been back for a few hours."

"I just have a lot on my mind." I say, honestly.

"Like what?" She asks and I stare out the window to look at the stars again.

"The krogan left me alive…for what?" I ask as I feel her concern. "And Admiral Coen…he had this ship save me. For what reason? I'm not that good of a tactician to want to save."

"The Alliance wouldn't just leave their own fleets behind because there's only one person left to save." She says and I look at her. "If there was even one person left, we have to save them. No matter who they are." She says strongly, yet softly, and I look up at the stars again.

"After the Goliath's leading tactician passed away five years ago, I replaced him." I say as I remember my time on the ship. "I had been finished with my specialty training for three years…I vowed to protect the lives I led…but I failed." I say as tears start forming in my eyes. "When the krogan invaded the ship, my voice couldn't reach the crew…and I hid away like a coward."

"It wasn't your fault." Dr. T'Soni says and I look down. "The attack must have put the crew into hysteria. You wouldn't have been able to guide them like that." She says and I look at her. "Don't blame yourself like this."

"Why are you being so nice to me?" I hear myself ask as if it were involuntary.

"Why do you ask? Do I have a reason not to?" She asks.

"You read my reports, so you should know about me. About my past." I say and she smiles.

"That's what you're concerned about?" She asks and I nod with anticipation for what she would say about what she knows. "Yes, I read about you. A refugee with no family living or dead. A thief with low morale, low self-esteem, and a frequent liar."

"Yes…that's me." I say and she puts a hand on my shoulder.

"Despite all of that, you joined the Alliance and made a good name for yourself." She says with a smile. "You became a tactician so you could better protect the people you worked with."

"Because of my past, the crew of the Goliath never truly trusted me." I say and she takes her hand off my shoulder. "Even the asari commandos couldn't fully trust me, yet they followed my strategies anyway. The turians and other humans couldn't stand the sight of me…I was never welcomed in front of them."

"The crew of the Normandy is different." Dr. T'Soni says and I look away in disbelief. "Give us a chance, at least."

"Thank you for talking with me, Doctor…but, for now…I think I want to be alone for a while." I say and she stands up.

"If you need to talk more, I'll be in my office." She says as the memory of Commander Shepard embracing Dr. T'Soni in this room fills my mind.

 _Why am I seeing these memories?_

"Oh, and…we'll be arriving at our next mission objective in the next twelve hours." She says and I turn to look at her. "Welcome to the Normandy, Miss Knight."

"Yes, ma'am." I say with a small smile. "Thank you."

This will be the start of an adventure I will never forget.


	4. Chapter 3: Just a Soldier

**A/N: Thank you for reading the story so far! Also, if you didn't know (as of Nov. 30, 2016) I've updated the last three chapters with new information, so make sure you read those if you haven't already. Sorry for the inconvenience. This chapter has violence (not incredibly detailed, but it's there). Just a heads up.**

 **-Eddy**

 **Chapter 3: Just a Soldier**

Hours pass as I stay in the starboard observation deck, waiting for the call to dock at the mission location. Thanks to the meti-gel and careful treatment given to me while I was unconscious—before meeting Dr. T'Soni—I'm now fully healed.

In anticipation for the mission, I put on my armor, loaded my guns, and polished my sword. I'm surprised that the very reluctant Lt. Danials had retrieved my armor from the Goliath when the Normandy rescued me. _Heh, this makes me seem like a damsel in distress._ "All soldiers to airlock. We're ready to dock." A man's voice says and I immediately stand up to head upstairs. _Good. I need this time to blow off steam. I hope there's a hostile krogan to kick the shit out of._

"Are you sure you're ready?" Kiera asks as I pass her in the hall.

"I told the Admiral I was ready, and I am." I say as I continue walking. When I was assigned to this mission, the Admiral insisted that I go through with it. He wants me to get accustomed to the Normandy' crew. _He's probably going to station me here, isn't he?_

"Look. About yesterday…I'm sorry we cornered you." Kiera says as she walks with me.

"No. I understand. You're curious about me, since I'm new here." I say as we get closer to the CIC. "We need to get to know each other well enough if we're going to be working together."

"Agreed." She replies as we see Lt. Danials. He looks mildly concerned and as if he's examining me with his eyes.

"You look…different." The lieutenant says, probably referring to my armor; a long-sleeve black undercoat woven under the silvery blue plating on top, on my shoulder guards is an etched in Alliance symbol, a tassel lays flat on top of my chest guards and past my shoulders to hold my sword, a holster belt on my waist holds a shotgun and a pistol, then to my lower half with only having minimal plating on my knees going down my legs over soft-leather pants, black leather boots, and a pair of black leather gloves. This armor has served me well in the way I fight in combat. I was surprised how they managed to give it back to me, given that the Goliath is probably under investigation by now. "Not the type of armor you'd see your average biotic in."

"Well, I'm not average." I say as I glare at him. He crosses his arms, not amused.

"I can see that." Danial says as he glares back at me.

 _He's mocking me, isn't he?_

"What's your problem, Danial?" Kiera asks and Danial relaxes his arms. Then, he pats me lightly on my shoulder.

"Look, I'm…sorry about yesterday." The lieutenant says and I walk past him. I don't know if he's making an attempt at reconciling with me or if he's just saying this to 'play nice'. "I…heard that you were having a hard time on the Goliath. Dr. T'Soni told me."

 _Of course she did._

"Let's just focus on the mission, okay?" I say as I walk to the door, avoiding his attempt to amend what he said about me the day before. He made me relive some haunting memories of my past and accused me of murdering the crew of the Goliath. All in under ten minutes.

"I guess I deserve that." He says.

"Yes. Yes, you did." Kiera says in a playful tone of voice.

I approach a man wearing his Alliance dress blues and holding a data pad.

"Glad to see you up and walking around." A man says and holds out a hand to shake. "I'm Sargent Donald Lay. I'm overseeing this mission over the com today." He says as I can tell that he's doing this as a formality, since I'm on the mission. "It's good to finally meet you, Miss Knight."

"You too, sir." I say as I shake his hand. He pulls back his hand as Lt. Danials and Kiera stand next to me, then salute him briefly as he salutes them back.

"The station we're landing on is a civilian housing facility, so watch your fire." He says as Kiera, Danial, and I stand at attention. "You must get to the bomb located at the center of the market street and disarm it. However, the area is heavily guarded by cloaked spies and mercenaries alike. So, naturally, you'll need to take them out first. But, make it quick. The bomb is set to explode within the hour. Now, move!"

"Yes, sir!" We say as we salute and quickly spin on our heels to start heading out onto the station.

"And, Miss Knight, remember that you're working together as a team." Sargent Lay says and I continue walking out. "You can trust these two."

Without looking back, I say, "Yes, sir," and the door closes behind me.

The station we docked on was colored white. Plain and predictable. The landing zone leads to the station's main floor, then to the small civilian housing district.

When we walk out onto the main floor, I sense someone watching us. Then, I look around us, the front is unguarded, but I can see the feint warping of the top floor looking down. "Be careful. We're being watched." I say as we continue walking.

"You're not leading us, Knight. We can handle ourselves." Lt. Danials says and I hear a gunshot. Immediately, I use my biotics to shield us. A bullet bounces off the barrier—proving I was right. Kiera smiles as the lieutenant rolls his eyes.

"You know, she was the tactician for the Goliath, Danial." Kiera says as I notice other soldiers walking around in front of us. They are armed with assault rifles.

"Get to cover." I say and we quickly hide behind crates.

"Wait. I thought Lay said there were spies and mercenaries…not soldiers." Kiera says as I examine the battlefield. These are mercenaries, wearing red and blue armor. There is a single doorway underneath a walkway that leads to stairs from the ground floor up. Three soldiers stay hidden behind the railing, while five others continue walking towards us from the doorway. To the left, there are two hidden snipers. Behind the upper level, I can see civilians walking calmly behind a sheet of glass. "No one told me we were heading into battle against an army." Kiera says, sarcastically. This is no army, but they could be more dangerous than they look.

"Listen." I say as I look at Kiera and Danial. I see that Kiera has a sniper rifle in hand and Danial has an assault rifle rifle in hand. _Just who I need, actually._ "Kiera, you take out the guards on the upper level, while Danial and I take out the guards on the lower level."

"Right." Kiera says and I look at Danial, who seems reluctant to trust me.

"Be careful, Kiera, there are civilians past the glass pane up there." I say and she gets into position. "Danial, while I use my biotics to stun the lower guards, you attack. No grenades. We need this to be quick, but no explosives. Got it?" I say and he nods.

"Got it." He says and gets into position.

"Let's get this over with." I say and we start firing. The guards at the lower level are held by my biotics as Danial takes them out one by one. I watch in silence as the bullets rip through each soldier's armor and make sure that they're dead. While we do this, I notice Kiera having little to no trouble taking out the snipers and guards on the upper level. Headshots. Messy, but highly effective. In seconds, the fight was over. "Good." I say and stand up, out of cover.

"That was amazing!" Kiera says happily and I look back to her. "We took them down so fast!"

"I guess you learn a thing or two about combat when you're a tactician." Lt. Danials says with a sly smile.

"Let's keep moving." I say, rolling my eyes as I turn around. _He makes no sense._ "We still have a bomb to disarm…and likely more guards to fight off."

"Right." Kiera and the lieutenant say together. Then, I start walking towards the building. When we get to the doorway, I notice guards holding a group of children hostage. These children look like homeless, defenseless space rats.

 _Why would they hold the bomb so close to the front of the station? Something's off._

"Stop." I whisper sharply as I hide behind the doorway. Then, I start examining the room. There are guards on all sides of the room. On the left, there are plenty of hiding spots, while on the right, there are very few. "Danial, take the left. Kiera, when I move, take this position and monitor the children. Listen for my call."

"Right." They whisper and I use my cloaking to rush in unnoticed, while Danial quickly hides behind crates. Quickly, I execute the guards completely on the right side of the room—slicing their throats, cutting into their chests, and dropping their corpses—without being noticed. As my cloaking fades, I hide behind a crate to wait for when I can reuse it. After a moment, I activate my cloak again and immediately rush up behind the last guard to kill him. I use my biotics to intensify the attack and my sword plunges into his chest. After seeing that he's dead, I drop him at my feet. All of this happened in a span of a few seconds. Then, I quickly use my barrier over the children to shield them.

"Now!" I shout and hear Danial and Kiera firing at the other guards.

"Who are you?" One of the children ask.

"My name is Jordan Knight, I'm with the Alliance. We're getting you out of here. I promise." I say as I focus on my barrier. Seconds later, I see the last guard fall. Then, I relax and release my barrier with an exhale of breath.

This reminds me of when I was a space rat. A time when I was rescued from an Alliance officer.

"You saved us. Why?" One of the children, a small drell, asks and I look back at him.

"It's important that I save everyone I can. I won't turn my back on anyone in need." I say as I relax my breath and bend down to his level. "How did you end up here?"

"They told us if we lured you here, they would pay us after they killed you…but then they set the bomb." One of the older kids, a human boy, says. It was as if my world went grey.

 _Something is definitely wrong here._

"You said…they wanted to get to me?" I ask and I feel a hand on my shoulder. Suddenly, my world is jolted back into color.

"We need to disarm that bomb, Knight!" Danial says and I hear a ticking sound.

"They strapped the bomb to the children!" Kiera shouts and I look at the bomb. It has 20 minutes left on the clock. What's worse, the guards have tied the children to it.

"Who's our bomb expert here?" I ask as Danial and Kiera look at each other. "Then, I guess it's me." I say and look closely at the bomb. The wires are exposed with a tape wire tied to it and the children. The three wires sticking out are red, blue, and green. There's one red, two blues, and three greens. _According to my training as a tactician, the only wire I should cut is the red wire._ As I decide that the red wire needs to be cut, I feel a gunshot hit me from behind. It takes my breath away, along with my shields.

"Knight!" I hear Kiera shout as I fall forward, catching myself before falling on the children. Then, I stand up and turn around. "Are you all right?" She asks as I check my surroundings. _There's a cloaked hostile somewhere in the room._

"I'm fine." I say and put a finger up to my ear to com Sargent Lay. "Sargent Lay, we've found the bomb. I'm about to attempt to disarm it."

"Understood. Is everything all right?" The Sargent asks as I put a hand over my wound.

"Everything's fine. We have everything under control, sir." I say as I notice a warped spot on a crate. "There are children here, and they will be released as soon as we disarm the bomb."

"We'll have backup ready for you if you need it." Sargent Lay says.

"Thank you, sir, but that won't be needed." I say and I take my hand away from my com, ending the call.

"Cut the single red wire. I'll take care of this one." I say and use my biotics to charge at the cloaked enemy. When I grab onto them, I push them forward against the wall behind them—leaving them breathless from shock. Then, I swing my sword up against their throat. Stopping briefly before slicing them _. I need answers_. "Who are you and why would you arm this place with a bomb?" I ask as I feel enraged. Not only did they try to bomb this place, they hit me, and nearly killed the children.

"We wanted to…purge the weak." The hostile, I recognize as a vorcha, hisses as I grip tightly onto his neck with my sword, slowly inching the blade into his neck. "Space rats are weak. We purge the weak. You are space rat. You must be purged. Janok Knight." He hisses.

"What did you call me?" I ask in an angry whisper. I was the target all along. I need answers.

"Doesn't matter! You die!" He growls and spits in my face.

"We got it. The children are safe." Danial says and I use my biotics to slam the vorcha to the distant wall to my right as my blade slices his throat. If the vorcha hadn't died from my sword, he died on impact with the wall.

"Good. Let's go." I say as I slowly calm down while I swing my sword and return it to its original place—in its holster on my back. Then, I wipe my face before raising a finger back up to my ear. "We're clear. The bomb has been disarmed and the children are safe."

"Good work." Sargent Lay says and I bend down to the little boy as I drop my hand away from my ear. I take out a small bag of credit chits and hand it to the young drell. He reminds me of someone I used to know.

"Get to someplace safe. Be careful out there." I say and the child hugs me.

"Thank you." He says and pulls away from me, then him and the other children happily run away from us. Slowly, I stand up and start walking out.

"That was awfully nice of you." Kiera says as I ignore her. _I just want to get away from this place._

"Yes, that was…unexpected." Danial says as I ignore him too. "You know, you could say something about what just happened."

"The mission is complete. What else is there to talk about?" I ask sharply as we exit the building.

"Are you all right? We saw you get shot at back there." Kira says.

"I'm fine. My shields were down for a time, but that's it. Minor scrapes is all. Nothing meti-gel won't fix." I say as I use my omni-tool to use some of my meti-gel on myself. "See? I'm a soldier. I can take care of myself."

"Yeah, but you're just a soldier. You should have the Dr. T'Soni take a look at you when we get back." Kiera says as we reach the loading area.

When we reach the Normandy, a sudden surge of pain in my head hits me and causes me to stumble forward. "Knight? What's wrong?" Kiera asks as I feel her put a hand to my back.

"You don't look too good." Danial says and I feel my body become heavy. Flashes of memory, seeing the Normandy SR-1 up close. Seeing the crew: a turian, a krogan, a quarrian, three humans, and an asari. But, they're all blurred, and I can't see their faces. Suddenly, I feel myself drop to the ground.

"Knight!" I hear Kiera shout as I start to lose consciousness.

 _What's wrong with me?_


	5. Chapter 4: Dr Liara T'Soni

**Chapter 4: Dr. Liara T'Soni**

A cold, dark silence surrounds me. No light in sight. It's eerie, but still seems peaceful. Have I died? With a thump, a steady heartbeat breaks the silence. No, I'm alive. The sound echoes as the blackness surrounding me changes. _Wait, this is the same dream from before!_

Suddenly, the blackness surrounding me bursts into a fiery red. Just as it did before. With the flames of a fire and the loudness of an explosion, I'm confronted by a new, yet familiar, scene.

Everything is on fire around me. _Again._

Through the flames, I can only see more darkness. The shadowy figures, blacker than the darkness, stand as they stare at me. _Who are they? Why am I seeing them?_

In a menacing way, these figures point at me just like how they did before. "The only one." They say in the familiar dark, ominous tone. Their eyes glow a bright red as the drumming of the heartbeat—my heartbeat—becomes the bass behind the sudden sound of an alarm. Then, the downpour of rain begins dowsing the fire.

 _It's the same as before._

While the flames dissipate within the darkness, the smoke rises from the ground up to surround the darkened figures. As if they were being swallowed by the smoke, the darkened figures fade away, leaving the eerie darkened room. _This is really weird._

Once the smoke clears, I'm able to see polished tables and computers on either side of me. Yet again, I'm standing in the middle of a science lab of sorts.

Lining the walls are the coffin-like containers. They're still darkened and barely noticeable, and the doors with windows still shows what contains them. People. Now, I can make out features. They're all different species! Each coffin-like container has a different symbol etched on its outside. A series of numbers. Brandings. Each starting with a single letter. A's, K's, H's, T's, followed with hyphenated three-digit numbers. "A" for asari, "K" for krogan, "H" for human, and "T" for turian. Although, most of the containers with a "T" etched in are empty.

 _What is this?_ I ask the darkness. My gaze moves down each container as the numbers increase in value.

I continue down this path until I reach the last lone container.

Instead of looking into the darkened window, I focus on the door. Only the branding number etched on the outside: H-990. A word, also etched on the container, is visible—but illegible. I can't read it. My vision is blurred, but only to this one word. Again. _Damnit!_

-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hours later, I start to hear voices talking all around me as I feel the coldness of the bed below my body. _They took my shirt off?_ "She was shot, but I do not believe that was the cause of her collapse." I hear Dr. T'Soni say.

"She must have overused her biotics to save those children…" I hear Kiera say.

"No. That wouldn't be possible. Biotics are trained at a young age in order to prevent that." Dr. T'Soni says.

"Look at those scars…and a tattoo…" Kiera says. _Great, and she put a emphasis on the fact that I have a tattoo_. My body is nearly covered in scars from burns and blades and gunshots. The tattoo is the grim number: H-990. "She was a space rat after all…"

"Don't assume anything…we don't know about any of this." Dr. T'Soni says as the image of the original crew of the Normandy SR-1 comes to mind again. Now, I can see faces. As I look at all of them, I notice a familiar face—Dr. T'Soni. After realizing this, I jolt as I open my eyes.

"Knight!" Kiera says as I sit up.

"Are you all right?" Dr. T'Soni asks as she looks mildly startled. "Are you in any pain?"

"No…" I say as I sit up. "…I'm fine."

"What happened to you?" Kiera asks and I look at her.

"Why did you take my…?" I say as I look down at my body. "The meti-gel healed me…why—"

"I've taken your clothes off before…if you're that concerned." Dr. T'Soni says as I remember the attack on the Goliath. My clothes were replaced with clean ones. _Oh, right. I must have missed that_. "Only, I was the only one examining you at that time. Kiera was eager to check up on you and-"

"Do all space rats have these scars and tattoos?" Kiera asks and I shake my head. The doctor rolls her eyes as she raises a hand to her face.

"No…just me." I say and look away. "I'd rather not talk about it, if that's alright."

"What does the tattoo mean? You don't have any others…" Kiera says. She's really pushing for answers I don't really have here.

"I don't know…I…please don't make me talk about it." I say and Dr. T'Soni hands me a clean shirt.

"What happened before you collapsed?" Dr. T'Soni asks, changing the subject as I pull the shirt on. Then, after the shirt is on me, I nod at her—acknowledging the change of subject was intentional.

"I just…felt tired all of a sudden…" I lie and feel Dr. T'Soni rest a hand on my shoulder. Suddenly, I hear a woman say "Liara" as I see a picture of Dr. T'Soni.

"It must have been shock from going from almost dead to fighting." Kiera says and I look at her as the memory stops.

"Yeah. That must be it." I lie and look back to Dr. T'Soni. She looks like she's trying to hide herself from looking shocked. Asari can see more than what's in front of them, right? Could she have seen what I've seen? No, she couldn't have. We've never joined our minds. _I must be imagining things._

"I should run more tests." Dr. T'Soni says as I hear Kiera and Danial stand up.

"I'll, uh, leave you two alone. Okay?" Kiera says awkwardly as I hear her leave.

"Dr. T'Soni. Are you all right?" I ask and she smiles as she looks almost lost in thought.

"I'm fine, thanks." She says as I feel that she's lying. "I don't see any signs of trauma. You can go, if you're feeling all right."

"Thank you for sticking up for me…no one's ever done that for me before." I say as I watch her facial expressions. She looks as if she's seen a ghost.

"It was nothing." She says with a small smile.

"If you say so." I say and she backs away from me. Then, I stand up. _Should I test her? Can I trust her with what I know about Commander Shepard? I want to know, since she seems to know a lot about her_. "What do you know about Commander Shepard?" I ask under my breath as I make my way to the door, stopping just before reaching it. _Damnit, Knight! What the hell are you thinking?_

"She was a hero and a friend to me and our crew." She starts. Her voice is timid, yet rigid and thoughtful. "She saved everyone she could during the war and years before that."

"She did, yet so many people would say otherwise." I say and turn to face her. She looks like she's almost repulsed at my words. "There were many people who opposed her…still, many people believe in her actions as strongly as you do."

"Of course I do!" She says as I sense her anger rising. "I was with her every step of the way. She did everything right. This galaxy saw that at one point, so why..." She says and sighs. "Why are you saying these things?"

"Commander Shepard was…an inspiration to me for many years." I explain as I contemplate on my memories starting out in Alliance training. Dr. T'Soni starts calming down as she watches me closely. "I never went to school because I never had the means to."

"You lied to us?" She asks and I smile. She looks mildly disappointed. "So, learning about the Normandy and Commander Shepard was a lie too?"

"No. I learned everything I know now on my own." I say. _Great, my secret's out. Nice one, Knight_. I shut my eyes for a moment, in frustration, and sigh as I open them again. "I would sit outside on planets I visited and read the documents I stole from libraries across the galaxy. I wanted to know more about Commander Shepard."

"That was before you joined the Alliance?" She asks and I nod. _I wonder what she's thinking about_.

"I joined the Alliance at the first chance I got so I could learn more about her…but, after years of searching for answers, I gave up on learning more about the Commander and I started living for myself for a change."

"You were already living for yourself by then. Is there a difference?"

"Yes." I say and sigh with a calm smile. _She's not angry with me_. "I stopped asking myself what Commander Shepard would do. Instead, I started asking what I would do." I say and turn around to leave. "I should…probably go now." Just as the door opens, she stops me.

"Knight." Dr. T'Soni says and I turn my head to look at her over my shoulder.

"Yes, doctor?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"No. It's nothing." She says and smiles. This time, it's a smile as if she just figured something out. Something that was too shocking to say. "We can talk more, later."

"Okay." I say and leave.

-XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Later, on the starboard observation deck, I was sitting on the couch looking out the window again. "Something interesting going on with the stars?" Lt. Danials asks as I feel him walking next to me. I didn't hear him walk in, so it nearly startled me.

"Not really." I say as I watch his reflection in the glass sit down on the couch next to me.

"So, how did this space rat end up joining the Alliance?" He says awkwardly, then he clears his throat. _Is he nervous?_ "I mean…you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." I smile to myself as I shake my head. _I guess I can tell him._

"I was rescued by an Alliance soldier fifteen years ago." I say as I start remembering the time I joined the Alliance. I was running from a slaver's client.

"Rescued? What did you do?" He asks, suspecting me of breaking the law. I look at him with a slightly angry stare before looking away.

"Remember that batarian I talked about before? Katar…he eventually sold me to slavers…Space rats tend to end up that way." I say and I feel a hand on my shoulder—just briefly. It was awkward, but a small gesture showing that he cares—well, that he's trying to anyways. "I was running from a buyer when the Alliance showed up."

"I'm sorry…I didn't know." He says and I look at him.

"It's not something you would have learned about in any school or Alliance data file." I say and notice that he looks uncomfortable.

"Why wasn't that in the reports then?" He asks and I sigh. "Isn't it standard protocol for the Alliance to keep records of each individual soldier's past? Everything ends up being recorded—usually."

 _Although I'm not obligated to tell him the full explanation, I can reassure him a little with the dumbed-down version of how it happened._

"When I finished my training, I asked Admiral Coen to destroy any record of that…incident, and any related information." I say and he smiles, as if he understands. "He was…very forgiving of my past. I asked him why…" I sigh as I smile "…he said it was because I had the resolve to become stronger. I wasn't going to let what happened in my past affect me. That's why he agreed to do what I asked."

"The Admiral is a good man, isn't he?" He says with a smile and I look away again. I quietly nod in agreement. Suddenly, I hear someone walk into the room with loud footsteps.

"What are you talking about?" I hear Kiera ask. Then, I look at her as she sits by Danial. The lieutenant looks embarrassed. As if he was caught in the act of doing something unusual.

"We weren't really talking about anything." Danial says as he clears his throat. Kiera looks at both of us. I shake my head to side with the lieutenant. Maybe I misjudged him. Ignorance isn't something you can control when you don't have the means to. It's not his fault for not knowing much about me—not that it doesn't make me angry when he assumes the worst about me. But, nonetheless, at least he tries.

"I'm sorry about earlier, in the med-bay…I didn't mean to pry." Kiera says and I feel her honesty.

"Don't worry about it…" I say with a drawn-out breath. I'm not angry, just uncomfortable.

"I wanted to ask you, Knight." Kiera says calmly. "Who trained you to control your biotics? I've never seen any biotic I know fight like you do."

"I was never formally trained." I say, honestly, and they look shocked with their jaw slightly dropped.

"Then, that's why you collapsed earlier…" Kiera says and I look out the window again.

"Maybe…but, I trained for years to control my biotics in a fight." I say as I think about the long nights I spent by myself in Alliance training, training myself. "The Alliance trainers couldn't trust me enough to train me to fight with my biotics. So, I saved using my biotics until the testing days came." I say as I remember the tests. Kiera and Lt. Danials silently listen. "When I trained, I would act as if I were using my biotics, but didn't—to try to keep the peace. You could say I learned from trial and error to control my biotics during a fight…then, one day, a burst of my biotics sent me flying. After that, I found something new to train." I say and notice the two smiling. "It wasn't too long after that when I started using my biotics in front of my superiors, and they reported me to the council. They called me a rogue biotic and tried me for being an endangerment to the Alliance."

"We know. It was in the reports." Kiera says and I look at her.

"You could have been locked up for that, stripped of your good standing, and kicked out of the Alliance forever." The lieutenant says and smiles slyly. "Was that really necessary?"

"I had to test my biotics in a real fight, somehow." I answer and he grunts with a smile. "I guess for you it would have been as if they took your rifle away and told you that you had to find a 'safer' way to fight."

"You still could have told someone before that happened." He says and I shake my head.

"They wouldn't have taken me into battle if I did that." I say and he sighs.

"I guess you have a point…" He says and I look away.

"What happened after the hearing?" Kiera asks. _Again, I can't go into too much detail, but I can manage to shorten the explanation a bit._

"After the hearing with the council, I was sent on a mission with Alliance elites to watch my every move. They wanted to test my abilities in a real fight, without risking potential Alliance officers." I say and look down. "My biotics were untrained, and unstable at best…but, we managed to complete the mission with no casualties."

"Then, the Admiral made you an official Alliance soldier." Lt. Danials says and I nod. "You graduated at the top of your class, even with all the negatives you had on your record."

"It took them months to decide if I was ready." I continue. "When I was first stationed on Goliath, it had been five years since I graduated from the Alliance training school. I had been practicing fighting with my biotics regularly and was starting my training for becoming a tactician."

"The Goliath took the bulk of the jobs in the Alliance. How did you manage to squeeze in any extra time for any kind of training?" He asks.

"I had a lot of down-time…" I explain. "The crew and other soldiers on the Goliath never really trusted me…I didn't have anyone to spend my breaks with."

"You mean, you didn't have any friends?" Kiera asks and I nod. "You know, that actually explains a lot."

"The rest of that story…you already know." I say, cutting the long story short. Danial stand up.

"You're right. We do know." He says as Kiera stands up. "We're going to bed, you should too."

"I will. Later." I say and they silently leave the room.

Minutes later, as I continue to stare at the stars, I hear someone walking in from behind me. "Miss Knight? You're still up?" I hear Dr. T'Soni's voice.

"Dr. T'Soni." I say and turn to face her as she walks further into the room.

"Remember what we talked about before?" She asks. I nod, then she sits down across from me. "What do you know about Commander Shepard?"

"She was Earthborn…and a sole-survivor of the battle on Akuze." I start as the doctor stares at me. _She's testing me now, I see_. "She joined the Alliance at 18 years old, and became the council's first human Spectre about 6 years later." I say and the doctor nods. "She defeated an indoctrinated rogue turian Spectre named Saren shortly after becoming a Spectre and saved the council when the Reaper, Soveriegn, attacked the Citadel." I continue as she nods. "Months later, she died from a collector ship attacking the Normandy SR-1." I say and she starts to look nervous. "The shadow broker stole her body and attempted to sell it to the collectors shortly after." I say and realize the name T'Soni came from the reports I dug up. "Now I know why you wanted me to talk about this…you're Dr. Liara T'Soni, aren't you?" I ask and she looks shocked.

"Although I've only been going by Dr. T'Soni for over a century now. No one calls me by my first name anymore." She says as I sense her nervousness become more intense. "Where did you get this kind of—"

" _You_ saved Commander Shepard's body from being sold to the collectors and gave it to a terrorist organization known as Cerberus so they could attempt to bring her back to life." I say and she looks away, nearly scared. This is definitely information someone would need to dig up through an information broker—which I did. "Risky, given that Cerberus was a terrorist organization only in it for themselves…" Then, I suddenly have a vision of Commander Shepard embracing Dr. T'Soni. The memory was as if it was intended to stop my anger towards the doctor. The moment was calm and had the sense of peace—forgiveness. "She forgave you…I thought…" I say as I remember reading reports that said the commander left Dr. T'Soni to fight alone with her new team of soldiers. Dr. T'Soni slowly looks back to me as I feel myself turn white.

"Miss Knight…" Dr. T'Soni says as I notice her looking at me. She looks calm, but not scared anymore. Almost like she had won a battle. "…you look pale. Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." I say and start remembering the reports I read again. "Commander Shepard…defeated the collectors by destroying their base and the Omega 4 relay. Six months later, she started gathering people to fight against the Reapers for the war." I say and Dr. T'Soni smiles. "When she was ready, she destroyed the Reapers and saved Earth—ending the war...and her own life."

"You've spent your life learning all of that?" She asks and I nod. "Why?"

"No reason…" I say and she stands up, then sits next to me.

"Spending your life to gather that kind of information has to have a reason behind it." She says and looks into my eyes. The sudden movement makes me feel uneasy. "Does it have anything to do with those visions you've been having?" She asks and I look away from her. _She knew…_ "You don't need to hide it. I sensed your visions earlier in the med-bay."

"Why do you want to know?" I ask, but I already know the answer.

"Commander Shepard was very special to me." She says and I sigh silently at the realization that she wants to probe me for answers. "If you want to keep this a secret, I will not tell anyone. You can trust me."

 _Fine. I guess I have nowhere to run if I refuse…_

"They used to be just dreams, but…since I boarded the Normandy…" I say and look at her. "…I don't have many memories of my own childhood, but I know more than most people do about Commander Shepard." I say and she puts a friendly hand on my shoulder—trying to comfort me. Instead of just a friendly hand, however, I feel and see Dr. T'Soni and Commander Shepard exchanging a promise—the commander promised she would always come back to the doctor, Liara.

Suddenly, I'm jolted back to the present—out of breath.

"Perhaps these visions you've been having…aren't a coincidence after all." Dr. T'Soni says as she stares at me, then takes her hand off me. "Salarians have the belief of the circle of life…reincarnation…maybe—" She says, suggesting that I'm the reincarnation of Commander Shepard.

"That's impossible." I say sharply and sigh as I see the doctor's shocked expression. "I'm sorry…but, I don't believe that."

"Humans had the belief of reincarnation centuries ago…" She says as I see the pain in her eyes. She must be grasping for anything in me related to the Commander—in hopes of finally being together again.

"I'm sorry…I know she was special to you, but I'm not her." I say and stand up. "I didn't mean to make you upset..."

"How long have you been experiencing these visions?" She asks and I feel her becoming calmer. Then, I feel her standing behind me and I turn to face her.

"Since before I joined the Alliance." I say and she looks into my eyes again. _Damn, and I thought I was desperate for answers._

"I see." She says. I look at the window with my as just before I have another vision of her and Commander Shepard looking at the Normandy through a glass window. "Have they always been this frequent?"

"No. Like I said, they were only dreams before…" I say as I remember a friend of mine telling me to forget about the visions, dreams, I was having.

"Maybe it has something to do with the ship…" She says and I turn away from her.

"They're just dreams." I say and see Dr. T'Soni's reflection face the window. "Maybe I just recognized the ship from my research? Yeah. That must be it."

"You must have known who I was when we first met. That kind of information is not public knowledge." She says as she looks at me. "Why try to reason it away? Why is it so hard to believe that you might have Commander Shepard's soul?" She asks and I remember all of the people telling me to forget my dreams.

"Why should I believe in such things? I don't have the right…" I say and sigh. I may have her memories, but I can't really be Commander Shepard. Even though I think this way, I can't let it affect Dr. T'Soni. It wouldn't be fair to either of us. "I'm the one who brought this up…I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You did nothing wrong." Dr. T'Soni says and I look at her.

"I had to do the research on the commander…to understand the dreams I was having." I say and look out the window again. "I told my friends about the dreams, but…they told me I was insane. They even offered to turn me in to a psych ward." I say and look down at my hands in nervousness.

"Those people don't sound like friends to me." She says and I smile.

"Yeah. It's too bad that we never said goodbye before I left to explore the galaxy on my own. I wanted answers. Proof that what I was seeing actually happened." I say and sigh. "The information I found barely scratched the surface of what I've seen. That's why I wanted to learn even more." I say and look at her. "I feel like I'm giving you false hope, doctor. I'm telling you this after saying I don't believe I share the soul of the commander. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I understand that this is important to you." She says and smiles. "Besides, I think it's interesting to hear about your experiences."

"It's been a while since I last talked with someone about this. The last time…" I say and look back at the window. "The last time I told someone about the commander, I was ambushed by a slave-trade organization. One of their agents was pretending to be friendly with me." I explain as the scene plays out in my mind. "It happened the day the Alliance saved me…When the slave traders found me, they nearly killed me. Stabbed me so I couldn't run away. If the Alliance didn't show up…" I say and sigh. "Most of my scars are from that time."

"That's horrible." Dr. T'Soni says and I look at her. She looks remorseful. "I can't imagine…"

"Don't. You shouldn't worry about that. It happened over fifteen years ago." I say stoically. "I'm over it. Besides, I've completely cut ties with my past. I'm not the same person I was."

"Are you really that different?" She says. Her words shock me. I wasn't expecting her to say that. "More knowledgeable, maybe, but you are still you." She says and I feel a hand on my shoulder. "A simple erase of those records only means that no one but you will know what happened. I can tell you are strong, but you can never forget those times…you can only forgive them."

"You may be right…" I say and smile at her. I feel calmer. For the first time since boarding the Normandy, I'm glad that I'm here. "Thank you for talking with me." I say and she lowers her hand as she smiles back. "I guess joining the crew of the Normandy was a good thing after all." I say and give her a small smile.

"Was there ever any doubt?" She asks and I start walking to the door.

"You could say that." I say as I feel her walking behind me. Then, I stop as I reach the door. "At least there's one person I can trust…"

"Maybe we could be friends?" She asks and I turn to face her.

"I haven't had a friend since…" I say and stop myself from ruining the moment with sadness. "I would like that, Dr. T'Soni." I say and her calm smile widens slightly.

"Good." She says as I remember the dreams I had as a teenager. I used to wake up saying "Liara". My space rat friends used to laugh at me telling me stories about how I was calling for a Liara, as if she were a girlfriend of mine.

"Goodnight, doctor." I say and turn around.

"Goodnight, Miss Knight." She says and I start walking away.

As I walk to the door to the crew quarters, I whisper to myself, "So, you were Liara."


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N:** I've decided to just post the whole story I've written. However, it's going to feel unfinished and rushed. I'll be honest, I've been debating on whether or not I should do this. If anyone wants to pick up the pieces and fill in the blanks or use this as inspiration for your own story, you're more than welcome to do so.

From here, there won't be any clever titles for chapters as my heart is no longer in this story. I'm hoping that posting this will free my mind from worrying over leaving something released but incomplete. This way, I can focus on my other stories and a special story I've been working on for the past year. I wrote this story 3 years ago, it needs to rest.

As always, I hope you enjoy!

-Eddy

 **Chapter 5**

This past mission, I felt my biotics become nearly uncontrollable. It worries me, since I don't want to end up hurting someone. The last time something like this has happened, I was on a mission with Admiral Coen and his crew. My biotic implant was damaged during a fight and nearly killed me. My implant couldn't be fixed, but the damage was minimal and it never really bothered me after the fact. However, every now and then, I get flare-ups like this. It usually only happens if I'm hit during a fight. Since I was hit, this flare-up is no surprise to me. I'm just not looking forward to having to tell the crew about my damaged implant. The reason it can't be repaired is because it's the only one like it. No one has the practice to completely repair it. Not even a biotics expert like Dr. T'Soni.

As I think about this, I'm standing next to the window on the observation deck. While I'm deep in thought, I feel a strong burning in my chest. The burn causes me to cough as I bend over, in pain. As I catch the cough with my hand, I feel a wetness in my hand. Slowly, I look at my hand—nearly covered in blood. My vision starts to blur as I begin to panic. My body begins to feel as if it were on fire as I continue to cough. Shit! I feel like I'm about to pass out. Suddenly, I feel my body drop to the ground.

"Knight?" I hear Danial ask as he walks into the room—I stop coughing for a second. He hasn't seen me on the ground yet. Then, I start coughing up more blood and gasping for air as I feel like I can barely breathe. "Knight!" Danial shouts as he sees me. I feel him run up to me. Then, as he bends down to me, he raises a hand to his com. "Doctor! Knight's hurt! I'm bringing her to you!" He says and I feel him pick me up, cradling me like a child.

As Danial rushes me down the hall, I see Kiera see me. "Knight!" She shouts as she follows close behind Danial. I feel myself cough, yet again, and see Danial look almost scared for me. Without realizing it, I grip onto Danial's shoulder and rest my forehead on his chest as the burning in my chest continues to become more intense. "What happened?" Kiera asks, frantically trying to get my attention.

"Kiera…Danial…" I say and cough again. "I'm…sorry."

"You're going to be all right." Danial says as he holds me tighter. "We're almost there."

"What happened?" I hear Dr. T'Soni ask as Danial slowly lays me down on a bed.

"I found her coughing up blood." Danial starts to explain as I feel an oxygen mask being put on my face. "She was collapsed…I don't know what happened."

"She was hit pretty hard during our last mission, but…I didn't think she would be hurt this bad." Kiera says as I study everyone.

"Where was she hit?" The doctor asks as she looks anxious. Did the Admiral tell her about my implant?

"She stepped in front of me…her chest was hit." Kiera says and Dr. T'Soni looks at me.

"Admiral Coen gave me the information on your biotic implant." She says as I look up at her. "You should have told me what happened sooner."

"Wait. The Admiral knew about this?" Danial asks and I look at him. "I thought the Alliance would fix something like that." He says and I slowly shake my head. Then, he looks angrier. "They wouldn't just leave her with a faulty implant, would they?"

"Danial. That's enough!" Dr. T'Soni says sharply as I feel like I'm losing consciousness. "I need you both to leave."

"Yes, ma'am." Danial says and looks at me.

"Danial…" Kiera says as she pulls Danial away from me. "…we have to go now." She says and walks Danial out of the room.

"Knight, are you in pain?" Dr. T'Soni asks as I look up at her. "Try to stay awake."

"I'm…fine." I lie as it feels harder to get the words out. "I'm…just…tired."

"Don't sleep just yet." She says as I see her gathering something. Then, she turns back towards me. "Stay calm, Knight." She says as I see her pull out a syringe. Then, I feel the needle enter my skin. "That's the first one…" She says and picks up another syringe. "Why did you let yourself get like this?"

"I couldn't…find the right time…" I say and feel something metal touch the outside of my chest. "I'm sorry, Liara." I say as I see her worried face. This metal device is what they used the last time my implant needed to be treated. It's a repairing device made for biotics with similar implants like mine. My implant is in between my heart and lungs. Any kind of impact hard enough on my chest would damage my organs, but not kill me. As I think about this, my vision starts fading.

Then, I feel a shock—just before everything goes black.

"She's going to be all right, isn't she?" I hear Danial ask as I feel myself waking up. My chest still hurts, but not as bad as it was before. "She was acting like she was in a lot of pain earlier."

"She should be fine now." Dr. T'Soni reassures him.

"I mean…she was coughing up blood." Danial continues as I open my eyes. I'm still wearing the oxygen mask. "Don't tell me you're not worried."

"Of course I am…" Dr. T'Soni says and I raise a hand to look at it. There's a needle in my skin. "…she should be the one to tell us if she's in pain." She continues. The needle in my arm is connected to some kind of tube. An IV drip? No, it's a blood transfusion. "Knight. You're awake."

"You've been out for a while." Danial says as he looks at me. Then, the doctor grabs my hand.

"Why would you take the hit for me, knowing you would end up like this?" Kiera asks as I notice her standing behind Danial. For a moment, I study their expressions. They all look worried. What should I say?

"Please, talk to us." Dr. T'Soni says and I look up at her.

"I didn't want you to feel bad for me." I say and they look sad. "I'm just a space rat. I'm expendable."

"Now is not the time to remind me." Danial says and I look at him. "Even if you're a space rat, you're a human being—a person."

"Don't throw your life away just because of your past." Kiera says and I feel the doctor lay my hand down.

"You are a valuable part of this crew, Knight." Dr. T'Soni says and I look back up to her. "You can tell us if something is bothering you. Mentally or physically."

"I understand." I say with a sigh. "I'm sorry for putting you all through this."

"What happened when you first got your implant damaged?" Kiera asks and I look at her.

"A yahg attacked me." I say and she crosses her arms.

"You mean Tack?" She asks and I give her a small smile.

"Yes." I say, bluntly as I remember telling Kiera that I got everyone out safely.

"I thought you said you got everyone out safely?" She says.

"Not everyone, it seems." The doctor says and I nod.

"I did what I could." I say and notice the doctor and Danial both crossing their arms. "The crew was more important than me. Besides, I lived through it. And I'd do it again."

"You don't really believe that the crew was more important than your own life. Do you?" Dr. T'Soni asks.

"I do." I say and feel a hand squeeze my arm slightly. "When I signed with the Alliance, I promised I would give myself to the Alliance. Even as a tactician, it's my duty to keep the squad safe. At any cost."

"The Admiral didn't save your life all those years ago for you to die from being sucker-punched by a yahg." Danial says and I smile.

"It's actually the complete opposite." I say as remember when the Admiral handed me the contract to sign. "He ordered me to give my life, if needed, in order to protect the crew."

"That's crazy! The Admiral would never do that!" Kiera says, angrily. "We're all soldiers, we know the risks going into every mission. Why would he put everyone's safety on your shoulders?"

"With my shady past, I was lucky he even agreed to me joining the Alliance." I explain as they look worried. I've never spoken about myself this way before. "The contract I had to sign took away all of my personal freedoms. That was the day I went from a space rat to a soldier."

"I signed that contract too. The whole 'sacrifice yourself for every crew member' thing wasn't a part of it." Danial says and I shake my head.

"You could say that I was a special case. The council had to get involved." I say and they look confused.

"Why?" Dr. T'Soni asks. "The council usually doesn't interfere with the Alliance's authority and personal affairs."

"Non-military space rats like me aren't given many freedoms to begin with." I start. "Regardless of the species of the space rat, the council will intervene if the space rat wants to be involved with military alliances." I explain and sigh. "The council claims all responsibility and sets specific terms for the alliance to be formed. There's a hearing, and then a release—either back into space or to the military alliance in question."

"I never knew that." Danial says as I notice that he looks uncomfortable.

"That doesn't explain why the Admiral would command you to give your life for the safety of any crew." Kiera says and I nod.

"I'm sorry, but I can't say why." I say. "The council forbids me from discussing the terms of the contract. They even told me how to tell you all that…I'm sorry."

"Fine. We understand." Danial says sharply and bitterly before he starts storming out.

"That's why I stay in contact with the Admiral. He instructs me, in place of the council." I say as Danial leaves the room. "I'm sorry for keeping quiet about all of this. I wasn't sure I should tell you." I say and look at Dr. T'Soni. She seems deep in thought.

"When we dock at our next mission location, you're staying here. On the ship." Dr. T'Soni says and backs away from me. Then, I try to sit up, but my chest pain stops me. "You need to stay here and rest. This is more important than the mission. We need you alive, Knight."

"I agree." Kiera says and I sigh.

"You can't just leave me up here." I say as I feel my anger rise.

"That's an order!" Dr. T'Soni says, almost angry.

"The doctor is the commanding officer here, Knight." Kiera says and I look away. "Besides, I bet you can't even sit up yet."

"Fine. I understand." I say and notice the doctor leaving with Kiera.

After hours of lying in the med-bay alone, I stand up to walk around. As I stand, I feel a slight pain in my chest. It's not too bad and I'm not having any trouble breathing. So far, anyway. Dr. T'Soni did a better job of healing me, compared to the Alliance doctors the Admiral hired to heal me the last time this happened.

She's a good friend, isn't she?

As I slowly walk out of the med-bay, I don't see Kiera or Danial in their usual spot. Did they leave already? It's only been a few hours since they last spoke to me.

As I think about searching for them, I remember that I haven't toured the ship since I got here. So, I start walking towards a door. It seems like some kind of office. "He sent a sick soldier to a suicide mission?" I hear someone, a man, shout. It's muffled, so I can't tell whose yelling. "Not to mention he stationed her on an alien frigate?" Whoever it is, they seem to be talking about me. "Not even a quarter of that crew were human! No wonder she had no friends!"

"The Goliath had a formidable crew. Very intelligent." I hear Dr. T'Soni say and back away from the door. "Still, it is…disheartening to know how the crew felt about her presence."

"She told me about some of her time before becoming a soldier." The man says. Wait, that's Danial! "What she's been through…it's no wonder she's the way she is."

"What do you mean?" Dr. T'Soni asks as I remember that I've only talked to her about Commander Shepard. I've never told her much about my past.

"I'm surprised she's been friendly with you, doctor." Danial says as I remember what I told him. "The asari on the Goliath weren't very friendly…and that was most of the crew."

"What do you mean?" Dr. T'Soni asks as I start to feel nervous.

"Knight was a slave before she joined the Alliance." Danial says and sighs. "It wasn't just the asari…even the turians asked her for…personal favors."

"I don't think I understand." The doctor says and I smile for a second as I turn around. I thought I told Danial not to talk about it to anyone. It figures. This is the Alliance.

"Sex, doctor. It was all about sex." Danial says as I start walking away. I don't need to hear this.

"That's horrible." I hear the doctor say as I walk away.

Once I make my way to the starboard observation deck, I sit on the couch to stare out the window. Maybe I shouldn't be so open with them anymore. Even Dr. T'Soni.

Minutes pass as I stare out the window. "Knight." Dr. T'Soni says as I see her walk into the room from the reflection in the glass. "You weren't in the med-bay…" She says as she walks up to me. "You should lay down. I know you must be tired."

"No…I just want to look at the stars." I say and she sits next to me.

"Is there something on your mind?" She asks and I sigh.

"A few things, yes." I say and focus on the stars.

"Anything you want to talk about?" She asks.

"I was just thinking about how Danial can't seem to keep a secret." I say and notice her shocked expression in the reflection on the glass. "I overheard you two…I'm sorry."

"You were a slave?" She says and I look at her.

"I guess I had two reasons for joining the Alliance." I say and notice the doctor becoming nervous. "And two reasons for my records being erased."

"Knight, I'm sorry…" She says and I look away.

"No. Don't be." I say as I look at the stars again. "I shouldn't have told Danial about that…"

"Are you afraid of me?" She asks.

"No." I say and hold my hands together. "Are you scared of me?"

"No." She says as I see her smiling in the reflection in the glass. "I'm scared for you."

"Why?" I ask, shocked, as I look at her. No one has said that to me before now.

"You're reckless, throwing yourself towards danger at the first sight of it. Then, like now, you lie. It's like you're trying to protect someone from knowing who you are." She says and I smile with a soft sigh. "Who are you trying to protect? What are you fighting for?"

"No one in particular." I say, honestly. "I don't want my past to catch up to me…maybe that's why." I say and she looks uncomfortable. After seeing that, I turn to look at the stars again. "I won't let my past define who I am. Still…"

"Are you saying that you fight the way you do because you feel it's necessary?" The doctor says and I nod.

As I sit in the cargo hold, trying to hide away from everyone, I think about my trust in the crew. During this past mission, everyone casted me aside. Even Dr. T'Soni. Even if it was to protect me, I'm a soldier. It's my duty and my job to fight with the team on the battlefield. Instead, they left me behind. They said it was more important for me to stay on the ship while they finish the mission. Even if they said "it's for the best", I can handle myself during a fight. Even if I'm injured, I'm a soldier, I can take the pain. The Alliance didn't train me to stay idle.

"Knight?" I hear a familiar voice call. "Knight, where are you?" It's Dr. T'Soni. Quickly, I activate my stealth skill, cloaking me from being seen. "Knight…" I hear her say and she sighs. "…I know you're in here somewhere." She says as I feel her walking around the room. "I'm sorry for taking you off the mission, but you needed the rest." She says as she continues to walk around the room. I slowly walk out of eyesight as my stealth skill continues to stay activated. She still can't see me. "Please, Knight. Come out and talk to me." She says as this catches me off guard. She didn't seem interested last time. As soon as she heard about the mission, she shut me out. As I think about this, my cloak fails and I hear footsteps coming towards me. "I know you're angry, but I want you to at least listen to what I have to say." She says as she walks in front of me. Quietly, I study her as she stands in front of me. Can I really trust her? "You may not trust the crew, or me, just yet. But, we all trust you." She says and I lean against the crate behind me. "That's why we left you on the ship, Knight. You have been fighting non-stop since you boarded the Normandy. Even though you weren't with us during this mission, it doesn't mean that we did that to spite you."

"That's not true." I say and feel my body light up. "I'm a soldier. I was trained to handle any situation."

"Perhaps. But, even a soldier can become so stressed that it threatens their health." She says and reaches out to me. This motion causes me to think back to my time as a space rat. In my mind, the doctor's hand was an Alliance trainer about to hit me. As soon as I make the connection—which was instantly—I flinch. "Knight?" She asks and I realize that she was just trying to comfort me.

"I'm…sorry." I say and stand up straighter.

"Knight, I'm worried about you." She says as she looks into my eyes. "What's really bothering you?"

"The Alliance has been very good to me these past fifteen years…but…" I say and cross my arms. "During my training to become a soldier, the Alliance trainers abused their powers…and they turned on me." I explain as I think about it. "Admiral Coen was the only one to step in and help me. He even invited me to join his crew…but it didn't work out." I continue as I notice the doctor look sad. "When his crew found out about me being a space rat, a few of the crewmen tried to—they tried to throw me out the airlock into dark space." I say as I remember the Admiral stepping in to save me.

"The crew of the Normandy aren't like that." She says and I nod. "None of us will do that to you."

"Yes…I know." I say as I continue to think about what happened. "The Admiral saw what was happening on his ship and immediately stationed me on the Goliath. Nearly half of that crew were asari. The other half were turian or human. Still, I never really got close enough to call anyone on the Goliath a friend. But, I felt safe." I say and sigh. "When the krogan came…I couldn't protect the people I worked with. It was my duty to die for them, and I couldn't even do that. I felt like I betrayed them just as so many people betrayed me."

"I didn't know. I'm so sorry, Knight." She says and I calm my biotics.

"It's not your fault." I say and sigh. "This is my first nearly all-human crew I've been a part of since I was a part the Admiral's crew. It was comforting for me to be around other aliens."

"You're more comfortable around non-humans?" She asks, shocked. Then I smile.

"Yes." I say and think about my time as a space rat. "Humans tend to think all space rats are criminals, but more non-humans generally don't have strong opinions for or against space rats. Except turians. They tend to side with the humans who oppose space rats' lifestyles." I explain. "Besides, I was friends with non-humans way before I met another human. Because of that, humans seem so…intimidating to me."

"I never knew that about you." She says and I relax my arms. "Were you the only human with those friends of yours?"

"Yes. Not many humans become space rats at all." I say. "Most humans who have no families or a home to go back to just stay homeless or become merchants, but I wanted to see the galaxy. That's what makes me a space rat. That's why so many humans are…convinced I'm just a criminal."

"That doesn't sound like a criminal to me." She says and I nod.

"Most non-humans understand that space rats do what they have to in order to survive." I say feel myself become somewhat nervous. I don't think I've actually explained what my life was like before now. "Humans see what we do and call it criminal, because that's what it looks like at a glance. They see us stealing from people and assume we do it as petty thieves would. They see us fighting other people and assume we started it." I say and sigh again. "Because I'm human, other humans tend to put pressure on me to change my lifestyle. But, that's impossible. I don't regret choosing to be a space rat."

"How old were you when you first became a space rat?" She asks as I notice that she's genuinely curious.

"I was around…ten years old?" I ask myself as I try to think about my age. "I have hardly any memories from before I became a space rat. So, I'm guessing that I was around ten years old when I started." I say and cross my arms. Why does the doctor want to know all of this? "Look, I can see what you're trying to do here. You're trying to get me to vent my feelings to you."

"So far, it's been working." She says and smiles as she gives a small laugh.

"I guess it has." I say and give her a small smile. "I've never actually told anyone anything I just told you." I say and she looks into my eyes. "It's been something I couldn't tell anyone I've known." I say and uncross my arms as I step slightly closer to her. "I'm glad I finally told someone. Thank you, doctor. You are a really good friend to me." I say and she steps back, looking shocked. "Thank you for talking with me." I say and turn to walk away.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

As I sit in front of the window in the starboard observation deck, I think about the progress I've made since joining the crew of the Normandy. I've made some interesting friends—not that I haven't before. This time, I can honestly say that I trust them—something I thought would be impossible at first. Even though we've had our share of misunderstandings, we're all friends. That's more than what I was expecting.

"Are you thinking about something?" Dr. T'Soni asks as she walks into the room from behind me.

"Nothing too dramatic this time, I promise." I say, joking. "I was thinking about the people I've come to know since joining the crew."

"I see." She says and sits next to me.

"I thought you had work to do." I say, referring to when she told me she needed to be alone. "Is there something on your mind?"

"Nothing in particular…" She says as I sense her nervousness. "…I just thought I'd come to sit with you."

"Watching the stars is pretty boring. Are you sure?" I ask and look at her. She smiles.

"Watching the stars seems quite comfortable." She says and I smile.

"It is." I say and look out the window again.

"What do you think about when you look at the stars?" She says, sounding curious.

"I think about how those stars would look on other worlds. Looking up at the stars instead of looking directly at them." I say as I remember when I was a teenager, seeing the stars from planets with no clouds. Then, seeing the stars from planets with clouds. "No matter what bad things happen to me, even if I lose in a fight…somehow, I know I will never lose the stars. They will always be there with me. It gives me a sense of peace."

"I think I understand." She says and I see her smile through the reflection in the glass of the window. "No matter how much you think you've lost, you'll always have the stars."

"Exactly." I say and smile as I focus on the stars.

Minutes pass as we watch the stars together. The stars glisten in the darkness of space they are surrounded by. As I look at the stars, the sight fills me with warmth. It truly is peaceful.

The room was dead silent, until the doctor broke that silence. From the reflection in the window, I notice her looking at me. Has she been staring at me this entire time? "Knight? May I ask you something?" She asks and I look at her.

"What is it?" I ask and see the nervousness in her face. "Is something wrong?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Doctor?"

"Are you…scared of me?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No. I'm not scared of you." I say, bluntly, then she looks into my eyes. "Why? Are you worried—" I say and she interrupts me.

"Would you be scared if I told you I wanted to be more than friends with you?" She asks and I feel my heart beat a bit faster. "You are very special to me, Knight."

With a stutter, I say, "I don't think I understand," and she raises a hand to my face. She slowly strokes the side of my face and, as her face moves in closer to mine, I feel her fingers brush though my hair. Then, slowly, I feel her lips on mine. I'm instantly frozen in shock. After a moment, she backs away slightly. Her forehead gently rests against mine as she stares into my eyes.

In a near whisper, she says, "I meant like that," and I feel as though my heart might jump out of chest from nervousness; while I feel my face becoming warmer.

Again with a stutter, I say, "I…see," and she moves her hand from the side of my face to my shoulder. She slowly pulls her face away from mine. "I'm sorry…I…" I say and she pulls farther away from me. Then, I stand up—silently still in shock. She stands up with me as I walk to the end of the room. Then, she grabs my arm—stopping me from leaving.

"Knight, please…" She says and I turn back around to face her. With her eyes widened, she looks nervous—scared even. "Tell me what you're thinking about." She says as I sense her anxiousness. Her widened deep blue eyes pierce through my chest as I stare into them. My heart skips a beat. Then, I feel myself back up into a wall. I must have been backing away without realizing it.

With nervousness obvious in my voice, I say, "I don't know…what to think…," and she walks close enough to kiss me again. "How long…have you felt this way?" I hear myself ask and she gives me a small, nervous, smile. The drumming of my heartbeat drowns out all feeling in my body.

"I have enjoyed our conversations about your past, and mine." She says as I feel my heart beat faster. Racing. Drumming. "At first, I was intrigued by your knowledge of Shepard, but that has changed." She says as I feel her hands on my arms. Gentle, warm hands glide on my arms. "You became one of my interests, something I found myself thinking about more than I should."

"Oh, really? I'm that interesting?" I hear myself joke. Then, I feel my face become warmer at the thought of how I said that. The unintentional meaning behind those words is embarrassing. Her eyes become calmer—stronger. "I'm sorry…that came out wrong…" I say quickly, now vocally embarrassed. I feel her warm hands glide up to my face.

"No. Don't be sorry. You are very special to me." She says and kisses me again. This time, it was longer—more passionate. Her warm, calm lips caress my own as I welcome their embrace. My heart is still racing, but I slowly become calmer. Then, after a moment, she slowly pulls back from me. "Knight, I'm in love with you." She says and my mind goes blank. She said "love". A word that seems so foreign to me. As the word repeats in my mind, I feel myself raise a hand to one of the doctor's hands that is still rested on my face. "Knight?" She asks as I pull her hand away from my face with a slightly shaken hand.

I can't do this. Shepard loved Liara. I can't claim that for myself. Besides, Liara more than likely still loves Shepard—even after these 300 years of them being apart. She needs someone better than me. Someone who can give her warmth.

That's not me.

"Doctor…I…" I say and she slowly backs away from me with widened, worried, eyes. "I'm sorry…I can't…" I say and sigh. "I can't return your feelings. It wouldn't be right."

"Can't or won't?" She asks and I see that she's frustrated. Her eyes pierce my heart again as they seem stronger. Less timid. "And it does not need to be right. That's not how love is."

"When you look at me, you see Shepard. Not me." I say and she looks surprised. No. That's not what I meant either.

"That's not it!" She says and reaches out to me. "Knight, I—"

I interrupt. "No." I say, sharply, and turn to walk away.

"Wait!" She says with a nervous, shaking voice as I feel a hand on my arm. Then, I stop walking. "Knight, please listen…"

"Not now." I say and she hesitantly lets go of my arm. "I'm sorry, doctor. We can't do this." The words, as I say them, burn like acid in my throat. My heart sinks as I hear the doctor's weary sigh. Slowly, with shaking limbs, I walk away.

The next day, as I approach the air lock for the next mission, I notice Dr. T'Soni waiting with Kiera and Danial. "Knight, are you ready?" Kiera asks and I nod. I'm still nervous after what happened between the doctor and I. "You seem quieter than usual."

"No, I'm fine." I say and notice Dr. T'Soni looking like she's in a daze. She's probably thinking about what happened between us—just like I am. I don't want her to be sad, but this is how it has to be. "Where's Sargent Lay? I need to speak with him." I ask and Danial points to the pilot room. "Thanks." I say and walk to the pilot. Admiral Coen told me that this mission would put me on the front lines against a suspicious mercenary group. He mentioned that Sargent Lay knows about the mercenary group. I'm supposed to gather intel and relay it to the Admiral after the mission is complete.

"Ah, good!" Sargent Lay says as he sees me. "Admiral Coen told me you would come speak to me. Have you been briefed?"

"Yes, sir." I say and stand at attention. "Admiral Coen told me you knew about this mercenary group and what they're after."

"That is correct." He says and he looks angry. "I'm impressed, Knight. You managed to stay on the Normandy this long."

"Sir?" I ask, confused.

"Don't kid yourself. I know that you were acquainted with these mercenaries." He says and takes out a gun, pointing it at me.

"Sargent?" The pilot asks and I raise my hands.

"Tell me everything you know, space rat!" He says loudly, spatting out the words "space rat", and I hear people walking behind me.

"I don't understand, sir." I say and he laughs.

"Sargent Lay, stand down." Danial says as I hear him and Kiera aim their guns at the Sargent.

"Admiral Coen instructed me to come to you for answers, sir." I say and sigh. "Which mercenary group is it?"

"The Blue Suns Resurrection." Sargent Lay says as he continues to point his gun at me. "I heard you were a part of their group. It's just like a space rat to join up with criminals."

"That's out of line!" Kiera says, angrily. Sadly, what the Sargent is saying is true. I was working for them before they handed me over to slavers.

"That was seventeen years ago, Sargent. I'm not associated with them anymore." I say as I look into his eyes.

"So, it was true." Sargent Lay says as smiles slyly. Then, I remember when I was with the Blue Suns Resurrection. It seemed just like odd jobs. It helped me make a living, but it wasn't always a good thing. I've killed people for money. "You were one of their highest paid mercenaries."

"Knight? What is he talking about?" Danial asks and I sigh.

"I was working as a mercenary for five years." I say, honestly, as I feel like I've been put on trial. "The mercenary group just happened to be the Blue Suns Resurrection."

"When we get down there, you're going to take the front." Sargent Lay says and relaxes his hand, lowering his gun.

"But, Knight's a biotic. She's not a foot soldier." Danial says as I hear him and Kiera lower their weapons.

"She's trained in close combat situations. She'll be fine." Sargent Lay says as I put my hands down. "Besides, I'm sure she would want to talk to the man in charge of the group. A man named Roaran."

"Roaran…" I say as I remember him. He's the one who sold me to batarian slavers sixteen years ago. As far as I can remember, Roaran was killed by the Alliance when they rescued me. "I thought he died…"

"No. Apparently not." Sargent Lay says, sharply. "Too bad I won't have the pleasure of killing him myself. You will be doing that." He says and I stand at attention again.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Kiera says as she sounds worried. "Why are you being this way, Sargent?"

"Knight was responsible for killing my half-brother twenty years ago. Roaran was her leader." Sargent Lay says. "But, it looks like Knight wants revenge as well, so…I'll leave this to her."

"Yes, sir." I say as I think about it.

"Now, get to the shuttle." Sargent Lay commands. "I'll keep in touch."

When we reach the shuttle, I feel a hand on my shoulder. "Knight…" Danial says and I notice Dr. T'Soni's worried face. "…is Roaran-?"

"Roaran sold me into slavery over fifteen years ago." I say and turn to face him.

"I thought so…" Danial says and I see Dr. T'Soni walk to us.

"Be careful." She says and I nod.

"Don't worry about me, Dr. T'Soni." I say and turn to walk onto the shuttle.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Remember when I said that things would feel rushed and unfinished…yeah, this is a great example of that. Knight starting a relationship with Liara. I wasn't that good at writing romance at this time as this was the first real "romance" story I wrote.

Also, note the large gap in between the last chapter and this one. I couldn't figure out how to continue where that one left off, but I will say that I imagined Knight literally pulling Roaran apart—so he's assumed dead at this point. I couldn't figure out where to go from there, so I used the power of time-skip magic to get to this point in the story.

-Eddy

 **Chapter 7**

Dr. T'Soni called me to her cabin. I have no idea why. I turned her confession down. What's going on with her? She's told me before that she believes I have the soul of Commander Shepard, her past lover and best friend. I can't say that I haven't thought of the idea of us being together, but not if she's only wanting to be closer to her past lover. This has to be for us, not her and Commander Shepard.

As I near the door, I hear shuffling from inside the cabin. What is she doing in there? As I listen in, I rest my back to the wall across from the door. "She's taking a while to get here, Glyph. Do you think…?" I hear her ask Glyph. "She probably hates me."

"Doctor. There is not a clear reason why she would not show." Glyph says, almost as if it's trying to comfort her.

"She does not trust me, Glyph." Dr. T'Soni says. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No. According to Miss Knight's record, she has a history of distrusting others." Glyph says. It's right. I do tend to not want to trust others, but I trust Liara—I mean, Dr. T'Soni. "Judging from these facts, it must not be just you whom she distrusts." It says and I stand up from the wall and knock on the door.

"Doctor? It's Knight." I say as I feel my heart beating faster. I'm nervous. Suddenly, the door opens to a relieved Dr. T'Soni.

"Come in." She says with a shy smile. After I walk in, I hear the door closes behind us as I look around the room. The room is well cared for and there are several monitors stationed around the room. As I'm looking at everything, I feel Dr. T'Soni watching me.

"You're…well equipped, I see." I say and look at her. "You must be constantly working…with all of these monitors everywhere."

"It's my job to stay well informed." She says and motions for me to sit down.

"You wanted to talk?" I ask and we sit across from each other. With her on a chair and me on the couch.

"I wanted to apologize for last time…I didn't mean to scare you like that." She says, referring to her confession and me running away. "If you don't feel the same way…I'll understand."

"I don't even know who I am…how am I supposed to know that you really like me for me?" I feel myself ask. "As far as I know, you didn't have an interest in me until after I started talking with you about my visions."

"It's not like that!" She says with a worried expression. "You are very special to me, and it has nothing to do with Shepard…" She says and sighs. "I was being completely honest."

"Were you?" I ask as I feel my biotics starting to come out, but I stop it quickly. "I don't know…I've never been loved…I've never felt love before. I don't even know if what I feel for you is friendship…or more."

"That…actually explains a lot." She says as I sense her relief.

"I can't be your Commander Shepard, doctor." I say and she puts a hand on my knee as she looks into my eyes. "We are two completely different people."

"I know." She says and sits closer to me. "You may have her soul, but you are you. That's okay with me." She says and hugs me. Instantly, I feel as if my heart could jump out of my chest in nervousness. "Is it all right…to give it a try, at least?" She asks as I feel her rubbing my back slightly. It's not as uncomfortable as I thought it would be.

"I think so…" I say and she pulls away from me to kiss me. As we kiss, I feel her nervousness. Or, is it my own? Suddenly, I feel my biotics trying to come through, but they stop as I feel the doctor's calm hands holding the back of my head and upper back. Then, she slowly pulls back from me. "Doctor?"

"You don't need to call me that, Knight." She says with a warm smile and I feel my face turn red. "When it's just us two, you can call me Liara."

"Right…Liara…" I say and she kisses me again. It was passionate, and I think I liked it. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, I felt at peace.

After hours of just sitting next to each other and talking like we usually do, I left. Just before leaving, Liara hugs me. "I'm glad we had the chance to talk, Knight."

"Me too. It was…nice." I say and we pull away from each other. "Thank you…goodnight, Liara." I say with a smile and turn to walk to the elevator.

"Goodnight." She says with a smile as the elevator doors close. Maybe being loved isn't as scary as I thought it would be. Maybe, in time, I'll come to understand my feelings for Liara.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N:** This was an attempt at bringing in some OCs from Knight's past. The Drell writing doesn't work as well as I thought it did at the time, so be prepared. Many mistakes ahead.

Also, this was meant to be a "filler" chapter so it doesn't do much for the story and we'll see that further down the line.

-Eddy

 **Chapter 8**

It was my first time at the Citadel. As we walked the streets, I could feel people watching us as we passed by them. It looked peaceful, bright, and extremely artificial. In the great scheme of things, I knew there was more than meets the eye to this place.

Suddenly, after we pass what looks like a statue of a mass relay, a pain hits my head. Instantly, I raise a hand to my head. The vision of the statue glowing fills my mind. Then, I see a turian—grey with technology intertwined with his body—Saren. "Knight?" Dr. T'Soni asks and I quickly look at her. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." I lie as the vision becomes longer and more intense. I see Saren raise a gun to his jaw and shoot. He falls as I watch him drop. I feel the sudden warmth of someone's hand on my shoulder and gasp.

"What's going on?" Danial asks as I notice that he's the one holding my shoulder.

"Nothing…" I say and shake his hand off. "You startled me."

"I was standing here the entire time." He says and I turn to continue walking.

"I was just thinking about how this is my first time here." I say and hear someone sigh.

"You're a space rat, yet you never came here?" Kiera asks.

"And put myself in front of officers looking to arrest me?" I ask as I look around me. The place is guarded by many officers. "I didn't always follow the laws of the galaxy, remember?"

"But, you spoke to the council, didn't you?" Danial asks and I smile.

"In a com room on Admiral Coen's private vessel." I say as I start noticing small groups of people held together. Is that normal? "Strange…that seems like—" I say and notice the horrible reality in front of me. I stand still. They are space rats. I never expected to see space rats on the Citadel. I guess a lot has changed in these past fifteen years.

"Knight…" Dr. T'Soni says as she walks next to me. "What's wrong?" She asks as I continue examining the groups. They're separated by age group.

"Those…those are space rats." I say, hesitantly as I see the children, the teenagers, and adults sharing what little they had. Passing credit chits, bits of food, and clothes. This must be their resource stop.

"What?" Danial asks as he stares at the groups of people. "Those don't look like space rats to me."

"Of course not, Danial." I say and look at him. "They're people. Not criminals." I say and look back at the space rats. "This is what a 'true' space rat looks like. Homeless. They travel because they don't have the luxuries to stay in one place for too long." I say and sigh as I see that these people are all aliens—not human. "I wasn't like them…too human."

"Being human gave you trouble?" Danial asks, skeptically.

"More than you would care to understand." I say and continue walking. "You can thank Commander Shepard for that." I say without emotion and realize the bitterness of those words.

"What does Commander Shepard have to do with this?" Dr. T'Soni asks, bitterly.

"Tell me, then: do you see any humans among these people, doctor?" I ask back, matching her bitterness.

"No." She says and I stop.

"Any guesses why?" I ask as I remember my time as a space rat. Ten years of being tormented with the idea of being privileged with the "convenience of being human". Human space rats were hard to understand because, even if they were homeless, they were still offered the chance to make a living. Get a house, start a family, have a good life. It was all bullshit to me, though. That didn't sound like "true" peace to me. It seemed too fake. Too idealistic.

Then, I look back at my group. "Well?"

"Humans are intimidating?" Dr. T'Soni guesses and I shake my head.

"Not quite." I say sharply.

"Humans aren't very friendly?" Kiera asks and I sigh.

"No." I say, again, sharply.

"Human privileges." Danial says and I smile bitterly at him.

"Yes." I say sharply. "Humans are offered many 'benefits' in the cities. Like here." I say and point at the miles of apartment complexes lining the Citadel. "That's why space rats are considered criminal. Especially the human ones—like me." I say and drop my arm down. "I rejected those privileges."

"So, why did you become a space rat?" Danial asks.

"Good question." I say and turn around again.

"I take that as you are not going to answer the question." Dr. T'Soni says.

"Let's keep moving." I say, avoiding answering the question.

"Oh, darn. I was really enjoying that history lesson." Kiera says sarcastically.

As we pass the groups of space rats, I immediately notice them all smiling up at me. No. Wait. Don't tell me. Is this-?

"Knight of kin!" A volus shouts and I put a hand to my forehead. No, not you.

"Excuse me?" Kiera asks as the volus walks up to me with a drell.

"Pharaoh." I say and the drell crosses his arms. "I thought I recognized—" I say and I'm interrupted by a few kids hugging my legs. Oh, no. This is not how I was expecting to reunite with the people I grew up with. Children, even.

This should be interesting.

"Miss Knight!" A small drell child shouts as he tugs on my hand.

"Knight of Kin!" The volus shouts and I blush in embarrassment.

"Knight, care to explain what's going on here?" Danial asks as I bend down to the drell child.

"Don't tell me. Knight are you—" Kiera asks and gasps. "When were you going to tell us?" She asks and I give a short, quiet, laugh. She thinks I'm the mother of this child.

"Kiera, this isn't my child, if that was what you were expecting me to—" I say and notice a teenage drell behind the child. "Kurt." I say and pick the child up as I stand up. Then, I walk to the teenage drell. "The last time I saw you, you were quite younger." I say and the teenage drell, Kurt, hugs me.

"We thought those slavers killed you!" The drell shouts as he hugs me.

"Apparently not." An older drell, an adult my age, says as he walks up to me. "Good to see you alive, Knight." He says and I give the child to Kurt.

"I never thought I'd see you here, Grahm." I say and he smiles. "It's been…fifteen years."

"Knight? Care to explain what's going on? Now would be a good time." Danial asks and I remember that I came with a group.

"I'm Grahm, Knight's…Well, I'd like to think I'm like what you humans would call a 'brother'." Grahm says and looks as if he might shed a tear as he looks at me again. "It is as what Kurt said. We all thought you were dead."

"Grahm…I'm sorry, I—" I say as I try to tell him that I'm an Alliance soldier. He doesn't know.

"I can tell from your armor that you're Alliance, Knight." A batarian's voice says as he walks to us.

"Katar." I say and feel myself start to shake. "No…not you."

"Cut the crap!" He shouts and I brace for the impact of a blow. "You were supposed to be dead!"

"You're Katar?" Danial asks, angrily. "You abusive son of a—" He shouts and I stop him before he hits Katar.

"Danial, stop." I say, sharply. The others don't know about the abuse I went through. By the looks of things, they still don't. And Katar is still the leader. Not to mention that there are innocent children here. "Katar, I didn't come here to harm anyone." I say and bow my head. "Please forgive…my comrade's behavior." I say and force Danial to bow with one of my hands.

"Good. You humans are always so brash." Katar says and crosses his arms. I look up and relax the hand on Danial. "I bet you get luxurious suites and culinary delights by now."

"What?" Danial asks, dumbfounded.

"Since when was that a thing?" Kiera asks and gives a small laugh. "If only that were true…"

"Shut it, human!" Katar shouts and looks at Grahm. "We're leaving in ten. You make sure everyone gets on the shuttle in time."

"Yes, sir." Grahm says and Katar storms away.

"You must be Katar's new second in command." I say and Grahm nods solemnly.

"Why do you take children with you?" Dr. T'Soni asks.

"Dr. T'Soni, these children are—" I say and Grahm interrupts.

"Dr. T'Soni?" Grahm asks and I put a hand to my forehead again. I bet he just can't wait to spill all of my childhood secrets. "Knight has told me a lot about you." He says and I look away in embarrassment. "I'm glad you two finally had the chance to meet."

"What did she say about me?" The doctor asks, cruelly. It's like she's doing this to make me blush more. If it is, it's working.

"She admired your work on the Protheans. I believe she read every page of every essay, journal, and novel you wrote." He says as I feel my face go numb from nervousness. "She's a big fan." He adds, sinisterly. He's doing this on purpose. I hear Kiera and Danial trying to desperately hold in their laughter.

Fantastic…

"Oh, really?" The doctor asks, suavely. This sends a chill down my spine. It makes my hair stand on end. She's a bit scary right now. Well, maybe "scary" isn't the right word. "Do you remember her favorite work of mine? She has…neglected to tell me." No, "scary" is the perfect word.

"Oh, that one is easy to answer. It is 'Adventures with—" Grahm continues and I quickly put a hand over his mouth. 'Adventures with a Prothean' was always my favorite.

"I think we've heard enough, Grahm." I say as I stare into his eyes with anger.

"Okay, okay." Grahm says and I relax my hand as I pull it away from his mouth. "Why don't you keep the children company? I would like to share a few words with your new friends." He asks and I see the children staring at me with wide, pleading eyes. How can I refuse?

"Just try not to share too much about me." I say and start walking away, towards the children. The children look happy to see me as I walk up to them.

"Knight of Kin!" The volus, Pharaoh says as he joins in. He's a special case, isn't he? Had a little too much red sand in his day. He never changed. Still the same insane volus from my childhood. The only thing new here are the children, who seem to be normal, healthy children. The only difference is their new part in society—as space rats.

"I see you're still doing what you do best, Pharaoh." I say as I smile at him.

"Janok Knight. Knight of Kin!" He says happily. This sends an eerie chill down my spine. The name from my dream. How does he know it?

"Where did you hear that name?" I ask and the children rush in to hug me. I'm forced to focus on the children and ignore the volus. Some of the children were trying to get me to play with them. I just silently smiled at them as I let a few stand on my back. Then, accepting the challenge, I let this child ride on my back. It was the drell child. While I run a few feet with the child laughing happily on my back, the other children follow me. The drell child and the other children continue laughing as we turn to return to where we started. I see Liara, Danial, Kiera, and Grahm smile at me. I don't think I've ever showed this side of me to them—well, except for Grahm. I've always been good with kids. And I've always had a reputation for giving piggy-back rides.

Children are so easy to please. Most of the time, anyway.

Minutes pass until I hear Grahm call to the children. When I walk up to Grahm and my group, I notice them looking like they had mixed feelings of grief and happiness. "It is time to go." Grahm says and I take out a hand to shake. He quickly grabs my hand and pulls me in closer. He gives me a quick hug and I smile. "You will get through this. You always have." He says as I feel his breath quicken.

"You too Grahm." I say and pull back from him. "Remember our promise."

Before I left Grahm over fifteen years ago, I told him to make me a promise. It was from the religion he practiced at the time, so I hoped it would hold a greater meaning to him. I told him, if anything were to happen to me, I would be waiting for him at the sea by the shore. He promised to hold me to it.

"If anything happens…Knight, wait for me to meet you at the sea-" He says and I smile with a sense of sadness.

"By the shore." I finish and he sighs. "Stay strong, Grahm."

"You too, Knight." He says and slowly starts walking away. I watch as the children follow close behind him.

"You lied about not having a family." Dr. T'Soni says and I smile.

"I am a liar." I say and notice Kiera trying to hold back tears.

"I wasn't expecting that." Danial says as I see the space rats disappear into the crowd of people.

"You never seemed like the type to play with kids." Dr. T'Soni says. "In fact, I never thought of you as the playful type." She continues and smiles slyly. "Very unexpected."

"Well, I…" I say and clear my throat out of embarrassment. "I, uh…" I say as I try to find the words to explain to them that I wasn't always violent.

"Wait. Are you blushing?" Danial jokes and I look away.

"No." I lie as I feel my face become warmer. "There was a time…before I became a criminal, you know?"

"They're the only space rats that don't see me as just a human." I say and turn around, away from them. "It was…good to see them again."

"Not that." He says and I freeze. "Everything." He says and sighs with a slight laugh. "You, how you reacted to the kids, and you…reading Dr. T'Soni's works?"

"I have to admit. That part was the most interesting." Kiera says through a quick breath through her nose. "You can read those?"

"The Protheans are an interesting species." I say with a sly smile. "Besides, I had to be doing something before becoming a 'thieving criminal'."

"Would Commander Shepard have anything to do with that as well?" Dr. T'Soni asks.

"Maybe." I say and start walking. Again, I ignore the question. "You know, I don't think I've ever had a chance to sight-see."

Later, back on the Normandy, I sit in the darkened starboard observation deck. As I look at the stars, I feel someone walk into the room from behind me. "Knight." A familiar voice says. It's Liara. "Are you thinking about Grahm?" She asks and I sigh.

"Him…and those children…" I say as she walks in front of me. "Liara, I cut ties with that group a long time ago. I never wanted to face them again."

"Why is that?" She asks and I look up at her. She has her arms crossed. "They are your family."

"They were." I say and sigh. "I apologize…for what I said at the Citadel. I find it easier to blame other people than to blame myself." I say and she uncrosses her arms. "Commander Shepard is the one person I find myself being compared to. It's a lot of pressure I put on myself." I say and give a sarcastic smile. "The statue of the mass relay brought up some…shocking visions of Saren."

"Is that why you avoided answering Danial?" Liara asks. "You were pale when he asked you. It seems he cares for you." She continues as I notice her trying to rationalize her thoughts. "He doesn't know about your visions, does he?"

"No." I say and she gives me a small smile.

"You never answered my question about your motivations for reading my writings of the Protheans."

"I think I answered it already." I say, trying to hide a bit of my feelings.

"A simple 'maybe' does not count." She says and I feel her sit down next to me. "You read my writings of the Protheans. Did that factor into your research on Shepard?"

"No." I say, honestly, and look at her. "Not at first." I continue as I think about having data pads surrounding me. "I was curious…"

"About the Protheans?" She asks and I smile.

"No." I say and rest a hand over hers. This is embarrassing. "You." I say and feel my face become warmer. She smiles at me, slyly. "You…intrigued me." I continue as my heart starts beating faster.

"Oh?" She asks and raises a gentle, warm hand to my face. "What about me was that interesting?"

"At first…I admired the way you wrote." I say and slowly brings her face towards mine. "Then…"

"Then, you found out what Shepard and I had together." She says as I notice a hint of sorrow in her eyes. Slowly, and calmly, I raise a hand to her face. Gently, I lay my hand on her cheek.

Calmly, I say, "Then…I learned the true meaning of jealousy." I drop my hand away from her face as she pulls me closer to her. My heart starts drumming in my chest, but I'm calm. I know Liara won't hurt me. Slowly, I close my eyes. Instead of kissing me, she hugs me. She holds me tightly against her chest. I hear a loud thump from her chest. Is her heart beating as fast as mine?

"You don't need to feel jealous anymore." She says and I feel her gentle hands on the back of my head. "It feels like forever since I've felt so strongly for someone…as I do for you."

"Liara…" I say and wrap my arms around her. "I—"

"You do not need to say anything." She says and loosens her grip on me, just enough for me to look up at her. "I know you do not understand your own feelings that you have for me." She says and I smile. "What?" She asks as I look into her eyes.

"I was just thinking about how you would make a good mother someday." I say and she smiles suavely.

"Oh?" She asks and I feel my face warm up. Did she take that as a flirt?

"I didn't mean it like that." I say, nervously. Then she softly laughs.

"I know." She says and I sigh in relief. "Besides, I am already the mother of a child."

"Wouldn't her father be a bit jealous that I'm in the arms of the mother of his child, then?" I ask and she gives me a light kiss on my forehead.

"Who knows?" She asks, rhetorically. "She's not of this world anymore."

"Liara…" I say and slowly raise a hand to her face. As my hand reaches her face, I see a vision of Commander Shepard doing the same thing. Then, as I'm pulled back into reality, I notice that Liara is holding my hand to her face while she smiles at me. There's nothing I can say to express my feelings. Gratitude that Liara had someone like the commander, who held on until the very end—not willing to let go of her special person. Sadness that they both had to experience the ultimate sacrifice. And anger that they never had the happy ending they deserved. Weariness for the fatherless daughter Liara had to raise on her own. Empathy for the loneliness both of them must have felt. Lastly, I feel the need to protect this person. Liara is special to me.

How can I be so cruel to her?

There is no possible way I could be as good to her as Shepard was.

Still, my heart has never beaten this way for anyone but her.

Is this what love feels like?


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N:** My attempt at writing the cliché of "the guy who hates you secretly loves you" but in a toxic one-sided way. Also, MAJOR time-skip here.

This gets pretty dark, so… **self-harm warning**.

I honestly don't know why I thought this chapter was a good idea, to be honest, but here it is.

-Eddy

 **Chapter 9**

As I sit on the starboard observation deck, I'm lost to the silence. No thoughts are running through my mind, just the calming image of the stars. "Here again, I see." Danial says as he walks into the room. "Are the stars really that interesting?"

"No." I say, bluntly. "That's not why I come to look at them."

"Got any more interesting stories to tell?" He asks as he sits down next to me.

"No. Nothing." I say and see him smiling in the refection on the window. "Do you?"

"I've got a few." He says, smugly. "You want to hear one?"

"Sure." I say as I continue looking through the window.

"Well…when I was still in Alliance training, I heard about this girl who was picking fights with her superiors." He says and I immediately know what he's talking about. It's about me. "One day, I heard a loud 'bang'. You know what that was?"

"What?" I ask, pretending I don't know what he's talking about.

"An Alliance training tech was thrown through a metal door." He says and gives a small laugh. "She claimed it was for self-defense, but this guy was only an Alliance Tech—not a soldier. You know what happened after that?" He asks and I shake my head 'no'. "She grabbed his collar and threw him across the training grounds with her biotics. It scared the living hell out of the officers."

"You make her sound…very violent." I say, still trying to pretend that I have no idea what he's talking about.

"She was, in her early years in the Alliance. More so when the Alliance found out about her secret biotic abilities." He says and I look at him. "The poor man had to be hospitalized for nearly a week."

"He was asking for it." I blurt out and he laughs.

"Oh, so you knew I was talking about you?" He asks with a sly smile.

"I was…" I say and he playfully pushes my arm slightly. I laugh softly and give a small smile. "Yes."

"You're a terrible liar." He says and I look at him. He was just joking about the story thing. "I never understood you in Alliance training, but now I think I do."

"I don't know, Danial." I say, sarcastically. Even though he doesn't fully understand me, he knows a lot about me already. "You never know. I'm a liar and just a space rat, remember?"

"Hey, you can't blame me for judging space rats." He says as I notice him looking nervous. "Not all space rats are like you. They're not as nice…as you are."

"I thought you said I was violent." I say and he smiles.

"It's a…different kind of violent." He says and sighs. "You're only violent because you have to be. You protect yourself. That makes you brave, not dangerous."

"I guess I can understand that." I say as I remember life as a space rat. All of the trouble I got into, whether it was my fault or not, I had to learn to fight. "Life is hard as a space rat. If I want to survive, I have to fight. When I first joined the Alliance, no one trusted that I wasn't just a criminal…they truly believed I was just being violent to be violent. The Alliance tech found that out the hard way. I don't regret what I did." I say and feel a hand on my shoulder. "And, it sounds like you don't, either."

"We make a good team, don't we?" He asks with a smile.

"We do." I say and he pulls me towards him as he moves in closer to me. "Danial?" I ask as his face is just inches from mine. Then, he closes his eyes and kisses me. It's passionate, but one-sided. The kiss lasts a moment before he pulls away from me. "Why did you—" I say and shake his hand off.

"Knight, I think I'm in love with you." He says and I shake my head. Why is this happening? I thought he was just being friendly, but I know friends don't do that with each other. Then, as I'm shaking, I stand up. Liara and I are already trying to be more than friends. I need to get away from here.

As I try to leave the room, Danial pushes me up against a wall. "Danial? What's going on?" I ask, nearly scared of what might happen next. "Why…?" I ask and he looks into my eyes. Tell him, Knight! "Danial, I—" I say and he interrupts me.

"You don't have to say anything. I love you, Knight." He says and kisses me. As I struggle to get away, he pushes me back onto the wall behind me. This isn't the same kind of kiss Liara gave me. It's different—more lustful. Forced. Regardless, I can't let this continue. As I make my last try at getting away, he grabs at my waist and opens the bottom of my shirt to put his hand onto my bare skin. I'm instantly frozen in shock as he begins to feel and grope me. I'm scared. This reminds me of when I was a slave. Bought and sold to pleasure people. I've told Danial about it all, but he still does this to me?

Suddenly, my biotics react, and I let them out—sending Danial flying in front of me. He hits the back of the couch as I'm left out of breath. "Don't ever do that again!" I say, sharply as I feel myself shaking, and quickly make my way out. I hear Danial stagger as he stands.

"Wait!" Danial shouts as I see Kiera. "You felt nothing from that?" He asks, nearly desperately. Then, I turn toward him. As I feel my anger rise, my biotics light my whole body. Danial starts walking to me. "Just tell me that you felt…something."

"No. I didn't feel anything. Still don't." I say and he grabs one of my arms. Quickly, I shake his hand off. "Don't touch me."

"Knight. Come on. Listen to me." He says as I feel my biotics react again. "I thought we were close!"

"Just stay away from me, Danial." I say as Kiera walks to us.

"What's going on?" Kiera asks as she looks at Danial and I. Then, I calm down a bit.

"Why did you do that? I thought we were friends." I say, still in shock over what just happened.

"Knight, I'm sorry. I thought…we were going somewhere…" Danial says as I slowly calm down. "I didn't mean to—"

"What did you do to her, Danial?" Kiera asks, angrily.

"This is none of your business." Danial says and Kiera looks at me. "Knight. Please, come talk to me."

"No." I say, sharply. "I think we've talked enough." I say, almost angrily. Then, I turn to leave.

"Are you sure it's all right to just leave her like that?" Kiera asks as she looks towards Danial. Then I turn my head to look towards Kiera.

"Kiera, I'm fine…I just need to be alone right now." I say before walking away.

Later, as I'm on the lower half of the engineer room thinking about what happened between Danial and me, I silently sit on a small bed. While contemplating on the event, I unconsciously scratch at my arms. I feel dirty. It was disgusting. It brought me back to when I was a slave. Men touching my body in ways that were more intimate than what Danial did. Yet, it still brought me back to that time. "Knight?" I hear Liara's voice ask as I hear her walking towards me. "Goddess! What happened?" She asks, shocked. As she rushes to my side, I notice that I'm crying while my fingers are dug into my arms—making me bleed. "Stop this!" She says and pulls my hands away from my arms. "Why are you doing this to yourself?" She asks as she looks scared for me and I look at her.

"Liara…?" I ask and bow my head. "I'm sorry...I should have been more careful." I say, referring to the scratches on my arms.

"What happened?" She asks as I feel her hands over my arms. I'm shaking.

"It was…disgusting." I say as I remember what Danial did. "It wasn't at all…like how you do it…"

"Like…what? Knight, what happened?" She asks and I struggle to look at her again—I'm ashamed that I let that happen.

"Danial…he…touched me…" As I say this, I notice her becoming angry. "It was…disgusting. I tried to get away, but he…" I say as I feel tears running down my face. "I'm sorry, Liara."

"Danial? He made you this way?" She asks and I look back down. Then, she stands up. Just before she starts walking away, I grab one of her hands.

"Please, just…stay with me." I say with teary eyes and a wet face. Then, she slowly turns to face me.

"But, I need to have a talk with Danial." She says and I put my other hand on top of the hand I grabbed.

"No…please. Stay with me?" I ask and she sighs.

"Okay…" She says and slowly sits next to me.

Several minutes pass as Liara and I sit together. The time we spent together seemed to calm me down enough that I could speak about what happened between Danial and I. "Danial confessed to me…about how he felt towards me."

"You turned him down?" She asks and I look at her.

"Of course I turned him down." I say and sigh. "I told you before…I may not completely understand what love feels like, even between us, but…it didn't feel the same way with Danial. It felt wrong."

"He was your friend." She says and I nod.

"Just my friend…" I say and hear someone walking towards us.

"I didn't know you felt that way." Danial says as he walks into the room. Liara and I quickly look at him as we let go of each other. "So, you're okay with her touching you, but not me?" He asks and scoffs. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"Leave her alone, Danial." Liara says and stands up to face Danial. "You've put her through enough!"

"After everything we've talked about…you still tried to…" I say as I feel my anger rising. "You…touched me."

"It's not any different with her, is it?" Danial asks, angry. Then, I stand up. "I thought we were becoming something more."

"No. We weren't." I say as I calm myself. "I've never thought of you as more than a friend."

"But, you're with her in that way." Danial says as he points at Liara and Liara steps in between Danial and me. "How is she better than me?"

"Leave her alone, Danial." Liara says, again, and Danial crosses his arms.

"You're our doctor, so you've actually seen Knight naked." Danial says as I notice Liara clenching her fists. She's angry. "You better watch out, Knight. Dr. T'Soni just wants to see you out of your clothes again." He says as I notice Liara's biotics making her body glow. "You never know. She could just be wanting to have sex with you. Just like those slavers."

"Leave her out of this, Danial! She's not like you. She's never touched me like you did." I say and notice Liara calm down enough for her to stop glowing. "At least she had a reason to take my clothes off. You nearly took my clothes off because you wanted sex."

"You were…doing that to her?" Liara asks and her body lights up again. "She trusted you."

"My point, exactly! We're more alike than you realize." Danial shouts, still trying to blame Liara. "She may have not taken your clothes off to have sex with you yet, Knight, but she will. You asked me before what love was. Now you know. It's about sex."

"That's not true! You know nothing, Danial. Leave Knight alone!" Liara says, angrily. Wow, I don't think I've actually seen Liara angry before now. "She was just trying to be your friend, and you do this to her?"

"The doctor is an asari. You two have nothing in common." Danial says and I glare at him. "You're human, so you should be attracted to me."

"If you're going to be this way, Danial, then I don't think we should even be friends." I say and cross my arms. "No one has the right to tell me anything like that. Is your type of love seriously just about sex? And, it doesn't matter that Dr. T'Soni is an asari. I care about her."

"You can't seriously believe that! What about our talks? What about us? We had so much fun hanging out. Did all of that mean nothing to you?" Danial asks, almost desperate. "Are you seriously telling me you prefer her over me?" He asks and looks at my arms. "Was it really so disgusting that you would do that to your own body? I bet you wouldn't have done that if the doctor pinned you up against a wall as she stripped you of your clothes."

"Enough!" I shout and step closer to him. "Dr. T'Soni is important to me, so don't you dare insult her in front of me." I say as my body lights up. Liara's body stops glowing as she quickly looks back at me. "She is nothing like you and you just proved that." I continue. "I told you about the slavers and what they did to me, and you still touched me. Just like they did." I say and calm my biotics down. "Human or not, it doesn't matter to me. I was a space rat for fifteen years. I was raised by several different species, yet not one human friend. Until I met you and Kiera." I say and step closer to him. He looks scared. "Still, you touched my bare skin without my permission. The doctor wouldn't do that. She's not like you. So, I think we're done with this, Danial."

"I…see." Danial says and sighs. "I'm sorry, Knight." He says as he relaxes. "I'll just…go now. I guess." He says and walks away.

"I…" I say and sigh with relief. "I did it." I say and sit down. I'm shaking again.

"Are you all right?" Liara asks as she turns and walks to me. "I can't believe you actually said all of that."

"I wanted to punch him, choke him out even, but that won't solve anything." I say and sigh again. "I hated how he brought you into this mess…I'm sorry, Liara."

"It's not your fault." She says and sits next to me. "Did you mean what you said? About us…"

"Yes." I say and look at her. "You're someone who's important enough for me to defend like that." I say and give her a smile. "I like you, Liara…a lot." I say and feel her getting closer to me.

"Knight, is it okay if I kiss you?" She asks and I look into her eyes.

"Yes." I say and she gently grabs my face. Then, we kiss. It was passionate, and lasted a few moments. It was calming. Peaceful. My shaking even stopped.

Then, she pulls away from me. I cringe slightly as I start noticing the scratch marks on my arms. "We should get you cleaned up." She says and stands up. I stand with her.

When we get to the med-bay, I see Kiera talking with Danial across the room. She looks angry. Instead of stopping to talk with them, Liara guides me into the med-bay. When I sit on one of the beds, I hear Kiera walk into the room, alone. "What happened?" Kiera asks as she walks to me. Then, she sees my arms. "Oh my gosh!"

"Kiera…I'm fine." I say and look at her.

"Did Danial do this to you?" Kiera asks, almost angry for me.

"No…it was…" I say and sigh. "…me. I did this."

"Why? Did it have something to do with that fight earlier?" She asks as Liara grabs one of my arms, then starts cleaning the wounds. Then, Liara grabs some medicine to put on my arms. I cringe as the medication touches my skin. It burns.

"It's over now." Liara says as I sense her worry. "I was there."

"What happened, exactly?" Kiera asks as Liara grabs my other arm to clean it. "It must have been something big to make you do this."

"Danial…said he loved me." I say as Liara finishes cleaning my arm and starts putting the medicine on it. The burn makes me cringe again. "I guess I didn't get through to him that I wasn't interested."

"He did something to you?" Kiera asks as Liara starts putting bandages on my arms.

"You could say that." I say as Liara finishes wrapping the first arm. She seems a little irritated, angry.

"What did he do?" Kiera asks as Liara ties the bandage down, slightly tighter than comfortable. Then, she starts bandaging my other arm. "It must have been…hard for you to deal with." She says as she looks at my arms.

"Kiera." Liara says sharply and Kiera looks shocked. "I think that's enough."

"Yes, ma'am." Kiera says and sighs. "Sorry, it was just so surprising." She says as Liara finishes wrapping my arm. "I'll just go to bed then. Goodnight, doctor, Knight." She says and walks out of the room. Liara sighs with relief as the door closes.

"Liara?" I ask as she ties the bandage on my arm. "Are you all right?"

"You need to learn to tell people 'no' when you're uncomfortable like that." She says and looks into my eyes. "I'm holding your arm. So, I can feel when your heart beats faster." She explains. "You're quite nervous. Even now."

"I thought friends share what's bothering them?" I ask, confused. I've never had to deal with a situation like this before.

"This is different." Liara says as she grabs my hand, holding it in between her hands. "Friends will be understanding if a situation like this is too uncomfortable to talk about."

"Kiera wasn't." I say and she sighs.

"Kiera's different." She says.

"What makes her different?" I ask and she takes my hand, putting up on her face.

"She's not as understanding as I am." She says and I smile.

"I don't think anyone is as understanding as you are, Liara." I say and she smiles as she lowers my hand.

"I'm glad you feel the same way." She says and lets go of my hand. Then, I think about how I'm going to have to spend the night in the crew's quarters. The thought makes me feel as if I could shake in fear again. "What's wrong?"

"Do you think…" I start and sigh. "I don't mean to bother you…" I say as I feel awkward, trying to ask Liara if I can sleep in her room for the night.

"Knight?" She asks as I notice her looking worried. "Tell me what's wrong."

"I was wondering…if I could stay with you…" I say and look away in nervousness. "…I don't know if I can sleep in the crew quarters just yet."

"Knight. It's okay." She says with a kind smile as she puts a gentle hand to my face.

"Thank you, Liara." I say with a calm smile.

Later, when I get to Liara's room, I notice that she's not there yet. For a few minutes, I wait outside of the room. As the minutes pass, I start getting impatient. She knows I'll be here, so it should be all right for me to go in, right?

After a few moments of thinking about whether or not to go in, I decide to go inside. As I slowly walk inside, I notice no alarm going off or anything out of the ordinary. Even the room's lights and the monitors are all turned off. "Knight?" I hear Admiral Coen in my com. It startles me slightly, but I answer it instantly.

"Yes, sir?" I ask.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night, but I need to know if you've been receiving any threats from mercenaries as of late." He says as I notice the worry in his voice.

"Yes. I have." I say.

"When was it?"

"Sir, I've been getting them every mission you've sent the Normandy on since I got here." I say and hear him sigh.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He says. "The council might have to get involved sooner than I expected."

"Admiral, wait." I say.

"What is it, Knight?" He asks.

"Please don't tell the crew of the Normandy about this." I say.

"Why?" He asks. "This could influence the rate this war is going."

"I know, but please understand." I say and he sighs.

"I'll see what I can do." He says. "Another thing while I have you on call. I've managed to come into contact with that research facility that manufactured your faulty biotic implant." He says as I remember the mission. It was a failure. Only the Admiral and I made it out alive. "We have another chance at getting that data. This time, it needs to be destroyed."

"But, Admiral. We need that data." I say and he sighs.

"No. You know as much as I do that the data is only relevant to current users. New users were banned when we studied your implant. So far, you're the only one still alive with this particular implant." He explains. "I'm sorry, Knight. Even if this shortens your own lifespan, I can't allow anyone getting a hold of that data. Especially the Krogan. If they get their hands on that data, this war is lost—for sure."

"I…understand, sir." I say. "How are we getting there safely?"

"I've sent Dr. T'Soni the coordinates and she's doing some classified work on them." He says. "Even if only a few of you make it out alive, that data must be destroyed, at any cost. This may even be your last mission as well."

"But, sir!" I say and he interrupts.

"Thant's an order, soldier! Coen out." He finishes and he ends the call. Damnit, Admiral! I won't let what happened with that squad happen to the Normandy's squad! I won't let Liara have to go through what I've gone through with the last attempt at getting this data.

Then, after I've calmed down from all of that, I make my way to the couch and sit down. I wonder what Liara's doing.

After minutes of waiting, I hear the door to the room open. "Knight?" Liara asks as she walks in. Then, I stand up to walk to her. As I walk to her, I notice her turning on her monitors.

"Still working?" I ask as the monitors face away from me.

"The Admiral gave me some data he said he needed me to look at." She says and looks over her shoulder at me.

"Is this data classified?" I ask and she sighs.

"Yes." She says. "If you're tired, then go to sleep. I'm going to be up for a while longer."

"Okay." I say and turn to walk to the bedroom.

"You can sleep in the bed, if you want to." She says.

"Thank you." I say as I stare at the bed. Then, I hesitate, but then I sit on the bed. "Goodnight, Liara." I say as I watch her from the bed and lay down. From the light on her face, coming from the monitors, I see her smile.

When I fell asleep, I dreamt of being in Liara's room. It was somewhat different from how it usually is. In the dream, I could walk around the room. So, I walk to the monitors to look at what Liara has been working on. As I look at the screens, I'm shocked as I see my memories from my past. I saw when the refugees committed suicide in front of me, the slave trade, and even Danial forcing himself on me. Then, I notice something I only have little memory of—a science lab on a dusty planet, full of krogan. Could that be Tuchanka? One of my old friends told me about the planet years ago, but I've never been there. After seeing that, I notice a screen flashing different colors. It was me, caged and being electrocuted as my biotics are uncontrollable. As I see this, I feel hot and my heart races.

After a moment of panic, I see Liara walking from one side of the room to me. "Liara?" I hear myself ask as she gets closer to me. Suddenly, the room seems stretched out as Liara seems to be getting further and further away.

"Knight." She says as she stretches a hand out to me.

"Liara." I say back as the monitors next to me start shocking the air around me with electricity.

"Knight." She says, louder as my panic starts to overwhelm me. "Knight, wake up." She says and everything fades to black. "Knight, wake up!" I hear Liara shout as I feel my arm being shook. Then, I open my eyes as I'm out of breath. "Goddess!" She sighs in relief as I see her hovering above me. "Don't scare me like that."

"What happened?" I ask as I notice that she's not in her usual uniform—night clothes. Then, she places a gentle hand onto my face.

"I think you were having a nightmare. Then, you stopped breathing for a second." She says and sighs. Then, she calmly lays down next to me. "Is there something on your mind?"

"There is, actually…I'm sorry." I say as I feel myself catch my breath. "I got a call from the Admiral earlier…" I say and remember that I don't want Liara to know too many details.

"What did he say?" She asks and takes her hand away from my face.

"It was about…" I say as I think of a way to say it, without actually telling her what's going on. "…the Admiral believes that these mercenaries are targeting…me."

"Does he know why?" She asks.

"No, he asked me to give him any information I had…but, I don't know anything about it." I say and she smiles. "I want to do what I can for the Alliance…but I don't want to be a burden."

"Don't blame yourself for that." She says. "We'll figure it out."


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N:** Time-skip, again.

I guess I was thinking "what would make a thresher maw scarier" when I wrote this. Also, I tried putting in more insight on Knight's past back then, so there's that.

Well…

Enjoy!

-Eddy

 **Chapter 10**

The next morning when I wake up, I notice that Liara isn't sleeping next to me and the blankets are on top of me. "Liara?" I ask as I sit up to look around the room. Liara isn't in the room.

As I stand up, the door opens. "Good. You're up." Liara says as she walks into the room. "Admiral Coen just sent the Normandy coordinates for the next mission."

"Did he say where we're going?" I ask, pretending not to know, as she walks to me.

"A lab." She says and stops when she reaches me. "He said…you would know about it."

"He did?" I ask and she crosses her arms.

"That's what I was working on last night." She says and I sigh. "Knight…I don't know why you would want to hide this from me…"

"Liara…" I say and sigh. "I know you want to know more about me, but I don't even know much about myself." I explain and she relaxes her arms. "First, I need to know how much you know about the lab. Then, I can…try to explain as much as I can about what I do know."

"The lab we're going to specializes in biotic implants. The same one you have, specifically." She says as I sense her worry. "Knight, you can tell me. What do you know about this?"

"My biotic implant was damaged during a mission ten years ago." I start with something she's familiar with. "The Alliance tried to help me with it, but the implant I have is still considered rare technology…none of the Alliance biotic experts could repair it." I explain and sigh. "The Admiral has been helping me track down the location of where the implant was made so that…I might be able to get it fixed." I say and give her a small smile. "So, he found it."

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?" She asks and I look away.

"The damage hasn't been much of an issue for me. Even though there are times when I'm vulnerable, I still have near full control of my biotics." I say and look back at her. "Liara, when we get to the lab, I can explain more…I promise."

"Finding this lab must have been important to the Admiral as well, if he was willing to search for it this whole time." She says as I see that she's deep in thought. "My data led me to the lab, but it seemed to have very little information on residences within the building."

"There might be data left on the computers inside." I say as I think about when we get there. "I could try to hack into the system and retrieve some data."

"Don't decide anything yet." She says. "We don't know anything about the building's security protocols."

"You're right." I say and sigh. "So, when are we arriving at the lab?"

"In a couple of hours." She says. Whatever it takes, I need to get that data. Even if I get hurt in the process. That data is far more valuable than my own life. If we can get that data, it could potentially save a lot of lives. "The Admiral made this sound like it is really important to him, and it's obvious that it is for you as well. There has to be more to this than your damaged biotic implant."

"I'm sorry, Liara." I say and start walking away. "Like I said, we can talk more when we get to the lab."

"Why are you keeping this from me?" She asks as she stops me. Sharply, she asks, "Don't you trust me?"

"I do. This mission will require us all to stay calm. Everyone needs to stay focused." I say and turn my head to look at her.

"What makes you think that I shouldn't know?" She asks. "This mission…Admiral Coen said it was dangerous—even for us." She continues. "Does it have something with that, Knight?"

"Yes, it does. I should know. I've been there before." I say and she lets go of my hand. "I promise you, Liara. I'll tell you everything I know once we get there." I say and leave the room.

As we reach closer to where we will board the shuttle to get down into the lab, I get my armor and gun ready. The reason Liara couldn't find anything on the security protocols is because the lab is guarded by a single beast: a thresher maw. The last time I was here, the Alliance sent me to investigate the missing scientists—and the data regarding my biotic implant. The Alliance wanted to start using this implant in their new recruits. But, it was deemed too dangerous to use on human biotics—except me, of course. The Admiral doesn't want me to retrieve this data, he wants me to destroy it. I won't be doing that. This has been a personal goal of mine since my implant was damaged. I need that data.

"So, I hear you will be guiding us during this mission." Danial says as he walks into the room.

"Yes." I say as I try to not look at him.

"I'm sorry for what happened between us." He says as I notice him looking at my arms, just as I'm putting my gloves on. "I didn't know that it would hurt you like that."

"As long as you don't touch me again, we should have no issues." I say, remembering that I need them to be ready for the thresher maw. "And…don't you ever talk back to the doctor like that again."

"Are you sure about her though?" He asks as he crosses his arms. "I mean, wouldn't you feel safer with a…I don't know…another human?"

"You obviously don't know me well enough yet, Danial." I say as I finish putting my armor on. "I grew up with many different aliens. Drell, batarian, turian, asari, salarian, even vorcha. Just because Dr. T'Soni is an asari doesn't mean I can't feel anything for her." I say and cross my arms as I give him a sly smile. "Wait. Don't tell me. You're jealous?"

"I really like you, Knight. Why can't it be me?" He asks and I uncross my arms.

"Because…I guess…you're more like a brother to me?" I say as I try to compare my feelings. I feel my heart beat faster around Liara, but I don't feel anything around Danial. And, he likes to poke fun at me all the time. That's what makes him more of a brother to me. "So...can we just be friends, Danial?"

"Of course. I just hope you're happy." He says with a friendly smile and I nod. "Thank you for talking with me." He says and walks away. Hopefully this is the end of that.

"Soldiers to airlock, we're ready to head down to the mission objective." The pilot says into the com system.

As I reach the airlock, I see Liara, Kiera, and Danial with other soldiers. "Doctor, I didn't think you would be coming." I say and she looks worried.

"I'm going with you." She says and I shake my head. "Knight?"

"I need you to stay on the Normandy, Dr. T'Soni." I say and sigh. "I guess it's time to brief all of you." I say and the soldiers salute me. "When we board the shuttle, I'll go more in detail on what's down there. This mission is very important, so I need everyone paying attention."

"Yes, ma'am." Danial says as he and Kiera stand at attention.

"The data we're retrieving is important to the Alliance. It has the potential to save the galaxy—if we have it." I start as Liara stands next to me. "Admiral Coen and I have been attempting to get to this facility since we were there ten years ago. Dr. T'Soni will stay here to monitor the squad's progress and com systems…and, if anything goes wrong, she will need to contact the Admiral." I say and look at her. "We'll need to stay in contact once we get to the lab. I'm going to need your guidance once we're there."

"I…understand." Liara says and I nod, just before I look at the soldiers.

"Soldiers, I'll need you to think for yourselves, if necessary." I say and notice Kiera and Danial looking nervous. "Whenever, if I ever have to lose contact with you, I need you to stay focused on our objective: getting that data."

"Yes, ma'am!" They say and I motion for them to get into the shuttle.

"Knight…" Liara says and I look at her. "…what did you mean by losing contact?"

"If I have to lose contact, that will mean I'm going into the lab alone." I say and she hugs me.

"I don't like this, Knight." She says as I feel her shaking, slightly. "Come back safe, okay?"

"I will." I say and she pulls away from me. "Wait for my signal. I need you to try to keep the com channels open to the crew." I say and turn around to walk into the shuttle.

When the shuttle leaves the Normandy, I face the soldiers as I'm ready to give them the real briefing. "Pilot, we'll need to go in slower than usual."

"Understood, ma'am." The pilot says as I feel the shuttle slow.

"So, are you going to tell us what's so bad that you had to wait to tell us?" Kiera asks and I nod.

"Listen, I need you to pay attention." I say and the soldiers stand at attention. "There wasn't any leads on any security protocols in place at the lab. What I'm about to tell you may scare you, but I need everyone to have a clear head going in." I continue. "When the Admiral and I were here last, we experienced the same thing. No security protocols, no scientists in sight, and a thresher maw guarding the building. And, it sounds like it's still there."

"A thresher maw?" Kiera asks. "Are you crazy? We can't just fight through that thing!"

"Kiera. Stay focused." I say as I look at her. "The thresher maw is not my only concern. Remember that we need to get that data…at any cost."

"What do you mean by 'at any cost'?" Danial asks as I sense his worry.

"If, for any reason, you need to leave me behind—" I say and Kiera interrupts me.

"We won't do that!" Kiera says and I give her a small smile.

"Thank you, but that's on the Admiral's orders." I say and see them looking worried. "When we get there, I need you all to be ready to run to the building." I say and the soldiers salute me. "Pilot, after we touch down, I need you to stay air-born until I use the flare gun." I say as I walk to the pilot. "I need you at the landing zone as soon as you see that flare."

"Yes, ma'am." The pilot says as I look at the radar. It's being jammed. That must mean we're getting close.

"Knight." I hear Liara say into my com. "Are you sure about this? A thresher maw?"

"Don't worry, doctor. I need you to keep those coms working." I say and feel the shuttle shake. We must be getting closer.

"What was that?" Kiera asks and I turn to face the soldiers.

"This lab we're going to…why does it have to be protected by a thresher maw, of all things?" Danial asks and I slowly walk to the doors.

"This facility was abandoned over 30 years ago by the council." I say as I remember when I first came here. "It's…possible that the krogan have something to do with it."

"You really think the krogan are involved?" Danial asks.

"I have proof that they are. So, yes." I say and put on my breather helmet as I feel the shuttle touching down. "Ask the Admiral, he'll tell you what happened. For now, we just need to get to the lab."

"Tactician." The pilot calls for me.

"What is it?" I ask and turn to face him.

"There's something strange." The pilot says. "There are no signs of life anywhere."

"What about the thresher maw?" I ask and the pilot starts stuttering his words.

"There…isn't any signs of thresher maw activity." He stutters. This seems familiar. Something happened to our last pilot. He acted exactly like this. "It's completely safe now."

"Great. No thresher maw." Kiera says, nearly happy as I study the pilot.

"Doctor. I need you to keep in contact with the pilot." I say into my com.

"Knight? What's wrong?" Liara asks. If the pilot is acting like this, it must be the thresher maw.

"It's the thresher maw…" I say and sigh. "…the pilot is showing signs of indoctrination of some kind."

"Indoctrination? I thought only the Reapers could do that." Kiera says and I look at her.

"This thresher maw…a krogan created it." I say and everyone looks shocked. "Stay calm, it can't control you to do anything. It just…distracts you." I say as I think of a way to counter the indoctrination.

"Did this happen the last time you were here?" Danial asks.

"Yes…our pilot was killed because of it…and most of our squad didn't make it." I say and notice the room become tense. "Listen to me. The thresher maw might cause you to think about other things that are unrelated to the mission. I want all of you to keep the objective in your thoughts. Only think of that. Too many thoughts can cause the thresher maw to make you confused. If you need me, or you think it's happening, let me know by holding up a hand. Understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." The group says and I nod.

"Good." I say and continue talking into my com. "Did you hear all of that, Dr. T'Soni?"

"Yes." Liara says. "I'll be here as well, Knight."

"Thanks." I say and motion the group to get off the shuttle. After they leave, I check on the pilot one last time. He's almost lost it completely. "Try to keep the pilot talking. He's suicidal. I'll see you soon, doctor."

As we start walking to the building, it feels very ominous. As if something were ready to jump out at us at any moment. "Something doesn't feel right." Kiera says as I focus on her and Danial. Suddenly, the ground shakes. Then, a giant armored worm—the thresher maw—flies out from under the ground. It doesn't look like a normal thresher maw. This one is grey, not brown, and its eyes are glowing red. "Thresher maw!" Kiera shouts as I start running up to her. The soldiers ahead of us look panicked, but it's as if they're also being controlled somehow.

"Soldiers! Focus!" I shout as I notice the soldiers becoming confused.

"Janok Knight…" I hear an ominous voice say. This is how the thresher maw attacks its victims. "…you are going to die."

"Get out of my head!" I say as I put a hand to my head.

"It's helpless to resist." The voice continues. "You possess no real strength. You are tank-bread."

"Knight? What's going on?" I hear Liara ask.

"How is…the pilot?" I ask as I try to break free of the indoctrination.

"Knight…he killed himself." Liara says as I make my way to Danial and Kiera's side.

"I'm…sorry to hear that." I say as I feel a sharp pain in my head.

"You will die here." The ominous voice says. I feel my legs slow down and a chill goes down my spine.

"Knight? You're acting strange." Danial says and I look at him.

"Get to the door!" I shout as the voice continues to tell me that I'm going to die. They don't seem to be suffering from the indoctrination as much as the other soldiers and I are.

"What's wrong?" Kiera asks and I ignore her as I focus on the door—just a few kilometers away.

"Janok Knight." The voice says.

"Stop calling me that!" I say out loud.

"Who are you talking to?" Danial asks as I notice his worry.

"Don't tell me-?" Kiera asks and I feel my body start to shake as the temptation to grab my gun consumes me.

"Knight. Don't do it!" Danial says as I feel my hand hovering over my gun.

"The krogan will come for you." The ominous voice says. "You're putting everyone you trust in danger."

"I don't want that…I never wanted that…" I say as I feel my hand wrap around my gun. Then, I remember Liara. The indoctrination is strong. But, I have something to live for. I have Liara. Maybe she can talk me out of this. As I think of this, I raise a hand to my com. "Doctor?"

"Knight, you don't sound like yourself. What's going on?" Liara asks, worriedly.

"I just wanted…to hear…your voice." I say as I feel Danial force my hand away from my gun. He holds my hand as we reach closer to the door. Now, it's only feet ahead.

"Remember what you told the squad, Knight." She says as I hear her shaking voice. "Get the data and come back safely."

"But…the krogan…are coming for me." I hear myself say. I'm feeling as if I'm losing to the thresher maw. "They…gave me a name…now, they will destroy me. They're going to kill everyone…again."

"No, they're not." Liara says strongly as I try to focus on her voice. "You're stronger than this."

"They've…already taken everything." I say as the ominous voice starts leaving me. "The krogan…took Goliath. They—" I say as we enter the lab. Quickly, Kiera and Danial close the large metal doors. Then, I gasp for air as I become fully aware of myself. The indoctrination has been broken. "Doctor? Are you there?" I ask and I hear a relieved sigh.

"Thank the goddess! You're back to normal…" She says and see Danial still holding my hand. Awkwardly, Danial looks into my eyes then quickly lets go of my hand with a shy smile. "Let's just focus on getting that data so you can come back."

"Agreed." I say and walk forward.

"Janok Knight. I did not think you would show up." An asari dressed in white says as she makes her appearance known. "Despite the unfortunate circumstances, it's good to finally meet you. Janok Knight."

"Don't call me that!" I say, angrily. "Who are you?"

"My name is Shyrah. And you? Oh, what is it that you go by now?" The asari asks as my body lights up. "Jordan Knight?" She asks and laughs. "It's been a while since we've seen each other."

"Knight? What did she call you?" Kiera asks as I hear her and Danial raise their guns to the asari.

"Janok Knight is her true name. Tank-bred." A krogan says as he steps out from behind the asari. "An experiment gone wrong. We krogan of clan Janok gave her the name she should wear with servitude: Janok Knight."

"That's not my name!" I shout as I feel my anger rising.

"You humans don't know who this thing really is!" The krogan shouts as I see his body light up.

"She's just an artificial life-form." The asari says. "We should know, we helped create her!"

"What?" Kiera asks and I look at her.

"Don't listen to her!" I say and the krogan laughs.

"Even if you possess our DNA, you are not our child." The krogan says and the asari smiles.

"Knight…is an alien?" Danial asks and I look at him.

"Those are lies!" I say and the asari laughs.

"No, child." The asari says and I look at her. "You were built in a lab on Tuchanka. We were in charge of the more…physical aspects of you."

"That's not true!" I shout. "I was born on Omega."

"No. You were never born." The krogan says as I feel, for the first time, legitimate fear. "You're tank-bred to be a warrior. You were made to defend clan Janok against the galaxy. You failed that purpose when you fled the lab over 20 years ago."

"You were created for one purpose, and you never lived up to it." The asari says and I feel myself drop to my knees. "Now, you've brought your human friends into this. They will feel this as well."

"Leave them out of this…" I say, nearly pleading.

"Knight!" Kiera says as I feel tears run down my face.

"You were never finished. So, we decided to come and end you. Then, we can start fresh." The krogan says and I remember the data. "We already have the data. Now, you'll die here." He says and charges at me. I close my eyes as I prepare for the impact. But, instead, I hear a loud thump in front of me. As I open my eyes, I see Kiera and Danial on the ground, bleeding. The krogan smiles at me and I stand up. My body lights up as I feel my anger rise.

"How dare you!" I say as I feel my body burn slightly. The asari looks scared as the krogan laughs. "Those are my friends! Even if I'm tank-bred, I will end you for this. No one hurts my friends and gets away with it!"

"You think you can take me down?" He asks and I use my biotics to throw him away from me. He hits a wall feet away from behind the asari. Then, I use my biotics to grab onto the asari. She screams as I tighten my grip on her.

"Are you scared?" I ask as I hear the asari crying—in pain. "Good. You should be."

"You're…just the monster Janok Cain…wanted!" The krogan shouts as he gathers himself. "His…pet…Janok Knight."

"Don't you dare call me that!" I shout and throw the asari at the krogan. "I've never gone by that name. No matter what brand you put on my skin." I say as I slowly walk towards them. "No matter what you call me." I continue. "I'm not weak, and I don't belong to clan Janok. I have a purpose that surpasses the ideals of the krogan. Too bad you won't be able to tell your leader. I'm not his pet!" I say and use my biotics to slam down on the krogan. He coughs up blood as I hit him.

"Good. Maybe…you weren't a mistake…you fight just like a krogan." The krogan says and laughs.

"And…asari…although, you aren't-" The asari says and coughs up blood. "You aren't…now…be careful, Knight…you're biotics…aren't stable…not like how I intended them to be. You could end up hurting the ones you've grown close to." She says and coughs again. "You are a…very strong girl…I'm truly proud of you."

"Don't talk as if you know me." I say and bend down to them.

"Then, I wish…we could have…gotten the chance to…get to know each other…" The asari says with a smile as tears run down her face and she coughs again. Then, she raises a hand to my face. "In another life…maybe you could be my…real daughter…" She says and her hand slowly drops from my face. She's dead.

"And…maybe you'll be a real krogan next time." The krogan says and coughs up blood. "Goodbye…Janok Knight." He says and slumps over—dead.

"I finally meet you…and you die before I can get any answers." I say and sigh. "How…cruel." I finish and stand up. Then, I see a data disk across the room. It's covered in the asari's blood. When I pick it up, I wipe the blood off it and stick it in my pocket. Then, I walk to Danial and Kiera. They're still alive. "Dr. T'Soni?" I say and open the metal doors slightly. There is no sign of the thresher maw. The soldiers that were outside are dead. The ominous feeling I had is gone now, but in a new sense. I failed my team again.

"Knight…" She says as I sense her anxiousness. "…I'm sorry."

"Yeah…me too." I say and bend down to Kiera and Danial. "Send a shuttle down here. There's no sign of the thresher maw."

"I will." She says and I sigh. "What is it?"

"Kiera and Danial are wounded." I say and stand up. "I failed…again."

"It wasn't your fault." She says.

"I just want to get away from this place." I say as I stare at the dead krogan and the dead asari.


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The day was strange for me. We had just gone through a mission that nearly got Kiera and Danial killed. While they were in the med bay, I stayed on the starboard observation deck. I have a lot to think about. During the mission, there was an asari scientist and a krogan engineer who insisted I was made in a lab somewhere—not birthed. They said I was made to be a powerful biotic, and I needed to watch out for my biotics going out of control.

Then, there's the fact that Kiera and Danial stepped in to guard me against the krogan battle master that tried to kill me on the spot. I had no idea that they cared for me that much.

As I'm lost in thought about the day, I hear a light knock behind me. "Knight. There you are." I hear Dr. T'soni say as she walks in, behind me.

"Are Kiera and Danial all right?" I ask as I rest my chin on my knees while I stare out the window.

"Surprisingly, they only have minor injuries. They will be fine." She says and sits in a chair next to me. "Why do you always come to this room?" She asks and I give a small smile.

"It's comforting to see the stars. It makes me feel less…alone." I say and feel a hand on my shoulder.

"You're not alone." She says and I look at her as I put a hand on hers.

"Maybe." I say and turn back to look at the stars. "After everything I've been through…" I say and sigh. "I don't know if you believe in guardian angels, but I believe I have one."

"I've read about human beliefs…I didn't know you believed in such things." She says. "Who is it?"

"It's a secret." I say and smile.

"I see." She says, sarcastically content with my answer. "You should go see Kiera and Danial. I'm sure they would like you to be there for them."

"I don't know about that." I say and she takes her hand off my shoulder as I let go of hers. "I don't know if I can face them again. What do you say to someone who almost gave their life for yours?"

"They knew they would make it." She says and I stand up.

"Maybe…but I still don't like it…" I say and she stands up. "How can you trust someone that much? After knowing they were…created in a lab? I know you heard what those…people told me."

"You know who you are, Knight." She says and I walk to the door.

"I just learned that I have DNA from asari and krogan. Are you so sure that I know who I am?" I ask as I pause just before reaching the door. "Jordan Knight isn't even my real name."

"Don't worry too much." She says. "You know far more about yourself than any scientist ever could."

"Do I?" I ask as I turn to look at her. She walks calmly up to me with a warm smile.

"You do." She says as she continues to walk towards me. I back up, cautious at the doctor's intentions, and walk into the wall behind me. Her warm hands brush against my arms. Rising, gliding up to my neck, then to my face. I'm entranced by the warmth from her eyes as I feel her face closing into mine. The next thing I know, my face becomes warmer from her touch and I feel my lips on hers. Again, it was passionate. I close my eyes as I feel the warmth of her hands moving past my face and into my hair. I match her embrace by wrapping my arms around her body. Slowly, I pull her closer to me. Then, as I feel the warmth enter deeper into my mouth, I think about everything I've learned about myself at the lab. The thresher maw nearly turning me suicidal, Shira, the krogan, and me becoming a monster—I killed Shyrah and the krogan, coldly, and didn't feel any remorse from it. Am I just a killer?

As soon as I start thinking about me being an engineered killer, I panic as my biotics make my whole body glow a bright blue. Quickly, I move my hands around to the front of her body. When my hands reach her shoulders, I push her away as our faces separate. Her eyes widen as the familiar look of worry paints her face. "Knight? What's wrong?" She asks and I think about what the scientist told me about my biotics being unstable. Maybe she's right. Maybe I'll lose control and hurt Liara—or worse. I could turn against her. I don't want that. "Are you all right?" She asks and I slowly turn to start walking away, but I'm stopped by her warm hand holding tightly onto my arm. "You can't just walk away after all of that." She says and I look over my shoulder at her. "Talk to me. What's bothering you?"

"I'm sorry." I say and look away. "Maybe we shouldn't do this anymore."

"Where is this coming from?" She asks as I feel my biotics react again. I'm angry. I want this—us. I really do, but I don't want to hurt her. To see her in pain would be the final nail on my coffin. "I thought…" She says and I turn to face her again. "…we figured this out already." She pulls me closer to her. "Knight. Please talk to me." She says and I focus on calming my biotics. Slowly, my biotics stop making my body glow. I try to break free, but her hold on me is too strong.

"Liara…" I say and she raises a hand to my face. "I'm not who I thought I was." I say and grab the hand on my face, then slowly pull it away. "I need some time to think about…everything." I say and hold her hand in between my hands.

"What do you mean by 'everything'?" She asks as she looks concerned, almost angry. "This is about what happened at the lab. Isn't it?" She says and rests a hand on one of mine. "Don't let what happened in the lab bother you, Knight. Because there's nothing that you've learned today that I'm uncomfortable with."

"Even with my biotics being the way they are, or the fact that I'm some hybrid species?" I ask and feel my hands shaking. "Even if…even if I end up hurting you?" I ask in desperation and feel her hand rub on top of mine, trying to calm me down.

"No, you won't." She says as she takes the hand rested on mine and raises it up to my face. "I know you won't. And, you don't scare me."

"Even knowing that I was…created in order to fight against the galaxy?" I ask and she gives me a warm smile.

"Even knowing that. Knight, I am not afraid of you." She says and I let go of her hand.

"Maybe not now…but…" I say and sigh. "I still need time to process all of this."

The next day, I decided to go to the med-bay to visit Kiera and Danial. When I get there, I notice them talking to each other and rest my back on the wall next to the door to go inside the room. "No wonder she doesn't want to talk to us. Would you be able to just talk after learning all of that? An engineered biotic that was abandoned during the development stage?" I hear Danial say.

"She's probably scared of herself." I hear Kiera say. She's right.

"Maybe I just don't understand humans as much as I thought I did." I hear Liara's voice. Why is she here? She's already gone to check on them. She told me they were healing quickly.

"No, Dr. T'Soni. It's just her." Danial says and I bow my head.

"If she's having trouble with her biotics, why would she not tell me?" Liara asks. "I'm a biotic as well."

"Give her some time, Doctor." Kiera says. "I'm sure whatever is going on is on her end."

"Maybe you're right." Liara says, almost vocally more content. Then, I stand up from the wall. Before I Get to the door, it opens to Liara.

"I thought you weren't coming." Kiera says as I walk in, while ignoring Liara. As this happens, I see Kiera and Danial look at each other. Then, the door behind me closes. "Dr. T'Soni seemed worried about you."

"Did she? I didn't notice." I say, sarcastically. Apparently, they hear my sarcasm and look surprised.

"Then, why are you giving her the cold shoulder?" Danial asks. "She obviously cares about you."

"We care about you, too. So, resolve any issue you have and get back to talking with her. You hear me?" Kiera says with a smile. "She was our friend before any of us met you."

"Why do you care so much about me?" I ask, coldly. Then, I rest my back on the wall facing them as I cross my arms. "You shouldn't have done that…jumping in front of the krogan battle master to save me…Don't do that again."

"Aw, she cares!" Danial says, playfully with a wide smile across his face. I roll my eyes at him.

"We're friends, aren't we Knight?" Kiera asks with a smile. "You did the same for me already."

"If you have to ask us, then we can ask you. Why do you care?" Danial asks and I look down.

"I don't know…" I say as I think about my days as a space rat. Moving from place-to-place with a group of people. Friends and people I considered as family at one point. "…I guess…this is what having friends feels like."

"Are you just realizing that now?" Kiera asks and I look up at her. "You're fast in combat, but slow at these things, huh?"

"Don't worry. We'll help with that too." Danial says as I think about my biotics and how they could get out of control.

"But, your little tiff with the doctor?" Kiera says and crosses her arms. "We'll let you take care of that."

"Even if we tend to butt heads every now and then…Remember that we're here for you too, Knight." Danial says and I give them a small smile.

"Thank you." I say and stand up from the wall. "I'll let you get some rest." I say and start walking out.

Later, I decide that it was time to confront Liara. I don't want to let what happened before tear us apart. She's the only person I've ever felt this way for. When I get to her door, I notice that she isn't there yet. Instead of patiently waiting outside, I walk in. There are no alarms going off and I don't see Glyph anywhere. So, I calmly sit down on the couch to wait for her.

After minutes pass, the darkness of the room makes me tired. Despite my better judgment, I lay down and fall asleep almost instantly.

I dreamt of the final battle I will inevitably have with the krogan battle master. We use our biotic powers against each other for minutes, hours even, until a single blast sends me flying. In the dream, I hit a wall on impact. When I hit the wall, I wake up. My eyes are still closed as I feel someone stroking my hair. "Knight, are you awake?" Liara asks as she stops stroking my hair, and I open my eyes. She has me lying on her lap. "I didn't know you were coming over. You should have told me sooner."

"Liara? How long have you been here?" I ask as I look up at her.

"I got here about an hour ago." She says and I slowly try to sit up, but she pulls me back down. "No. You're staying here."

"This is…kind of embarrassing, Liara." I say as I look up at her.

"Then, you should have thought of that before sneaking into my room and falling asleep on my couch." She says with a playful smile.

"I was waiting for you before I fell asleep." I say and cross my arms.

"Are you going to talk to me this time?" She asks.

"That was the plan, at least." I say.

"Don't run away from me. Alright?" She says and lets me sit up.

"Liara, I…" I say and sigh. "I'm scared of everything that scientist told me."

"I know." She says and I look at her.

"You're not afraid that I could lose control of my biotics at any time—with or without any warning?" I ask and she rests a hand on my knee. "You're not afraid that I could be some kind of monster?"

"You're not at monster, and I'm not afraid of you, Knight." Liara says as she looks into my eyes. "Are you afraid of me?"

"No. I'm afraid of…somehow losing you, Liara." I say and she rests a gentle hand on my face.

"You won't." She says and hugs me.


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N:** Time skip again. More to come.

 **Chapter 12**

Since being on the Normandy, it's opened my eyes to what can happen when you have everyone's trust. Trust is a fragile thing, even now. Even though we've all been through a lot together—enough to get to know and trust each other—they still don't know everything about me. Not even Liara.

Since the very beginning of this story, I've been keeping a secret from everyone. Once this secret is revealed, I may lose the trust of everyone on the Normandy.

The truth: I've known about the experiment I went through. I've known about it all, even before the asari scientist told me about it. The time I've spent on the Normandy has allowed me to trust in the people I care about enough to share my past memories, present feelings, and now my deepest darkest secret.

Remember the krogan. After the war with the Reapers, they grew to a substantial size—thanks to the cure of the genophage. They created colonies and constructed their own hierarchical system—and even managed to gain the trust of the entire galaxy in the process. Growing their numbers meant colonizing many other planets in the solar system, and made Tuchanka—the krogan homeworld—a place of security and development. However, even with all of their advancements, all of that changed. The krogan changed.

Nearly a century ago, the krogan started rebelling against the aftermath of the war with the Reapers. The krogan started branching out; creating new clans, making new allies, and destroying all who opposed their beliefs—whether or not they were justified. Because of this, rogue clans like Clan Janok started fighting against the Alliance navy fleets. Just like what happened to the Goliath, many other Alliance fleets suffered heavy losses due to the krogan revolts. The krogan who was in charge of this revolt was a krogan battle master named Janok Cain.

Before the rebellion started, clan leader of Janok and overseer of the experiments done on Tuchanka, Janok Cain promised all krogan a better future. He wanted the krogan to evolve into bigger, badder, meaner biotic warriors. The krogan were surprisingly open to his plans, gaining support from other species, and started helping him work.

The krogan battle master eventually saw what his experiments could become and started experimenting on other races. His plan became more than about just being for the krogan, but for the rebellion he would start decades later. Shortly after he started experimenting on other species, his intentions for his experiments gained attention from the council. Cain's efforts of trying to create powerful biotics were cut in half. He no longer had the aid he required for making an army of biotic warriors. Instead, he was only able to continue experimenting on a select few of his subjects.

Out of all of his experiments, I was the last human to survive the tests. My identification number was H-990, subject codename K.N.I.G.H.T. Krogan Nature-Integrated Genuine Human Targeter, 990th human survivor, an attempt at bringing fear to all who oppose Clan Janok. I wasn't just made to be a powerful biotic, I was made to be the clan's protector—their pet. A trophy, even.

Instead of allowing the other scientists to continue their experimenting on me, an asari scientist released me early in the final development stage. The lab team was trying to alter my appearance to look like a krogan/human hybrid. The asari scientist said she could feel me from inside the tank begging for help. She said we shared a connection during all of the tests and couldn't watch me being turned into, what would have been, a monster to most people.

After she released me, my biotics reacted to the Tuchanka air and nearly lit me on fire. Because of that, I went into a panic. Not even the asari scientist could calm me down.

On the way to a shuttle, I managed to destroy the civilians of Clan Janok. My biotics were nearly out of control. Nearly every krogan in the civilian area of the clan were killed by me. This scared me and I nearly lost myself again, but the asari scientist stunned me until I was unconscious. She managed to get me safely off of Tuchanka and onto an abandoned world, where she helped me heal from my injuries.

Shortly after my wounds started healing, I started having dreams about Commander Shepard. The asari scientist and I stayed together for about six years before we eventually decided to part ways. We had agreed that it was time to start doing what we could to benefit the galaxy in our own ways. Before leaving, she had told me her name, something she said her and her mother decided to keep secret. Serana T'Soni, daughter of Liara T'Soni and Commander Shepard.

As I sit on the starboard observation deck, thinking about how I will tell everyone my "real" identity, I hear an emergency call from my com. "Knight, we need you in the war room. Immediately." Danial says as I sense his anger. What happened? Quickly, I make my way to the war room.

When I get there, I see Kiera, Danial, Liara, and Admiral Coen's hologram. "Why now of all times-?" Danial asks and sees me walk into the room. "There you are."

"What's going on?" I ask and they look at each other before Admiral Coen's hologram turns to face me.

"Knight, I'm sorry, but they need to know." Admiral Coen says, seriously. "We've been receiving more death threats on my end, no doubt you have too." He says as I notice Kiera, Danial, and Liara look shocked.

"Yes, sir. I have." I say and notice Danial crossing his arms. Liara looks shocked as she stares at me.

"We have to tell them." Admiral Coen says and I bow my head—ashamed.

"Yes, sir." I say and the Admiral turns to the others.

"Since she joined the Alliance fifteen years ago, Knight has been receiving death threats from various mercenary groups." Admiral Coen says as I continue to look down, away from everyone. "She's been a target since escaping from a large slaver organization nearly fifteen years ago. The Alliance agreed to her joining the Alliance on the condition that, if this became any bigger of an issue, her partnership with us would cease."

"It's gotten to that point already?" I ask and he pauses for a moment.

"It has." He says and Kiera grips the rail in between her and the hologram. "Now, the krogan have involved themselves."

"Why didn't you tell us about this before now?" Liara asks and I look up at her. She's asking me. "We could have helped."

"I didn't want to endanger the crew…but, I see I already have." I say and bow my head again. "I'm sorry."

"You've been dealing with this for fifteen years? Just how old are you?" Danial asks with an angry look on his face.

"In solar years, 35." I say and they look shocked. "I was taken in by a batarian named Katar when I was thirteen years old, then I was sold to a slave trade organization when I was eighteen years old." I say as I start explaining about how we got into this situation—not even mentioning the part about the krogan yet. "Months after I was sold, I escaped from a buyer who payed millions for me, in advance. The Alliance saw me being dragged out of a building, open-fired at the slave trader's agents, and rescued me."

"I had no idea…" Liara says and I look up at her. She looks sad under her calm demeanor.

"The Alliance destroyed all information regarding that incident in hopes of the death threats ceasing, but it has come to my attention that they have not. And will not stop." Admiral Coen says and turns to face me. "By the authority and cooperation of the council in this decision, Jordan Knight, you have been stripped of all ranks and positions you may have held within the Alliance in order to protect its people. You are hereby suspended from your status on the Normandy and will await further instructions to your next destination."

"Wait—you can't seriously do this!" Kiera shouts and I look up at the hologram.

"Thank you for all you have done for me, sir." I say and salute the hologram as I fight back tears.

"Good luck on your next venture. Coen out." The Admiral says before the hologram fades away.

"I can't believe they're doing this to you now!" Kiera says as she walks to me. "You've done so much for them, so, why now?"

"I thought you'd be more concerned about the krogan, Kiera." Danial says and Kiera turns to him with anger. "They're the real threat here." He says as I notice Liara walking up to me.

"What's going to happen now?" Liara asks and I look away.

"I'm sorry." I say and turn around. As I start walking away, I feel a hand on my arm. "I need to be alone." I say and feel the hand on my arm slowly lift off. "We can talk more later, but for now…I need to gather my thoughts." I say and walk away.

Later, after deciding that I should tell Liara everything about the krogan and me, I make my way to Liara's room. When I get there, I hear nothing but silence. Is she inside? If she is, I hope she's not just sitting in the dark. As I'm about to open the door, I hear her voice. "Glyph, I haven't found any data related to these slavers. Run a full diagnostics on our hardware."

"Doctor, perhaps there is no data left to find." Glyph says and I rest my back against the wall beside the door. She shouldn't be doing this to herself.

"There has to be something!" I hear her yell, then I hear something drop. "Goddess…what am I going to do?" She says and I stand up from the wall. Then, after a moment of silence, I knock on the door.

"Liara? May I come in?" I ask and hear shuffling from inside the room. Then, it stops. The door doesn't open, but I sense Liara is standing behind the door. "I want to talk…but, I understand if you're too busy…" I say as I feel myself becoming more nervous. I don't want to see her cry for me. "…just, please don't keep yourself in the dark." I say and turn around to walk back to the elevator. Before I reach the elevator door, I'm stopped by Liara hugging me.

"No. I want you to stay…" She says as I feel her hugging me tightly.

"There's something I wanted to tell you…" I say and put a hand over one of hers. "…and something I feel you should have."

"Can you just…stay with me?" She asks and I pull her hands away from me, so that I can turn to face her. Once I'm facing her, I see that she's crying. "Just for tonight…"

"Yes." I say and she grabs one of my hands, then leads me into her room—blackened by the darkness.

She guides me to the couch. For many minutes, we sit and just listen to the silence around us as she leans on me.

Once Liara stops crying, I'll tell her. Everything.

After a few hours passed, and Liara stopped crying to sleep, I stand up from the couch. As I walk around the room, I put a hand into my pocket to grab the OSD with the data from the experiment on Tuchanka. It was a data cache of the experiment, development, and my escape—along with Serana taking the data disk from the console at the end. Along with this OSD is another OSD of the many death threats I had received in the past fifteen years. Liara needs to see these. She should be the one to keep them. If I can't be with her for long, perhaps she can find a way to somehow find me again using this information. She is the shadow broker after all.

As I load the OSD onto a computer, Liara wakes up. "Knight? What are you doing?" She asks and slowly stands up as the vid plays on the monitor. "What is this?"

"What I wanted to talk to you about…" I say as the vid continues to play. The lab on Tuchanka, full of life pods, tanks, and me inside a tank at the center of the screen. "No one, not even the Admiral has seen this."

"What is that?" She asks as the vid continues to show krogan, salarians, and asari working together—on me. "Wait—that's!"

"It was an experiment done on Tuchanka." I say and the camera focuses on the me inside the tank. "This is how I was made, Liara."

"Where did you get this?" She asks as I notice the shocked look on her face.

"I've always had it…since we went to that lab." I say as the vid continues to show the extent of the experiment. "The admiral wanted me to destroy this data."

"Knight…" She says and I look at her, focusing on the vid.

"Specimen H-990, project K.N.I.G.H.T. is nearly finished." One of the salarian doctors says, happily. But, then, a krogan comes charging in.

"No! We can go further!" He shouts, angrily at the salarian. "The biotic channel can still be improved!"

"No, that would destroy her!" An asari shouts and the krogan slaps her.

"This is not what the council promised me! This will bring the krogan true power!" The krogan shouts and turns to face the tank I was in. "She's no krogan, but she will be among one of us: Janok Knight."

"I won't accept this, Cain! She can never be one of us!" Another krogan shouts and Liara pauses the vid.

"Why would the council support this? What's going on? Why keep this a secret?" Liara asks, calmly but I sense anger behind her words. "Why didn't you tell me…?"

"I thought…you would hate me…" I say and she bows her head.

"You know I could never hate you…" She says and I put a hand on her shoulder.

"You still haven't watched the rest of the vid…" I say and she grabs my hand, then raises it to her face.

"Whatever happened during the experiment will not affect how I feel about you, Knight." She says with a smile. "As long as the real you is standing in front of me, whatever the vid shows won't change how I see you." She says and I smile.

"Okay." I say and she lowers our hands back down.

"Why would the council support the experiment?" She asks as she looks more serious.

"The council funded the experiment with the belief that this would satisfy the krogan." I explain and sigh. "They didn't do much research on what Janok Cain was planning to do with his research. It took him decades to create the blueprint for creating me." I continue as I notice Liara paying close attention to every word I say. "He wanted to build an army of strong biotic warriors to represent Clan Janok."

"Did they not see it as important to know why Janok Cain wanted to do his experiments?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No, they didn't ask because the krogan were slowly showing signs of becoming a dominant species in the galaxy." I explain as I think about all of the reports I gathered about the council's interactions with Clan Janok. "The council just wanted to keep the peace for as long as they could."

"I…see." She says as I see her trying to piece things together. "If the council knew about these experiments, wouldn't they have known who you were when you were on trial?" She asks and I smile. She catches on quickly. "This is the information that you were forbidden to share, isn't it?" She asks and I nod.

"The contract I signed forbade me from telling anyone about this…That's why the council disregarded all of my previous information and accepted me into the Alliance. They thought it would somehow solve the issue with the krogan—accepting one of their experiments into its ranks—but that's not why Cain started the experiments." I explain as I remember the trial. "I've known about the experiment since before the trial. Janok Cain never wanted peace from the beginning, even with my warnings, the council refused to believe that Cain would betray the galaxy by continuing the experiments done on me and the other subjects…then, after the council sent out a message telling Cain that I was alive, the rebellion started focusing on Alliance fleets." I say as she looks somewhat confused. "I know this is a lot to take in at once, but I'd like it if you watched the rest of the vid." I say and look over to the computer, then I play the vid. "It's important you know why the krogan are after me."

"The council won't support your delusions any longer, Janok Cain!" A salarian shouts as he and many other scientists leave the room.

"You'll regret this one day, pyjak!" Cain shouts back and turns to face the tank I was in. "I will finish you one day." He says and leaves. As the vid continues, I look over to Liara—who's looking very worried.

Then, I hear the scene changing to just before the final experiment. "She needs to be strong like a krogan! Try this!" Cain shouts at the engineers. "A weak human will have no weight in this clan! Even Kalros had armor and it was a worm!" Cain shouts and looks into the tank I was in. "She will be the embodiment of these experiments. A true inter-species warrior."

"You want us to alter her physical form?" One of the asari engineers asks in anger. "She already possesses the highest grade biotic implants and her genetic code has already been altered extensively to protect her from the inevitable internal trauma she will experience once we wake her."

"You will answer to me, asari!" Cain shouts as he points angrily at the asari scientist. "She will not be a failure!" Cain shouts and looks back to the tank I was in. "When the galaxy sees her in her complete form, Clan Janok will be feared and we will rule Tuchanka."

"That's barbaric!" Liara says and I hesitate to grab her hand to comfort her. Instead, she grabs mine.

"You can't seriously want this, Cain!" A krogan in the lab says and Cain laughs.

"This is exactly what I want. I'm building life in a new way." Cain says and gives a small sinister laugh. "Besides, she won't feel a thing from in there. She'll be a krogan soon." He says and leaves.

"How could he?" One of the asari asks as they walk to the tank I was in and rest a hand on the glass. "It's like he hurts you for fun." She says and I recognize the voice—it's Sera'na. "I won't let him do this to you…"

"Wait. That's—" Liara says as she notices who the asari engineer is. Then, the scene changes to when Sera'na was alone in the lab.

"I can't just sit here a watch you be in this much pain." Sera'na says as she looks into the tank. "I know you are hurting, I can feel it. I'll stop the pain for you. I promise."

"Sera'na T'Soni." I say and look at Liara. "Your daughter saved me, although…" I say and hear the vid cut to my release. After I come out of the tank, the lab glows a bright red. Then, you can see the lab on fire, me on fire, and then the lab in flames. Then, the vid stops at Sera'na looking into the camera. "It was all of those biotic enhancements…they made me unstable. It burned me and the lab, and made me run out in a panic. Clan Janok didn't stand a chance against my biotics…the krogan were slaughtered…by me." I say as I continue to face the screen. "Sera'na…Sera saved me and took me to a distant planet to help me heal…then, we parted ways about six years later."

"Knight…" Liara says and I turn to look at her. "…you should have told me."

"I didn't want to put all of this on you, but…now, if we end up separating—" I say and she hugs me.

"No. I won't let that happen." She says and I hug her back.

"Liara, I want you to keep this OSD…" I say and feel her hug me tighter. "…just in case."

"In case of what?" She asks and I sigh.

"Once I leave the Normandy, I'm…going to track him down." I say and she pulls away from me. "Since I left the lab, I've suspected Janok Cain has been the leader of the krogan revolts. After seeing this vid again, it's clear to me that he is." I say and look at the computer.

"You're not doing this alone! I'm going with you." Liara says and I look back at her.

"I'm sorry, Liara…I won't let you do that." I say as I feel anxious. While slightly shaken, I raise a hand to Liara's face. "I didn't want it to end like this, but…" I say and she puts a hand to my face.

"If you're really going to leave me, then…let me have you for just tonight." She says and I put a hand on her hand rested on my face. Then, she leans towards me and kisses me for a moment. Then, she pulls away slightly. "Join with me…"

"Okay, Liara…" I say and we smile at each other as our hands drop away from my face. Then, she grabs one of my hands and guides me to the bed. The next thing I know, I'm on the bed with Liara on top of me. She kisses me as I feel her hands on my body.

The joining was intense, yet I've never felt peace like that. It was soothing to me, warm. We felt each other in perfect harmony; our breath, our thoughts, our love for each other. It was like nothing I've ever experienced, and I'm sure I have a hard time explaining what it was like. There are no words to better describe the experience. But, I know this; as always, she was amazing. For as long as it lasted, I never wanted it to stop.

Still, even this peacefulness had to come to an end.

As I lay in the bed, awake, I watch Liara's sleeping face. Moments pass as I just watch over her. Then, I sit up from the bed. When I stand up, I hear Liara shifting in the bed—still asleep.

As I put my clothes back on, I think about what I should do once it's time to leave the Normandy. What should I tell the others? Should I even talk with them at all? They will likely not be able to trust me anymore than they did when I first boarded the Normandy.

Just before leaving the room, I leave the OSD with all of the death threats I've saved. She seemed interested, but I don't want her to focus on it too much. So, I also leave a note:

"Liara,

These are the calls I've managed to save of the mercenary groups that I've been running from for many years. Even though I know you will probably go through them, please don't worry over them. They are not something you should concern yourself with. Focus on the krogan. I can handle the mercenaries.

By the time you read this, I will probably be gone already. Thank you for everything, Liara. Every moment with you meant everything to me. You were everything to me. I will always treasure those memories.

Until we meet again, I will always be with you through the stars,

Knight"

As I leave the note and the OSD on her desk, I watch her for one last moment. She's still asleep. "Goodbye, Liara." I say and slowly leave the room.

Once I enter the elevator, I get a call from the Admiral. "This is Admiral Coen. A shuttle is waiting to take you to your new home." He says. Although he calls it my new home, it doesn't seem right. It sounds like the Alliance has decided to give me to the man who bought me fifteen years ago. They never told me about this.

"Yes, sir." I say and hear him sigh.

"I'm sorry." He says and the call ends.

As I reach the air lock to be taken into the shuttle, I pass Kiera and Danial. "Leaving already?" Kiera asks, looking a bit angry. It looks like Admiral Coen didn't tell them, either. Something's not right.

"Miss Knight!" A man shouts and hugs me as I'm emotionless. It's just as I thought: he must have been the buyer from fifteen years ago. "I've waited fifteen years to meet you!" He says and wraps his arms around me. Still, I'm emotionless.

"And you are…?" Danial asks and the man pulls away from me with a smile that seems creepy.

"Hugh George Senior." He says and looks at me with dirty eyes. "I have many plans for you, girly."

"What's going on?" Kiera asks and the man puts an arm on my shoulders.

"Don't tell me—" Danial says as he understands what's going on.

"I bought this rogue biotic warrior fifteen years ago." He says and puts his other hand over the front of my body. Surprised, I look up at him. "No, no, no. The Alliance said you would be loyal to me."

"You creep!" Kiera shouts as she lunges at the man. "The Alliance never would have agreed to this!"

"She's right. This doesn't seem right." Danial says and looks at me.

"Yeah. So, let her go!" Kiera shouts and grabs the man's collar.

"Kiera, stop." I say and she looks surprised. "He's right. We had a deal." I lie and the man smiles. Then, Kiera slowly lets him go and backs away as she looks at me with a worried expression.

"Good!" The man says and pushes me towards the airlock.

"Deal or not, don't treat her like that!" Kiera shouts and the man laughs.

"That's the beauty of the slave trade, my dear! She's mine now." The man says as a soldier guides me into the shuttle. "I can do whatever I want with her." He says and walk into the shuttle. "It was good doing business with you, Alliance Navy."

Just before the shuttle doors close, I give Danial and Kiera a smile. I have a plan to escape this mess.

You weren't expecting me to go with this man willingly, were you? Once a space rat, always a space rat. Pirate or not, I'm taking this shuttle.

As the shuttle hits the solar system, the man puts a hand up my shirt. "You're mine now, kitten."

"I will never be your pet!" I say sharply as he rubs my back. "Don't touch me!"

"You will be whatever I say you to be. You will do whatever I want you to. Because, after fifteen years, you're finally mine." He says and my biotics instantly react. "Aw, how cute." He says with a sly smile. "Are you scared?" He asks as he continues to grope me. Then, I give him a sly smile.

"No. I'm not. But you should be." I say and use my biotics to make a barrier around me—pushing the man and the soldiers away from me, crushing them once they hit the shuttle walls.

The look on his face when he realized he was in trouble—wide-eyed and helpless—priceless. Payback.

"You were supposed to be obedient!" He says and I walk to him with a sinister smile.

"Me? I wouldn't be obedient to some pig like you!" I say and punch through his chest, killing him instantly. Then, I look back at the soldiers. "Well, since I'm not a part of the Alliance anymore…" I say as I contemplate how I want to play this. The soldiers that were watching me before are staggered on the bed of the shuttle, while the pilot seems to be making an emergency transmission. I'll take out the soldiers first, and then take out the pilot. That'll have to do. Quickly, I take out the soldiers on the bed of the shuttle—killing them. Then, I walk to the pilot.

"She's gone rogue!" The pilot shouts and I grab his throat. "Call in reinforcements!" The pilot shouts and I use my biotics to kill him—in an instant. Then, I take his com to use it.

"You thought I was going to be taken so easily?" I say into the com. "Even your deal to me was shady, Admiral. I don't know what's more disgusting; the fact that I trusted you for all these years, or the fact that you almost just sold me to the buyer I've been running from for nearly 15 years—and in front of my friends."

"Knight, wait! Stop this! The Alliance did what we could for you!" Admiral Coen shouts. "If you won't agree to be taken into custody—" He says and I destroy the com. I won't be swayed by your lies anymore, Admiral. I wonder exactly how long the Alliance was planning this. Perhaps it was ordered by the council years ago to enact their own version of revenge against the experiments done on Tuchanka. Or, maybe, this was all the Admiral's doing. "Stop this, Knight!" He continues through the communications at the pilot's seat as I start controlling the shuttle. "If you do this, we'll be forced to pursue."

"I bet that's what you wanted all along, Admiral." I say and throw the pilot's corpse away from the chair.

"You're playing with fire there, Knight. Turn yourself in while you still can!" He says, nearly pleading.

"No, Admiral. That's not going to happen." I say as I turn the communication signature off and sit in the pilot seat. As I sit down, I set the shuttle to arrive at the closest station—beyond the one I'm really the closest to.

After the shuttle hits FTL, I make my way around the shuttle to destroy all com buoy systems with my biotics and take all of their weapons. Once I make sure everything is safe from behind the cockpit, I return to the pilot seat. "I've survived on my own before, so don't ever think I can't do it again." I say to myself and destroy my personal com. Now, I'm fully cut-off from the Alliance. Unless they see the shuttle, I will never be detected from here on out.

It's too bad shuttles don't have windows. I would have loved to watch the stars.


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Wow! A time-skip that makes sense for once, I'm shocked!

-Eddy

 **Chapter 13**

After I left the Normandy, it had been months until I was done running from the Alliance. The shuttle I escaped with eventually had to be abandoned on a planet in the Hades Gamma Cluster. Thankfully, I wasn't alone for long. Along the way, I managed to pick up a team of rogues, like me. Together, we started jumping from station to station to do odd-jobs while we track down mercenary bands to stop. The mercenaries we were tracking down were the same ones selling information about me to the krogan.

The team I had put together are; Lorek the fifth, a batarian brawler, Thran Goh, a drell sharp-shooter, and Orchid, a volus biotic. We had a turian with us, Spike, but we were separated about a month ago during an excursion on a planet in the Atlas cluster.

Because of me having to stay hidden, and without Spike going on missions for me, I had to change the look of my armor. Instead of blue plates, I have black plates. And, instead of only wearing a helmet sometimes, I wear one all the time—while I'm outside the shuttle—in order to prevent someone from knowing my identity. The only people that know me now are my team.

"Where are we going to next?" Lorek asks as he sits behind me. "We've already hit the Eclipse Renegades, but it doesn't seem like they've stopped contacting Ranok Cain."

"They'll stop eventually." I say as I see something on the radar of the shuttle. "Hold on. Activating stealth drives." I say and slow the shuttle down.

"We're only using a shuttle." Orchid says, nervously. "Won't they see us?"

"This shuttle should be able to handle it, Orchid." Thran says as I start to see a ship. Faintly, I can see a name written on the side. It's the Normandy. "Isn't that the Normandy?"

"It is." I say and start typing in coordinates for the shuttle to go to a planet called 'Goal'. "Jumping to FTL in 5 seconds. Get in your seats." I say and hear them sit down, then buckle themselves into the secured seats.

As soon as we hit FTL, I notice that the Normandy has picked up the signal. "Damnit!" I shout and see that the Normandy is following us.

"What is it?" Thran asks and I sigh.

"We're going to be having some visitors pretty soon." I say and hear Lorek groan. "Once we reach Goal, we're going to make a stop."

"Where?" Orchid asks with a short whine.

"The Blue Suns Resurrection foothold." I say and hear Lorek laugh. "What's so funny?"

"You always seem to put us through it, is all." Lorek says and I give a small laugh.

"I told you it wouldn't be easy when you joined me, Lorek." I say and hear Thran sigh.

"I'm just hoping none of us get captured this time. Like Spike." Thran says.

"Me too." I say.

After minutes pass, we near Goal as I notice the Normandy stop next to us. "Shuttle 105, do you read? This is the Normandy." A transmission says and I wave to Lorek to answer.

"We read you." Lorek says and a com channel opens up.

"Suttle 105, this is Dr. T'Soni. We ask that you dock next to the Normandy immediately." Liara says and I look up at Lorek, shaking my head.

"What for?" Lorek asks. He knows about my past with Liara.

"The Normandy reads you as a rogue cruiser." Liara explains. "Unless you dock on the Normandy, we will pursue."

"Why?" Lorek asks and I shake my head in shame. He's doing this on purpose.

"The Normandy is tracking all rogue ships for a classified mission." Liara says. Could they be looking for me? "Until you dock, I will not disclose any more information."

"Dr. T'Soni, we will not dock on the Normandy." Lorek says as I prepare to type in the navigation to land on the planet. "Goodbye." He says and I cut all communications.

"Why did you do that, Lorek?" I ask as I type in the navigation points. "You know the Normandy is looking for me." I say and the shuttle makes its way down onto the planet, through its atmosphere.

"It's been months, kid." Lorek says. So far, he's the nicest batarian I've ever met. "They're your family."

"I thought you would be happy to see them again." Thran says and I sigh.

"No. It's too soon." I say as we reach closer to the land of Goal. This planet is covered in grass and mountains. It's almost like an inhabited Earth. This place even has breathable oxygen. "Let's just take care of business and leave. Hopefully we won't see the Normandy's crew."

"Right." Orchid says as I continue flying the shuttle closer to the Blue Suns Resurrection foothold.

Once we're close enough to not be seen by the Blue Suns Resurrection, I land the shuttle. Just before we leave the shuttle, I put my helmet on. Immediately after stepping off the shuttle, I notice one of the Normandy's shuttles flying above us. "Let's hurry." I say and we make our way into the foothold.

We fought through every Blue Suns mercenary we could see. While I stayed behind my team, telling them my strategies, I notice a team of three run in from behind my team. Quickly, I use my stealth skill to hide myself. All of the Blue Suns mercenaries were killed, as far as I could tell.

"The crew of the Normandy, I'm guessing." Lorek says as he, Thran, and Orchid walk up to the group. It's Kiera, Danial, and Liara. My team stops at a ways away from them.

"Are you the crew from Shuttle 105?" Danial asks. "Not the team I was expecting." He says as I notice a sniper from the second level of the building aiming at Liara. Quickly, I use my biotics to charge in front of Liara—shielding her from the shot with my body. The bullet hits the side of my suit—opening my armor just enough to reveal the tattoo of my branding number from the experiment—H-990. "Who are you?" Danial asks.

"Get that sniper!" I say as I turn around to face the direction of the sniper. Then, Thran uses his sniper rifle to take out the assailant. "Are you alright, Dr. T'Soni?" I ask as I turn back around to the group.

"Knight?" Liara asks and I reach for my helmet. "That is you, isn't it?"

"Wait, so we were right this time?" Danial asks as he looks at me. Then, I quickly take my helmet off.

"Knight!" Kiera shouts and hugs me.

"It's been a while. How have you been?" I ask with a nervous smile.

"I thought you didn't want to see these people." Orchid says as he and the other two walk up from behind me.

"Orchid…" I say with a sigh as I look back at him.

"I thought you would be happy to see us." Liara says and crosses her arms. She's angry.

"What's going on?" Kiera asks as she pulls away from me.

"Why should we tell you?" Thran asks as he steps next to me. "The Alliance turned their backs on Knight and sold her to a slave buyer."

"We weren't the ones who did that." Kiera says and Thran puts an arm in front of me—protecting me.

"Thran, calm down." I say and Thran glares at me.

"I never thought I'd see you with a batarian ally." Danial says with a smirk. "We almost mistook you for a batarian fleet."

"We're all space rats here. Old…friends." I say and Thran slowly lowers his arm. "These are some of the people I grew up with…minus Orchid. He's new."

"I'm just here to help." Orchid says and I look at him.

"Yeah. We're all friends here." Thran says sarcastically and looks at me. Then, he crosses his arms as he looks back to the group. "What do you want from Knight?"

"We just want to talk—" Liara says and is interrupted.

"There she is!" I hear a mercenary say and put my helmet back on.

"I think we should talk more later, don't you?" I ask and turn around to face the mercenaries.

"I'm with you." Thran says and steps in front of me.

"Us too." Lorek says with Orchid. What are these guys doing? It's like they're fighting over me. That's a first.

"We're here too!" Liara says and steps next to me.

"What's this? Did you bring your little friends, Knight?" The mercenary asks as I realize that it's Spike.

"Spike! What are you doing?" I ask and he jumps down from the upper level—with about six other soldiers.

"Repaying my debt to you." He says and I see Lorek charge at him.

"We saved your sorry ass months ago!" Lorek shouts and I run to a safer spot to analyze the battlefield.

"Knight nearly killed me!" Spike shouts as I see the six soldiers huddle together. They're biotics. "She left me to die!"

"Lorek, move!" I shout as I see Spike take out his omni-blade. Then, just before Spike raises his omni-blade to strike, I use my biotics to push Lorek out of the way. "Thran, now!" I say and see Thran raise his rifle to Spike. I see the soldiers break away and start charging at Thran.

"Danial, use a grenade!" I say and Danial quickly throws a grenade at Spike. Then, from within the smoke made from the explosion, I charge at the group of mercenaries.

"You won't get away this time." Spike says and I feel myself get stabbed in the back—literally.

"Knight!" I hear the group shout as the smoke starts clearing. Then, I hear gunfire hitting the soldiers still standing. And a single shot hits Spike's head—killing him instantly.

"Were we…taking bets?" I ask as I see Spike slide down the front of my body. Then, I fall to my knees.

"Knight!" I hear the group shout as I feel someone catch me before I fall over.

"That was too reckless of you." Thran says and picks me up.

"You two seem…close." Danial says as my vision start fading.

"Not now! She's…" Thran says as everything fades to black.

After some hours pass, I wake up in the med-bay. As I'm waking up, I hear arguing in the room. "Regardless of your beliefs, Knight is a part of this crew." I hear Liara say.

"You don't know her as well as I do." Thran says. We've been friends since Sera'na left me on that planet over sixteen years ago. He is the one who owned the home Sera'na and I lived in. He's been like a brother to me. Not only that, but he was also the information broker who helped me search for references on Commander Shepard. I even told him about Liara and me. Needless to say, he never really approved. "Even with your little love affair, she will never mean to you what she means to me. Dr. Liara T'Soni."

"Knight is special to me. I don't need your approval." Liara says, angrily.

"She nearly gave her life for you. You should be grateful!" Thran says.

"I am." Liara says. Then, as I feel the tension rising in the room, I open my eyes.

"Calm down, you two. I'm fine." I say and sit up. The slight sting from the stab wound makes me cringe.

"Don't you ever do that again." They both say at the same time.

"I won't. I promise." I say and smile at them. Two of the most important people in my life are in the same room, together, with me. And they're arguing over me. Literally. "You know, this seems kind of like a family reunion right now."

"This is not the time for jokes, Knight." Thran says. "I didn't raise you this way. Sera'na's mother? Really?"

"What's so wrong about me being Sera'na's mother?" Liara asks and crosses her arms.

"Sera'na and I practically raised Knight for nearly six years." Thran says and crosses his arms.

"I wouldn't put you so high up there, Thran. You're more like my brother." I say and he glares at me.

"I'll consider that when you stop throwing yourself in front of bullets and omni-blades." He says. At this rate, Liara will be convinced that Thran is actually my father—or a very over-protective boyfriend.

"I hate to say it, but he's right." Liara says and I look at her. She looks angry. "It's been nearly eight months since we've last seen each other, and you nearly get yourself killed. In front of me, even."

"What were you thinking?" They say at the same time. At this point, it seems like I'm being lectured by my parents—who are literally non-existent.

"Spike was about to charge at you, Thran." I say and he sighs. "The soldiers would have taken everyone out in a split second if I hadn't stepped in. Didn't you see them charging up their biotics?"

"You…have a point." Liara says and drops her arms down.

"I suppose…there wasn't much time to plan out a clear strategy." Thran says as he looks up at Liara. "I'm…sorry for getting all worked up."

"Me too." Liara says and they smile at each other.

Am I dreaming? Please, tell me this is just a dream.


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

As I'm staring at Liara and Thran talking normally with each other, I think about why Liara and the crew of the Normandy were tracking me down. Did I matter that much to them? I know Liara had a reason to, but the whole crew? It seems suspicious. Then, as I'm lost in thought about it all, I sit up with my legs over the side of the bed. For the past few months, I've managed to dig up more information about the krogan. They've made more attempts at taking Alliance fleets. While this has been happening, I've been getting threats from all over the galaxy—the Alliance included. "I need to plan our next move." I say and stand up. "I'll be walking around the Normandy, if you need me."

"Knight?" Liara asks as I start walking, holding my hand up to my wound as I walk. "Wait, you need to rest…"

"Doctor…" Thran says as I start to walk out. "…we have an update on the situation."

I walk around the Normandy, alone, trying to find Lorek and Orchid. As I reach the observation deck, I notice that the ship is nearly empty. Where is the crew?

As I notice that I'm getting tired, I decide to rest on the starboard observation deck. So, I sit on the couch and lay down. Almost instantly, I fall asleep.

Hours later, I feel someone stroking my hair. Liara? "Knight, are you awake?" She asks and I smile as I open my eyes.

"It's good to see you." I say and put a hand to her face. Then, I feel tears on my hand.

"Don't ever leave like that again." She says through her tears.

"No promises." I say and pull my hand down.

"I heard about what the Alliance did to you…and what they are still doing to you. I'm so sorry." She says and I sit up.

"It's not your fault, Liara. It was the council and Admiral Coen." I say and look at her.

"I'm sure you probably figured it out by now, but…the Normandy is no longer allied with the Alliance."

"What?" I ask, shocked. "So, that's why the crew is gone."

"Admiral Coen threatened to ground the Normandy, but we've been ignoring his calls for many months now." She says and I look out the window. "The Normandy is a rogue vessel now."

"I'm sorry. This is all my fault." I say and she puts a hand on my knee.

"No. Like you said, this is the council's fault." Liara says and I look at her again. "You had no way to know what they were planning."

"Thran is an information broker. He knew." I say and she looks shocked. "He didn't tell you?"

"No. He didn't." She says and I smile.

"Remember when you asked me how I got the information on Commander Shepard?" I ask and she smiles. "Thran helped me find the information and the libraries I could steal data discs from."

"You seem pretty close to Thran." She says and looks away. I can already see where this is going. She thinks Thran and I are dating.

"Thran is like a brother to me." I say and put a hand on hers. "Besides, I've never had anyone as special to me as you are in my life." I say and see her smile again. Then, she turns to look back at me.

"He seems quite protective of you." She says and I nod.

"He was there when Serana rescued me from the experiments on Tuchanka." I say as I remember it. Serana had to have called someone to get us off the planet. "He's Serana's boyfriend."

"I see." Liara says, looking mildly concerned. "If Thran is with you, then where is Serana?"

"We lost contact with her a few months ago." I say as I remember going to her house on Illium and seeing the note that she was leaving to some science lab across the galaxy. "We found a note telling us that she was going to some science camp somewhere in the galaxy—she never said where."

"That's Serana for you." Liara says with a laugh.

"She has a house on Illium, if you ever wanted to see it." I say and she shakes her head.

"Serana is 300 years old. She has her own life now." She says. "She will come to me when she wants to see me."

"I see." I say and look out the window again.

"You disappeared that night…where did you go?" Liara asks as I think about it.

"I took the shuttle to Omega. That's where I started building my…I don't really know what to call them really...allies?" I ask out loud. "I met Lorek and Thran there. They rescued me from almost being captured by a mercenary band not too long after I landed."

"What happened?" She asks as I sense her nervousness.

"The mercenaries that captured me wanted to make me their leader—I refused." I lie and she glares at me. "Okay…they wanted to sell me on the street."

"Why?" She asks with a sigh. "Why do you always get yourself into these kinds of situations?"

"I didn't have my armor on. As far as they knew, I was just a lone crew member of the Alliance." I say and turn to face her. "Thran and Lorek saved me before they could do anything. They never touched me and I was never in any real danger." I say and she looks slightly relieved.

"Thran told me about it. He said that you arrived on Omega just hours after leaving the Normandy." She says and I nod. "He said you knew he would be there."

"When I was thirteen, I got separated from Thran on Omega." I say as I think about the past. "He told me to stay close, but I wanted to explore Omega. It was my first time there." I continue as I think about the separation. "He told me that, if we were separated, he would always wait for me at the heart of Omega. Because, he was also waiting for Serana the same way…with less kidnappings of course."

"How come you never told me about Thran?" She asks and I look away.

"Thran isn't as special to me as Serana. We always manage to butt heads." I say as I remember the day we separated. We were arguing about me wanting to learn how to fight. "I didn't leave him to explore, exactly…I wanted to learn how to fight. He didn't approve, of course." I continue as I remember Thran facing away from me. "We…had an argument just before I left him."

"He did tell me you two had a falling out…" Liara says and I feel her holding my hand, tighter.

"I met Katar shortly after…Thran warned me about him, but I wouldn't listen…I told him, if he wouldn't train me, Katar would…" I continue as the scene plays through my mind. Thran and I yelling, back and forth, as Katar crosses his arms in determination that he had won. "…then, he told me he had no need for a…corrupt human like me." I say and feel Liara wrap an arm around my back. "I told him I never wanted to see his face again…but, he quickly apologized because Serana just broke up with him—his anger at Serana translated into anger towards me. It wasn't his fault, but I told him I didn't need him anymore…and, I left with Katar." I say and hear someone walk in behind me.

"You never told me…" Thran says as he walks into the room. "…you knew about Serana and I?"

"I'm a tactician, Thran. Observation is a big part of my job." I say as he sits next to me. Liara takes her arm and relaxes it to hold my hand. "Besides, you were all Serana wanted to talk about. It was obvious."

"The only thing about that retelling you got wrong was…I never admitted to the break up with Serana. You knew about that too?" He asks as I think about it. He's right, I never actually knew.

"Maybe…I just assumed." I say and look at Liara. It must have been Shepard's will.

"But, you were right. We broke up just before you left." He says and I look back at him. "How did you know?"

"Intuition?" I say and he shakes his head.

"No, it has to be more than that." Thran says as he looks serious. "Don't tell me—"

"It must have been my…connection with Commander Shepard." I say and Thran sighs.

"This again? I told you they were just dreams." Thran says and I hear Liara sigh. "Knight, you can't have a connection with the commander. She's dead."

"Now I see why you believed so strongly that they were just dreams, Knight." Liara says and Thran looks at her, nearly angry. "He doesn't believe in the facts."

"Did she let you believe in those things?" Thran asks, nearly yelling, while pointing at Liara, then he points at me. "I should have never let you leave Omega." He says and I feel my biotics react to my anger.

"But, you did!" I say and take my hand from Liara to stand up. Thran stands up with me. As I'm ready to fight, I look at Liara and calm down. Then, I look back at him. "And, whether you like it or not, I grew up. Without your teachings." I say as I walk up to him. He backs away until I have him pinned against a wall. "We reunited eight months ago because I needed your help. Do you know how hard that was for me? To go back to the person who I pushed away all those years ago…and now, you try to pick a fight with the one I love. How dare you." I say and notice he looks scared. Liara stands up, shocked. "I put my past behind me so I could move on. You should try doing that too." I say and back off.

"I'm…sorry, Knight." He says as he looks me in my eyes. "I was only trying to…"

"Protect me?" I ask and feel my biotics react. Even I know that no one can protect me. These past eight months have made me realize the danger I'm in. It's made me realize the danger I let the ones I care about get involved in. "You know what we've learned, Thran…I'm beyond the point of being saved."

"What are you talking about?" Liara asks and I realize I still haven't told her.

"Knight, you didn't tell her?" Thran asks with a worried look.

"Tell me what?" Liara asks and I slowly turn to face her.

"I should…go tour the Normandy some more." I say and make my way out the door, but I'm stopped.

"You need to tell her." Thran says as I hear his nervousness. Then, he drops his hand away from my arm. "You knew this wasn't going to be easy. I'll let you two be alone." He says and walks out.

"Knight? What's going on?" Liara asks and I turn to face her. Then, I slowly walk to her and grab her hands.

"Remember the vid I showed you…just before I left eight months ago?" I ask as I feel a great sense of sadness. How am I going to say it? How will she react when I finally do say it?

"What about it?" She asks as I feel her nervousness and her heart beat faster as I hold her hands.

"I've been in contact with Clan Janok for a few months now." I say and she sighs. "The lab that was destroyed was rebuilt nearly a decade ago. The clan's warriors have been experimented on the same way I was."

"I don't like the sound of that." She says and I sigh.

"Neither do I, but there's something else you should know…" I say as I remember talking to one of the scientists. I wanted to know why my biotics would be as unstable as they are. It's been making me worried that there might be some complications with the biotic implant they used on me—and I was right. "…since I talked with that asari scientist, Shira, from one of my first missions on the Normandy, I've been worried about my implant. My biotics eventually becoming uncontrollable."

"I told you not to worry about that." She says and I put a hand to her face.

"Liara…the implant they used on me was damaged after I was let out of the tank, not during the mission I was on with the Alliance." I explain and she puts a hand up to my face as she looks worried. "That's why my biotics react during a conversation. That's why I can move so fast on the battlefield."

"I'm a biotics expert, I can help—" She says and I shake my head.

"No, Liara…the biotic implant they used on me is woven into some of my organs…I was grown in the tank in order for my body to grow around the implant. It can't be fixed…if, someday, I manage to damage it again…I might not be as lucky." I say, trying to convey to her that I have the possibility of dying, and I sigh as I feel myself shaking. Then, I lower my hand. Liara looks like she's about to cry. "That's why I couldn't face you again, Liara, after three months of knowing this…I'm sorry."

"So, you avoided me?" She asks as a single tear runs down her cheek.

"Yes. I'm sorry." I say and she lets go of my hand she's still holding. "Liara…?"

"I've been there for you this whole time. You told me everything about you, and still…I feel like I don't really know you." She says and sighs as she looks down. "Knight, I've spent these past eight months searching the galaxy for you…"

"I know." I say as I feel my body continuing to shake. I don't want to lose her over something like this. "The only things I've never told you are painful for me to remember…I don't want them to burden you." I say and grab her hands with my shaking hands. "If you really want to know those things, I will tell you…I just don't want to see you hurting because of me." I say and she looks up at me. "Liara, I gave you my heart a long time ago, because I truly love you. So, tell me what you want to know."

"I think that's the first time you said you love me." She says and, through my nervousness, I smile. You know, now that I think about it, this is the first time I've told her that I love her. "Knight, I don't want you to be hurting either." She says and I start feeling light-headed from relief.

"Liara…" I say and lean towards her. Instead of kissing her, I rest my forehead on her shoulder.

"Knight?" She asks and I feel her take her hands from mine to hug me.

"…don't scare me like that." I say and hug her back. "Looking at the stars without you next to me was really lonely."

"It was for me too." Liara says as she hugs me tighter. Then, for the first time in many months, I cried on Liara's shoulder as she comforted me.

Though the days to come were going to inevitably become harder on the both of us, at least we were able to share this moment of honesty under the stars.


	16. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

After agreeing to join the crew of the Normandy, I was given the privilege of having a room to myself. Of course, Thran insisted on it. Liara was happy that I would actually be sleeping in a bed—instead of a couch in the starboard observation deck. It had just enough room for a bed, a bookcase, and a table with three chairs. Completing it was a large window to see the stars. It was more than what I could have asked for. It was perfect.

However, even finally sleeping in a bed wouldn't stop me from having nightmares. This one, in particular, was about the first time I met a krogan battle master. He was the embodiment of what I feared. After what I experienced on Tuchanka, I was terrified of the krogan. Because of that, the fear I felt when I met this battle master left me nearly crippled with fear. This was also when I first noticed my biotic abilities. The battle master nearly killed me with his own biotic abilities.

Just as I see the krogan battle master make a move to hit me, I wake up gasping for air. As I sit up, I notice that I'm covered in sweat and out of breath. "Bad dream?" Liara asks as I notice her standing by the table.

"You could say that…" I say as I'm catching my breath. She walks to me as I sit on the edge of the bed.

"What were you dreaming about?" She asks and sits next to me.

"The first time I fought a krogan battle master." I say and sigh. "It was the first time I used my biotics to fight…"

"That must have been terrifying." She says and I feel a hand rub my back.

"It was." I say as I remember it. "I was barely fourteen…Thran stepped in and saved me." I say and give a small smile. "Then, he lectured me about getting into fights."

"He seems to care a lot about you." She says and I look at her.

"Before Serana left us on Omega, the last thing we talked about was…" I say and sigh as I look away.

"What is it?" She asks.

"She told Thran to protect me for her." I say as I remember it. She told me about her connection to me while I was in the tank on Tuchanka. "She told me that she felt...she said we shared a connection. She left to figure out what that meant for herself."

"Just how close were you?" She asks and I smile.

"She felt like family." I say and Liara grabs one of my hands.

"She was very important to you, wasn't she?" Liara asks and I nod. Serana was the only person I truly trusted from the very beginning.

"She was my first friend." I say as I think about a field trip she took me on. The point was to help me understand asari culture, because I viewed her as a scientist—nothing more. So, she took me to see Thessia. "It wasn't always that way, though. I used to see her as just a scientist, because she checked my vitals every day." I say as I remember Serana calling to me so that she could check my vitals. "She said that she cared for me, but I never understood what she meant. To me, she was a scientist obsessed with data."

"You were a child. You couldn't have known any better." She says and I put a hand on hers.

"She caught me looking into her data one day." I say as I remember the day we visited Thessia. "It was all numbers, and I couldn't understand any of it. But, there was a list of names—planets." I say as I remember how angry Serana was when she caught me. "Thessia was one of them."

"Why would she have that much data on planets?" Liara asks, curious.

"She was planning on showing me the planets. But, she knew we would only be able to visit one." Say as I remember Serana coming to me, asking me what planet I wanted to see. "Even though she was angry at me for finding her notes, she asked me where I wanted to go."

"So, you chose Thessia?" Liara asks and I look at her.

"She had pictures of Thessia all over her house. It was the only planet I knew, other than Tuchanka." I say as I remember when I first stepped out of the shuttle on Thessia. I remember the beautiful lush grass and flowers lining the walkways. "When we arrived on the planet, I saw every detail I could." I say as I remember the tour Serana took me on. We went to see the Goddess Athame, what was called the "inner circle", and the city. "I thought it was more beautiful in person. There's only so much a picture can show." I say and let go of her hand to stand up as I remember seeing a statue of a Reaper. "Before we left, I saw a statue." I say as I walk to the window, hoping that looking at the stars would calm me down. I notice Liara stand up and walk to me. "It was a Reaper."

"They left it there as a memorial to Commander Shepard." Liara says and I cross my arms, trying to stay calm. "She wasn't able to stop the Reaper invasion on Thessia. Millions of asari were killed in action."

"That was the first time I started having dreams of Commander Shepard." I say and feel a gentle hand on my back, moving in to hug me. "I was having trouble seeing Thessia as it is now…because I saw the destruction—the Reapers. Serana told me what she knew about the invasion, but she never saw it in person. She said that you did. She never mentioned the commander."

"She didn't?" Liara asks.

"No. Commander Shepard was an important person to her, but she never wanted to tell me about her." I say and Liara sighs. "She did have paintings of the commander in her house, though." I continue as I think about it. "Before leaving her house whenever we would go somewhere, she would look at one of the paintings of the commander." I say and smile. "She must have thought the best of the commander, though. I found her one night…talking to a painting of Commander Shepard." I say as I remember it. "She asked…Shepard to watch over you. That was the night she left me with Thran."

"She…did that?" Liara asks and I look into her eyes.

"She did…" I say and she smiles. "…over 16 years ago. And, again five months ago when she found Thran and I on Illium." I say and raise a gentle hand to her face. "When I told her that I met you…I saw her cry for the first time. She missed you, Liara." I say and feel a tear on my hand. "She wanted me to tell you that..." I say and drop my hand down from Liara's face to hug her. "…she's sorry."

"She was angry as a child…" Liara says. "When she turned 120, she left the Normandy because she wanted to know more about her father…about Shepard. I was still mourning Shepard's death."


	17. Chapter 16

**A/N:** MAJOR time-skip and missing half.

Thoughts at the moment: "Maybe I should rename this story to _'As I look at the time-skips'_ "

Hope I made you laugh!

-Eddy

 **Chapter 16**

After Liara and I joined again, I felt that I understood more about her. Liara wants a family. She wants to settle down. It's not like I don't want the same things, but I don't know if that's possible for me—for us. Even if we both survive the final battle with Janok Cain, is it possible for me—for us to have children? With my genetic mutations, my DNA might be too complex to bear a child—even for an asari.

As I think about all of this, I watch Liara sleeping next to me. "You really think it's possible for us…?" I whisper to myself. "A family? It seems like a dream…" I whisper and slowly pull away from Liara's sleeping body. Then, as I try to stand up, I'm pulled back onto the bed.

"Knight?" Liara asks as she wakes up. "What are you talking about? I heard your voice."

"Liara…" I say as I feel her grabbing my waist. "…you really believe we can have a family together?"

"It was something I've been thinking about…" She says.

"Do you think it's possible?" I ask and she softly laughs.

"Why not?" She asks and sits up completely.

"You want to have children—a family. I don't know if that's possible…with me." I say and look at her. "My genetic make-up is different from the average human. I share the DNA of several different species. That's why I can handle blood transfusions from many different blood types." I say and sigh. "You probably already knew that by now."

"Yes. Your DNA is far more complex from other humans I've worked with." She says and raises a gentle hand up to my face. "It won't make bearing a child with you any harder." She says and kisses me, briefly. "Don't worry yourself over this, Knight. I don't want to pressure you into having children with me. That's why I never talked with you about it."

"Thank you, Liara, but I do want to have a family with you." I say with a smile and she smiles back at me. "How can I not be worried about that not happening for us?"

"It will…someday." She says and hugs me.

"Maybe after everything…" I say and sigh. "We just need to stop the krogan first."


	18. Chapter 17

**A/N:** You guessed right—it is another time-skip!

In my notes, I wrote "Part one of the end" which I find pretty funny now, looking back on it.

-Eddy

 **Chapter 17**

It happened just before we arrived at the Citadel. Liara, Kiera, Danial, a group of soldiers, and I were talking about strategies to take out the krogan that took the Citadel. "The krogan will charge at us if we go at it like that." I tell a soldier who had just suggested that we storm in head-on. "We would be taken out in seconds with that strategy." I say as one of the other soldiers playfully hits his shoulder.

"This is the same krogan army you faced before, isn't it?" Liara asks and I look up at her.

"Yes." I say and Kiera pats my back playfully.

"You took out their clan, didn't you?" Kiera asks and I nod. "You did that single-handedly. We should be fine!"

"Yes, I did that…but…" I say as I remember receiving a death threat from one of the krogan battle master's spies.

"Knight?" Liara asks as I look at her, then at everyone else.

"I know that this time will be different…" I say and they look concerned.

"How do you know that?" Danial asks.

"The krogan I killed…weren't krogan warriors." I say and they look surprised. "It happened after I escaped the lab on Tuchanka, where I was...made." I explain and look down. "When I reached a village in Tuchanka, I was being chased by the clan leader. I panicked and started attacking everyone. They were innocent, and I killed them."

"You're just full of surprises." Danial says with an angry sigh. "You're saying you started the war?" He asks and I nod. "Why didn't you tell us this before?"

"Because…" I say and feel a hand on my shoulder. "…I finally gained your trust." I say and look at who's hand is rested on my shoulder—Liara. "The krogan battle master ordered the attack on the Goliath to get to me. All of this is my fault. I'm sorry."

"None of this is your fault, Knight." Liara says as I notice her trying to fight off tears. "You could have told me about all of this."

"You know everything about me now, Dr. T'Soni." I say as I feel the shuttle shake. We've finally landed. Liara takes her hand off me as I stand up.

"Listen: The krogan will be lined up and ready to attack as soon as we reach the Presidium. On the way, there might be mercenaries ready to take you out, so be on your guard." I say and see everyone getting ready to leave the shuttle. "Danial and Liara will take half of these soldiers, while Kiera and I take the other half."

"Right." Danial says and I feel Liara's hand on my shoulder. "You're lucky that you're the best damn tactician I've ever met, Knight."

"After my team clears the wards, Danial, I want your team to stay there and wait for my signal." I say as I see the soldiers on my team exit the shuttle. "Keep her safe, Danial." I say and turn to face Liara.

"I won't let you down." He says, confidently.

"I'll see you again soon, Liara." I say and turn back around, leaving with Kiera. Once we're out of earshot, Kiera turns to me.

"What did you just call the doctor? Liara?" She asks and I smile.

"That's her name." I say look over my shoulder to see Liara's worried, yet angry, glare at me.

"Are you two…" Kiera says awkwardly and I look at her.

"Are Liara and I more than friends?" I ask and she looks at me, eager to hear an answer. "We are."

"Oh! Of course you are." She says and gives a short laugh as we reach closer to the wards. "I thought you'd make a good couple. You both like looking at the stars, ya'know?"

"We do." I say as I remember all of the times Liara and I talked while watching the stars.

"You could have told me." She says and I notice a group of mercenaries. Just like I said. Quickly, I stop the group.

"There are mercenaries just ahead." I say as I examine the battlefield. There are four snipers lined up at the back, with five mercenary soldiers in front of them. Other than them, I can't see any sign of other mercenaries. The krogan battle master must have his krogan warriors at the Presidium like I said. He's too predictable. Quickly, I look at the soldiers with me. There are two snipers, three foot soldiers, Kiera and I. "Snipers, take out the snipers out at the back of the room. Soldiers, you take the front. I'll cover our snipers."

"Right." They say and I move to behind the snipers getting into position.

"Go!" I say as I put up a barrier over me and the snipers with me. It took a few moments, but we managed to clear a path for team two to hold this position. "Danial, we're ready to hit the Presidium."

"We'll be right there." Danial says and I motion for my team to move forward as I slowly follow behind with Kiera.

"Knight. Be careful." Liara says and I smile.

"You too." I say and I start walking into the Presidium as I hear Danial and Liara's team run into the room behind us.

"Knight, wait." Kiera says as she stops me. Suddenly, I see the Presidium crowded with krogan.

"Back to the safe zone. Now." I say and we turn around to run back into where Danial, Liara, and the other soldiers are. Just before we reach the door, it closes. "Damnit!"

"What do we do now?" Kiera asks as I look all around us.

"Knight? What just happened?" Liara asks as I turn to face the krogan. "Are you all right?"

"We're fine, Liara." I reassure her as I try to plan a route for her team. The upper level is sealed off, but it would make for a safe route until we can corner the battle master.

"What's going on out there? Why did the door close?" Liara asks as I can feel her panic.

"Everything will be fine, Liara." I say as I see my team surround me, fighting off a few krogan. They're going down a little quicker than I expected. Are they even warriors? They are only armed with hammers and aren't wearing krogan battle armor. If I can get everyone to make me a path, this will all end very quickly. I'm going after the battle master. He wants to do this the dirty way? Well, it's not like it's my first time. It's worth a shot at least.

"Knight, talk to me." Liara says and I smile.

"Listen to me, Liara." I start as I hear someone banging on the door behind me. "Get to the top level. I have a plan." I say and the banging stops.

"You have a plan?" Kiera asks and smiles at me. "Well, I'd love to hear it."

"These krogan aren't trained. I imagine the real warriors are up in the front." I say and Kiera looks back at the krogan. "Two soldiers on my left, two on my right, and the rest…stay behind me. I'll clear a path, then you go on ahead."

"You're just going to charge in there? That's the plan?" Kiera asks as I step in front of the soldiers.

"Hey, I didn't say you would like it. But, it'll work out. I promise." I say and feel a hand on my arm.

"Just be careful. You wouldn't want your Liara to come out crying from your reckless behavior if you got hurt, would you?" Kiera says and let's go of my arm.

"No, I wouldn't." I say as I charge my biotics. "Hopefully it won't come to that." I say and charge through the crowd of krogan. Instantly, all of the krogan go flying as they bleed. I literally cut through them. I stop as I see krogan surround me.

"I said be careful, Knight! Not get yourself surrounded!" Kiera shouts as I charge my biotics again, then let a burst of my biotics blast away the krogan around me.

"I'm guessing this is how you massacred the clan!" Kiera shouts, jokingly. "Nice."

"We're hearing some pretty intense fighting down there!" I hear Danial say into the com as I use my biotics to continue clearing a path for my team. "Is everything alright?"

"We're fine." I say as I finish off the last krogan in my path. Then, I motion for Kiera to join me with the soldiers. The krogan warriors are just ahead of us, waiting for us to make the first move.

"I think now would be a good time to tell us your big plan, Knight!" Kiera says as I look at the room ahead of us. There aren't very many warriors, but I don't see the battle master. They don't have any weapons either. They're just waiting.

"Jordan Knight!" I hear a krogan shout. Then, I see a krogan wearing shaman robes walking towards us. As I see my team raising their guns, aiming at the shaman, I motion for them to lower their weapons. "Clan Janok has come to negotiate."

"The last I heard from you, you sent word about wanting to assassinate me for killing most of your clan." I say as my team looks confused. I never told them about the death threats that came directly from the clan.

"Knight, what's going on?" Kiera asks and the shaman laughs.

"Your friend didn't tell you?" The shaman asks with a laugh. "Your Knight has been dealing with Clan Janok's assassins for many years now." He says and looks at me. "She's also been speaking to us on a regular basis. Are you prepared to meet your maker?"

"Maker? I thought that asari scientist was the one who created you?" Kiera asks and the shaman laughs again.

"Shira? That asari scientist who released this trash into the world?" The shaman says. "No, she only helped with the engineering part. Krogan aren't the best scientists, but we had great plans for our human specimen." He continues and looks me in my eyes. "The last time we saw each other, you were in the tank—barely alive. Cain's special experiment H-990—Janok Knight."

"Don't call me that!" I say and the shaman grabs my arm with force. Then, he pulls me towards him.

"If you come quietly, your little squad here will go free." He says as I put a hand behind my back.

"You'll take me to Janok Cain?" I ask and the shaman laughs.

"Of course!" He says. "Just what he wants! Just, don't squirm too much when you meet him."

"I won't. I promise." I say as I cross my fingers, then look over my shoulder at Kiera.

"You can't do this! Knight, it's a trap! They'll kill you!" Kiera shouts and I wave my hand so she can see it better. "We'll come for you! I promise."

"Just get everyone out. It'll be fine." I say, trying to prove to the shaman that I'm cutting ties with everyone. Then, the shaman pulls me forward with a jolt.

"Said your goodbyes, yet?" The shaman asks and I relax my hand.

"Let's go." I say and the shaman grunts a laugh.

He quickly guides me to the center of the room, on an elevator platform. As we go up, just before we disappear from sight of the warriors, I charge my biotics and attack the shaman. "Sorry, shaman. I can't let anyone of your clan live after what you've done to this galaxy." I say and the shaman dies from my biotics crushing him.

"Knight! Are you there?" Liara asks as the elevator continues going up.

"Yes. How are you and the others doing?" I ask and hear her breathing heavily.

"We're on our way to you. Where did you go?" Liara asks and the elevator shakes. Then, as I look around me, the elevator stops. "What was that?" She asks and I stop.

"I'm on my way to the top floor." I lie. If I tell her the floor I'm going to, she might rush into the middle of a fight. I won't let that happen. "Before I go any further, Liara…there's something you need to know." I say as I look at the door of the elevator. "I've been in contact with Clan Janok for six months now."

"Why wait to tell me about this until now?" She asks with a shaking voice.

"Because…I'm meeting with Janok Cain today." I say and hear Liara breathing harder. Is she running?

"Stay where you are!" She yells and I sigh. She's too easy to read.

"Liara, everything will be okay. I didn't come unprepared." I say and hear Liara talking to Danial. "I have a plan…and an agent working with me."

"An agent? Knight, what are you planning?" She asks.

"It's a secret. Will you trust me?" I say and the door opens.

"I don't like this, Knight." She says as I hear her breathing heavily again.

"I know." I say and walk out of the elevator.

"Where are you?" She asks and I sigh.

"I need you to stay calm, Liara." I say and she gives a light laugh.

"You expect me to stay calm, while you put yourself in danger?" She asks. "I'm not going to let that happen."

"Liara, listen to me." I say as I start walking further into the dark room I'm in. "I know you don't like this. I'm sorry, but…this is the only way. My agent is waiting for me nearby." I say and Liara sighs.

"You're not on the top floor, are you?" She asks and I smile.

"No. I'm not." I say as I look all around me. From where I am, I can see up three levels, but it's dark. I can't see very well, but I notice movement at my feet. The keepers. "I think I've stopped at the keepers' home. I guess we all find a home at some point." I say as I walk through the keepers.

"We just need to get you out of there, then we will find our home." Liara says and I smile. Then, a flash of memory of seeing many dead bodies and keepers comes to mind.

"Commander Shepard saw something like this too." I say and give a small laugh. "Though I'm glad I don't have to see as many dead bodies as she did." I joke, but don't hear a response from Liara. "That was a joke."

"Even now, you're having visions." Liara says and sighs. "You seem to be enjoying this."

"Well, I have to keep both of our morals up somehow." I say and she laughs softly. "We'll get through this, Liara." I say as I walk into another room. This one is well-lit and I can clearly see the three top floors.

"I think I see someone." Liara says as I hear someone break a window. "I see you, Knight." She says as I look all around me, until I see her. She's behind a guarded panel—making it impossible for her to just jump over the edge to get to me. Good. She's safe.

"Are you alone up there?" I ask and notice all of the soldiers with her. "I see them. Good." I say and feel the ground shake. Quickly, I look in front of me—there are three krogan warriors charging at me. As fast as I can, I charge my biotics enough to get away from them. These krogan look sick, like something is wrong with them.

"Janok Knight!" One of them shouts.

"That's not my name!" I shout as I charge my biotics.

"You were always a part of clan Janok. Yet you destroyed us without a backward look!" Another shouts as I notice them charging their own biotics—the same way I do.

"You're one of Janok Cain's experiments?" I ask and they charge at me. I wait until they get somewhat closer to me, then I jump above them and use my biotics to slam down on top of them. Instantly, I hear their armor and bones crush under me.

"You're one of us! So, why…?" The only one left alive after that says, breathless. Then, I bend down to him.

"I may be one of Janok Cain's experiments, but do not compare me to you. I will never be a part of Clan Janok!" I say as I charge my biotics again, then punch him. He dies instantly.


	19. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

"Knight!" I hear Liara shout in my com as I stand in front of a krogan, who's wearing bright red-colored armor. "Get away from there!" She continues and I use my biotics to move myself away from the krogan, just before he charges at me.

"You won't take the clan name? That's just too bad." The krogan's deep voice says from behind me. "You've always fought like a krogan, Janok Knight."

"Don't talk to me…as if you know me, Janok Cain!" I say, angrily. "I don't belong to you or your clan!"

"You're that human brat I built from scratch. I have the privilege to call you by your true name: Janok Knight." He says to intimidate me.

"Stop calling me that!" I say and cough as I feel his biotic grip on me.

"I should have killed you years ago. It's too bad my whelps couldn't kill you." The krogan says as I look all around me for an escape route—but, I'm trapped. "But, don't worry, you can't get away this time. Now, I'll finish this!" He says and I'm suddenly thrown across the platform. On impact, I feel something inside my body shatter and the pain takes my breath away. Instantly, I start coughing up blood. Cain laughs as he calmly paces where he's standing. "That implant still giving you trouble?"

"Knight!" I hear Liara shout as I see her and a large group of soldiers running towards me from far away—three stories above me. Quickly, I look at the krogan. He's more than angry. Then, I hear another krogan charging at Cain from behind him. This is my agent.

"Janok Cain, you weakling!" The krogan shouts and hits Cain—sending Cain flying into a wall. Then, I look up at him. "Knight. It's been a long time, kiddo."

"Wrex!" I say happily as he walks to me. "It's good to see you."

"I wish it were under better circumstances." He says and offers a hand to help me stand.

"Liara, I think you've met Wrex before." I say and hear Liara sigh. "He's a very good friend of mine…and my 'agent'."

"Clan Janok will be purged." Wrex says and I hear Cain stand up. "Knight is a part of my krantt now. She always has been."

"Urdnot Wrex?" Cain asks angrily and laughs. "Here to steal my possessions again?"

"Knight doesn't belong to you." Wrex says and I cough. I feel the warmth of my blood on my face as I gasp for air. "Knight!" Wrex says as he turns to look at me. Then, he turns back to Cain with a growl. "What did you do?"

"I've been trying to teach her a lesson. One that, unfortunately, she won't be able to learn from." Cain says and laughs. "Her biotic implant is reaching its limits. She will die here."

"Shut it! Brat!" Wrex shouts and I hear Liara talking in my com.

"Are you all right?" Liara asks and I put a hand to my mouth—wiping the blood off my face.

"Liara…" I say as I notice my chest starting to hurt—a lot. "I think my implant is broken."

"See! Even she knows!" Cain laughs.

"Why are you so inclined to want her dead?" Wrex asks and Cain starts pacing slowly.

"Creating her was the biggest mistake I ever made!" He says as he looks at me. "She wasn't meant to ally with other species, still she chose to defend what we intended her to destroy!"

"I'm not your puppet, Cain." I say, sharply as I stand up straighter. I can endure the pain in my chest.

"You're just disappointed that the lifeform you created knew right from wrong!" Wrex says and I smile at him. He's a good friend, isn't he? "She knew she could do better!"

"No! That doctor should have ended her life a long time ago! Instead, she released her and endangered my clan! She single-handedly killed my entire family!" The krogan shouts at me as I try to stand up. "She's a real pain in my ass!"

"Then…you should have made me a real krogan." I say and cough. "That way…I wouldn't have felt like an outsider! The…monster you created!" I say and cough some more. "I will…end this today."

"Knight, stop." Wrex says and looks at me again. "Let me handle this."

"No. This is my responsibility." I say and Wrex laughs.

"Watch out, Knight. Your inner krogan is showing." Wrex says and I smile. "But, really, you should let me back you—at least."

"Let's take back the galaxy, Wrex." I say and we shake hands on it.

"Knight…don't do this." Liara says in a panic. "I know what he did to you, and I know what you want to do to him…but please…like you said, he wants to kill you. I can't let that happen!"

"Liara, he's done this galaxy a great disservice." I say and sigh. "Liara…forgive me…but I have to stop him." I say and I hear a feint "no" as I pull the com out of my ear. "Besides, I have a true krogan at my side." I say and Wrex slowly laughs.

"Knight! No! Stop this!" Danial shouts. "Don't do this! You have Dr. T'Soni, remember?" He says. "Don't throw your life away like this!" I don't want to hear Liara scream for me, but I want the galaxy to be a safer place. For her. For Serana.

"You should listen to your friends. They know better." Cain says and laughs sinisterly. "But, you're already dead. So, it really doesn't matter. Now, does it?"

"Cain, you're not fit to call yourself krogan!" Wrex says.

"Danial, Liara, Kiera…I'm sorry." I say as I look up to the third level. I see Danial holding Liara back from the edge and Kiera looking down at me. "Thank you. You gave me everything." I say as I see Danial looking for a way to get down to me. "If this is the end for me, I want you to know…As I looked at the stars…you became the star I've come to admire. So…this time, I'll be your star. Liara, I'll always be with you." I say and turn to see Janok Cain and Wrex charging their biotics.

"How sweet." The krogan says, sarcastically. "So poetic, but it doesn't matter to me. You're an abomination that must be purged from this galaxy!"

"I may have been some kind of experiment…that you built." I say as I feel my biotics raging through me. "I may have killed the clan you built me to protect; your family, your clan, and your army. I may have done all of that with hate, but I…" I say and cough up more blood. "I can't let you go free after killing my family! The Goliath was my home and you destroyed it!" I say as the blue color of my biotics suddenly changes to red. "I won't let what happened to the Goliath happen to the Normandy! So…let's…finish this!" I say as loud as I can. Then, as Wrex and I charge at Cain with all of our strength, I think about the crew of the Normandy. This isn't just for Goliath. Now, it's for my friends and my new family—for Liara.

"Knight!" I hear Liara shout as I hit the battle master. Wrex and I fly at him so fast and so hard that we hit into Cain on both sides of his body. My arm and biotics manage to brake through his armor and the left side of his chest, while Wrex was able to smash Cain's right side to nothing but blood, broken armor, and flesh. While I manage to punch through Cain's armor, he managed to punch through my body.

I feel a weakness overcome me. A wetness covers my body. In shock, I cannot move. I just observe how my body feels. Cold and warm at the same time.

"Impossible-!" Cain shouts as he and I cough up blood. "You're not a weak human, but—how?" He asks and notices his arm reached into my body. He laughs. "At least…I'm not going down…alone." He says and collapses—dead. As I look at his body, I put a hand over my wound. It's deep. In an instant, I feel the warmth of my blood cover my hand. Slowly, I step backwards.

"Knight!" Wrex shouts as he sees me. "No!"

In exhaustion, I say, "After all these years…It's…finally…over…" as I feel my body start to drop to the ground beneath me. As I fall, it's as if I'm moving in slow motion.

I hear the pounding of footsteps running to me from far away. The roar of screams echo in the room. My body is numb. As I hit the floor, the thump vibrates through my entire body. My vision blurs as I see a pool of blood form beneath me. My body relaxes with exhaustion. In the blood, I see people running to me.

As time returns to the normal pace it once was, I feel the wind from someone racing to my side.

"Knight! Stay with me!" I hear Liara say as she bends down and turns me over onto my back. Two other doctors examine my body as Liara slowly strokes my face. "Oh, Goddess!" She breathes. "Stay with me!"

"The crew…of the Goliath…are finally avenged…" I say with a smile. "And…the Normandy…is safe. You're safe."

"Knight…" Wrex says as I notice him close his eyes.

"Why didn't you listen to me?" Liara asks as I see her crying. Her face glows from her wet tears. "You knew this would happen, so why…?" She asks as I feel a sense of being cold all over my body. Am I dying? "You promised me you wouldn't—"

"Dr. T'Soni…she needs proper medical attention and we don't have time to get her out of here." One of the soldiers says as I see Liara quickly look at my body—frantically trying to fix whatever she can. "She's lost a lot of blood…doctor…"

"Liara…I'm sorry." Wrex says as he rests a hand on Liara's shoulder. "This was my fault…"

"Don't blame yourself Wrex. You helped me kill Cain. He took too many lives…I couldn't just run away again…" I say as I notice Kiera and Danial running to us with worried expressions, sad even. I put a hand on Liara's face as I feel someone giving many doses of meti-gel to me. This helps, but I'm still losing blood—not as much, but still losing blood.

"No way…" I hear Kiera say as she bends down in front of me. "Knight…why would you…" She says as Danial puts a hand on her shoulder. I notice him and Kiera tearing up. "…you should have listened to us!" She shouts as I see Danial help her stand and then he hugs her. I see Danial shedding tears as well.

"Don't…cry…" I say as I put a hand to Liara's face. I feel my body becoming lighter as I feel the warmth of the blood surrounding me. "Don't…" I say and gasp as I finally feel the pain of my wound.

"Knight! Don't you die on me!" Liara says and I gently guide her head closer to me. "You can't leave me like this. You promised me…"

"I'm not…going anywhere, Liara." I say and, as I start losing consciousness, I hear Liara sobbing. "I…love you…"

In an instant, there was nothing.

Nothing but darkness.

Everything is laced with blackness. Where I'm at, there is no sun. There is no moon. Not even a single star to gaze up at.

Just plain nothingness.

It's cold. Damp and dry at the same time. Lifeless. But, I still have my memories. My family. My friends. Liara. They are all I have left.

Nothing else.

No light in the darkness.

No voice to keep me company.

No body to keep me warm.

No legs to stand on.

No heart or rhythm to hear.

No sight to see.

Nothing.

Is this a dream? I feel as though I have lost more than I have to lose. Gained more than what I received. Felt more than I can feel. Loved more than I hated. Lived longer than I felt alive.

I've done everything, yet still not enough. I've accomplished what I thought would be impossible. Empty, but full. Complete, but left unfinished.

Still, I am here. Lying alone in the darkness.

A slight breeze that seems out of place brushes the sides of my face. My body feels as though it is returning to me from far away. It's cold, yet warmer than the darkness. There's the sense of a hand resting on my chest. It holds me. It calms me. It helps me breathe once again.

A small light appears from far away. So, there is a light in this darkness. What is behind it? A frame? A picture? A person?

An echo from far away surprises me. It calls a name. My name. As I focus on it more, it becomes louder. Clearer as the light envelopes me.

"Knight!" I hear a feint voice as I feel my body moving. It's as if I were being pushed. "You're going to be all right!" They say as I slowly open my eyes. I see Liara and other doctors surrounding me. Behind them are Kiera and Danial. They look somewhat relieved. I can't speak, but I feel myself nod to let them know I can hear them. They smile as they stop following the doctors pushing me. Soon after this, I lose consciousness again.

Some amount of time passed before I finally regained consciousness. When I did, I saw that I was in a hospital room. I wasn't in any pain, and I wasn't tired.

I stand up and walk around. I'm alone in the room, for now. As I look out the window, I can see the stars. Suddenly, I hear something metal drop to the floor. Quickly, I turn to see a nurse looking shocked. "Doctor! She's up!" The nurse shouts and runs away.

"Knight?" I hear Liara's voice ask as I walk to the doorway. There she is, smiling, looking at me with tired eyes. Quickly, she hugs me. "I came to visit again…" She says and I hug her back. "I wasn't expecting you to be awake yet."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere." I say and she backs away slightly and kisses me.

After a moment, I sit on the bed with Liara. "So…how long was I out for?"

"Almost 3 months." Liara says.

"I was out for that long?" I ask.

"Your biotic implant was destroyed…so, you now have donner organs in place of the ones you lost." She says and I put a hand to my chest. "And…the Alliance standard biotic implant."

"I didn't think it was possible…" I say and Liara rests a hand on my chest.

"I thought I lost you…" She says as I see her starting to cry. Then I raise a gentle hand up to her face.

"I'm sorry, Liara." I say and she looks into my eyes. "I never wanted you to go through that…you mean everything to me. If it meant that you would be safe, I would do anything." I say as I look into her eyes. "I love you, Liara." I say and she kisses me.

"I've been visiting as often as I can, so has-" She says and is interrupted. Then, I hear a knock at the far end of the room. I quickly look to see who it is—Kiera and Danial.

"We got the call that you were awake." Kiera says as she quickly walks to me. "We didn't believe it, but we came anyway."

"So, what's next for the Normandy?" I ask and they look at each other. "Any more bombs to diffuse, krogan to battle, or rescue missions to do?"

"After you killed the krogan battle master, attacks on other Alliance vessels stopped." Danial says as he crosses his arms. "The war is over."

"We haven't been the only ones visiting you." Kiera says and points to a corner of the room cluttered with presents, letters, and balloons. "You've gained quite the fan club."

"That's impossible." I say as I stare at the gifts. "Those can't be mine."

"They are." Liara says and I look at her. "Now, the galaxy knows who you really are."

"I don't deserve such respect. I'm just a space rat and an ex-Alliance soldier." I say and feel a hand on my shoulder.

"About that…" Danial says. Then, I feel Kiera hand me something.

"What's this?" I ask and look into my hand. It's a key.

"Admiral Coen came to apologize for what he did to you. He decided it was time for you to put your days as a soldier behind you." Kiera says as I feel tears coming from my eyes drop onto my hand. "This is the key to your new home."

"I hear it's quite spacious." Danial says and I look at Liara.

"I'm starting to think that all of this is just a dream." I say and Liara puts a hand to my face.

"This is real." Liara says with a smile.

"But…I don't deserve this." I say and feel a light pat on my back.

"Take it from me, then: You deserve this." Danial says.

"The people who gave you these gifts…" Kiera says as she sits across from me. "…they came here, one by one, to thank you for saving their families. It took a while to get through all of them. Admiral Coen included."

"No kidding." I say as I think about all of the gifts. And the key.

"There's one other gift, if you want it." Liara says and I notice Kiera and Danial leave quickly. Then, I look at Liara. "The last time I did this, it was before Commander Shepard gave her life for the galaxy. She was very special to me, as you know, but that was over 300 years ago. I've never had someone special in my life since, until now. Now, I feel that I can give it to you. Because you are the one I've come to love."

"This was something you and Commander Shepard shared. Are you sure?" I ask and she smiles as she calmly nods. "Okay…" I say and she grabs my hands.

"Close your eyes." She says and I slowly close my eyes.

Soon, it was as if we were standing together in outer space. Stars surround us as I feel calm—at peace. Then, as I admire the stars, I feel Liara grab my hand. Slowly, she pulls me closer to her. Then, we kiss. It was long and heartfelt. Truly passionate.

When we come out of it, I feel an overwhelming amount of love. From the two of us, from the stars, from the galaxy. After all this time, I finally feel complete. "Liara…that was…amazing. Thank you." I say as I look at her with a loving smile.

"I love you, Knight." She says and, this time, I kiss her.

"I love you too, Liara." I say as I pull away from her.

"We should start planning on moving into the new house the Admiral gifted you." She says and hugs me. "Maybe we can both have a family now." She says and I wrap my arms around her.

"We will." I say and she gives a small laugh. "What is it?"

"It seems like forever since we've had this much peace." She says.

"I guess my guardian angel is at work here." I say with a smile.

"You never told me who your guardian angel was." Liara says. "Can you tell me now?"

"She was known as Commander Shepard." I say as I look out the window to see the stars. As I look at the stars, I feel Liara hug me tighter.

Even if it was just a consolation through the stars, I swear I could see Commander Shepard smiling back at me. Perhaps she has been guiding me to this destination all along.

If that is true, then I owe everything to her. Without her help, I never would have left the science lab. I never would have become an Alliance soldier. I never would have met the people in my life today. Kiera, Danial, Serana, and especially Liara.

So, it was you who guided me to the stars. You guided me, taught me so many things, and helped me bring peace back to the galaxy—just as you would have.

If you're out there somewhere, still watching over me, then I want you to know:

"Thank you for allowing me to see the stars, Shepard."

 **-XXXXXXXXXX-**

 **A/N:** I remember that I wanted this to be my "thank you" letter to Mass Effect. The Mass Effect Trilogy was a major part in my life at the time I wrote this. It inspired me to write again after 5 or so years without writing anything.

Thank you to those who stuck around long enough to get to this message. I have more interesting stories planned for FanFiction in 2019 and they'll hopefully arrive on time this year.

HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

-Eddy


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